Gransnet forums

Relationships

How About Some Good News?

(112 Posts)
Puzzled Thu 09-Jul-20 10:42:59

It saddens me to see so many posts on the lines of
"I don't like my husband. I can't wait to get out of this marriage, but can't afford to leave"
How many can, and will post something like
"We've been married for 50+ years. We have our own hobbies, interests and friends, but enjoy sharing activities and time, going out together.
We appreciate the small gestures like making and bringing a drink, the unexpected gift, a bar of chocolate, a shirt, jewelry, or pretty knickers. We we like to compliment each other on their appearance, dressed or otherwise.
We enjoy a hug and a cuddle. We make love to give pleasure to each other"

There must be some happy people out there, just say so!

Lucca Thu 09-Jul-20 10:46:45

Would a post like that not fit into the “signalling” category as discussed last week ?!

Whitewavemark2 Thu 09-Jul-20 10:48:25

Us😄😄 - can’t say my DH has ever bought me pretty knickers though.

50+ years.

Whitewavemark2 Thu 09-Jul-20 10:49:07

Oh 😳 surely we can say if we are happy?

Riverwalk Thu 09-Jul-20 10:50:23

After you Puzzle.

Riverwalk Thu 09-Jul-20 10:51:41

can’t say my DH has ever bought me pretty knickers though.

LTB!

merlotgran Thu 09-Jul-20 10:51:59

Pretty knickers??? grin grin

The last surprise present I had was packet of cable ties for my woman drawer in the kitchen.

I keep nicking his to secure netting to frames in the veg garden grin

Puzzled Thu 09-Jul-20 11:04:16

It's nice to get presents that we want and can use. Like a hand wheel for my lathe one Christmas!
DW would not appreciate a small socket set, (I would) although she did find the secateurs and a Stanley knife useful

B9exchange Thu 09-Jul-20 11:04:25

Happy with mine, has bought me flowers twice in the past month, cooks 50% of meals, shares the housework 50/50 (though draws the line at cleaning the loos!) and is a good travel companion. GC adore him.

Last Chrismas he knew I was upset as we had no-one visiting, and came in on Christmas morning with a stocking stuffed with all the little things I would love.

Has definitely improved over the past 47 years, much easier to live with than 20 years ago!

Definite brownie points yesterday, I nicked a pair of his socks as didn't have any clean navy ones, he recognised them but told me I could keep them as he had plenty!

Tangerine Thu 09-Jul-20 11:06:26

People who are unhappy often wish for advice. Perhaps happy people don't feel the need for it.

Puzzled Thu 09-Jul-20 11:06:34

Keep the happy news coming!

Be happy with each other

Puzzled Thu 09-Jul-20 11:11:57

For any doubters,
Yes, we do argue and disagree, very strongly at times, but we get over it.
56 years and counting, so we still enjoy being together, if "still" is correct in this context.

Witzend Thu 09-Jul-20 11:20:31

I dare say many GNers are reluctant to post about relatively happy relationships, for fear of coming across as smug, when it’s clear that other GNers are very unhappy about relationships with spouses/partners/children.

Nortsat Thu 09-Jul-20 11:34:14

I agree Witzend, it could easily be read as ‘signalling’ (which I learned about from the wealth signalling thread recently), if GNs are unhappy or facing challenges.

The wealth signalling thread made me think. We certainly aren’t wealthy but some of my posts might be read as if I’m signalling.

I applaud Puzzled for starting a good news thread, but it might be a bit challenging for some GNs.

My partner and I are happy together after 44 (not perfect) years and still say ‘I love you’, spontaneously to one another.

Riverwalk Thu 09-Jul-20 11:37:47

By virtue of their posts on various topics I'd say there are many happily-married members on GN but they don't feel the need to make a specific announcement, when it's obvious!

Bluebellwould Thu 09-Jul-20 11:49:31

OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE! VIRTUE SIGNALLING!
What on earth has gone wrong with us if people aren’t allowed to say they are happy with their partners. I’ve been a widow now for 19 months after 40 years of marriage, with its ups and downs, but I am delighted to hear happy stories from others. Doesn’t it make the whole world a nicer place to know that there is happiness and love still to be found? Good grief are we all to be squeezed into little boxes unable to say anything at all about anything in case we are judged to be boasting, racist, sexist or anything ist.
Keep your happy stories coming, I enjoy them even if it prompts a few tears from me. Enjoy your partners everyone.

Lucca Thu 09-Jul-20 11:53:08

Re my post about signalling....in case it wasn’t obvious, this was tongue in cheek.

ninathenana Thu 09-Jul-20 11:58:57

I'm more than happy with the one I've had for the past 45 yrs.
I could have written the OP although he's never bought me undies.
Though he hasn't much hair these days he's still slim, fit and looking good at 72.
I'm very happy.

sodapop Thu 09-Jul-20 12:23:34

My husband is kind, tolerant and patient, all the things I am not. I try to remember this when I am screeching at him about his hoarding or other things which irritate me.

threexnanny Thu 09-Jul-20 12:26:44

We haven't made it to 50 yet - a mere 45 years so far. We are both very content and do give each other little gifts at times, although it has never included knickers, pretty or not.

Toadinthehole Thu 09-Jul-20 12:54:16

Yes, very happy, been together since 16, and wouldn’t change him even though sometimes he drives me mad!

Toadinthehole Thu 09-Jul-20 12:57:08

ps, my husband says he’s very happy with his knicker collection 🤪

SueDonim Thu 09-Jul-20 14:14:59

Ah, these posts about long relationships are so lovely to read. smile

It’ll be 48 years for us this year, though as Dh worked away from home for much of our married life, he reckons its only 24 years. grin

J52 Thu 09-Jul-20 14:20:20

Another happy marriage here, 46 years. We respect each other’s differences, laugh about mishaps, discuss things and don’t sweat the small things.
I probably drive him mad at times, whereas he’s perfect! grin

Witzend Thu 09-Jul-20 14:26:52

To be honest I wouldn’t even have thought about ‘happiness signalling’ if not for a recent poster who was evidently uncomfortable with what she sees as ‘wealth signalling’.