Unwanted visitor

Can you tell her that you're not feeling up to hosting just now, and that you'll see how you feel next year? You don't need to go into detail - just leave it at that.

If she comes back asking again next year, you can rinse and repeat until she gets the message.

I agree with Watermeadow, tell her you haven't been feeling so great lately and just can't have people staying, you shouldn't have to put up with people you don't want, and people shouldn't just invite themselves.

I agree with Doodle.

I meant , I agree with Doodledog

I’d say that you’ve been feeling unwell and your GP has advised rest and peace and quiet. Just say you’re having tests if she asks why.

Failing which, just say no it’s not convenient. If you don’t like her, just block her phone number and no reply to emails. She’d surely get the message.

You could say something like "When I turned (whatever age you reached last birthday*) I promised myself I wouldn't have people to stay anymore as I find it all too much of a strain."

I know that is a bit rude but Gangsta Granny deserves it by the sound of it.

*I am assuming that you have had a birthday since she last stayed. If not, just the bit about finding it too much of a strain would do.

She sounds awful. And 65 years ago and occasional contact is tenuous enough for you to be a bit more direct or, (as you’ve said) she’ll keep inviting herself. Just tell her that the hours she keeps doesn’t work for you to have her staying over.

You’ll only have to do it once! Then you’ll never have to fret about it again.

Good luck!

Just say No

Just say no. The last visit was exhausting and I don’t think we have anything in common anymore. Honesty is the best policy.