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Chores

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Mattsmum2 Wed 16-Sept-26 17:39:14

Hoping people can give me some advice and examples that work for couples. Recently retired, husband retired already. When I worked he did prepping meals and some cleaning. He is a very planned ‘blue’ personality. He’s asked me today if we should have a schedule for home chores/cleaning. I think as long as it gets done when it looks like if needs doing that’s good. At the moment we seem to have fallen into the following:
Cooking, laundry, doing weekly menu and planning shopping lists - me
Accounting, gardening, DIY - husband
We both walk our dog,

It’s the cleaning aspect that’s in question. At the moment as I say I do it as I see it, so this morning it looked like the kitchen worktops needed doing. Although I clean them after I cook, needed to remove things on there and clean all the crumbs etc.

I am interested to know what others do. I told him I don’t want to become a slave to housework, especially if there’s other things to do like days out and holidays.

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Smileless2012 Wed 16-Sept-26 17:45:05

Since we drastically downsized 2 years ago Mr. S. doesn't do any cleaning but washes up and/or loads the dishwasher; he does clean the outside windows when I ask him too.

In your place I would say that I don't want a strict schedule preferring to do things when I think they need doing and suggest he does the same.

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Fallingstar Wed 16-Sept-26 18:02:00

Women tend to be better at seeing what needs doing in the house whereas men often need to be reminded, not in every case but in quite a few. So would do some housework then remind him about what he needs to do. This is tiring but after a while he might get the idea.
I would btw look at gardening and DIY as occasional jobs or hobbies.

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Casdon Wed 16-Sept-26 18:07:18

I’d tell him that if he wants to do a list for his own chores, you’d be very happy for him to do that. Agree between you which are his jobs, and he can pin it to the fridge or wherever and follow it. I think some people are list people, and if it makes him comfortable to know what he’s doing when, so be it - just make it clear that for your agreed chores you will do it your own way.

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David49 Wed 16-Sept-26 18:22:28

I have no problem doing things that needed doing cleaning, washing, cooking, now retired I have time so why not. However it's a very relaxed routine, my wife is not an ardent house keeper so I do it when I think it needs doing.

I do most of the food shopping too, in the end it's about equal, we are both happy with the routine.

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Fallingstar Wed 16-Sept-26 18:30:26

David49

I have no problem doing things that needed doing cleaning, washing, cooking, now retired I have time so why not. However it's a very relaxed routine, my wife is not an ardent house keeper so I do it when I think it needs doing.

I do most of the food shopping too, in the end it's about equal, we are both happy with the routine.

Glad to hear this David. Before my DH had a stroke he was better at cleaning the house than me and his speciality was the bathroom. I was lucky but some of my friends and relatives not so much.

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petra Wed 16-Sept-26 18:48:34

I haven’t shopped for food or cooked it for over 30 years.
MrP loves both, I don’t.
He has never cleaned because I don’t want or need him too.
I don’t find housework a chore. We live in a small bungalow and are both tidy people. How much work can 2 people make.
Having said that I wouldn’t want anyone to see my sewing room or garden shed right now. 😱

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kittylester Wed 16-Sept-26 19:17:39

Can you get a cleaner? A couple of hours a week is a worthwhile investment to be able to forget about it.

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