Sorry it’s a long post.
My DS “separated” (meaning he slept downstairs, her upstairs) at the end of 2022. Their financial situation prevented separate homes. They have two children (14 and 12).
During December 2023 my DS joined a dating site and was liked by a Spanish woman living in Dublin. He liked her back and from then on they apparently spoke every night and found they could tell each other anything.
At the end of January my DS moved into his own place. (My two DG were very upset as the separation for them was now real).
A week or so later his “friend” flew over and stayed the weekend with him (after never having met him in person). A week or so later, she flew over again for the weekend. Then in March my DS flew to Dublin and stayed with her for 5 nights. Before going to Dublin my DS told me that they are in love with each other and as soon as his divorce is through (May) they will get married so that she can come to England without having to apply to live/work here.
I was happy for my DS finding someone he can talk to and make him feel worthy (he was in an abusive marriage). However, I’m so worried that he’s rushing into marriage so quickly after only knowing this woman for a short while. Apparently she wants to come to England but can’t get in because she’s doesn’t have any qualifications.
I feel he’s in a very vulnerable state after being treated so bad by his soon-to-be ex wife. I’ve told my DS that whilst I’m very happy that he’s met someone I feel he should not rush into marrying her. Thing is, if they don’t marry she would not be able to come and live in England and they’d have to make do with travelling back and forth between England and Dublin.
My DS is now very hurt that I’m not supporting him wanting to marry and won’t discuss it anymore with me. He’s also not thinking of how this marriage would affect his two children as they do not know anything about his new relationship. Both DC are just getting used to their parents living apart (custody is 50/50).
I can’t help but wonder why this woman went on a dating site looking for a partner in England and not closer to Dublin (she found my DS as he was only looking within a 40 mile radius from where he lives). I can’t help but wonder if she is telling him everything he wants to hear (he’s vulnerable and on the rebound) because she wants to live and work in England.
What do other GNs think?
The Republic of Ireland and their tensions with migrants.