Gransnet forums


Not really spiritual!

(11 Posts)
celebgran Wed 14-Aug-13 19:16:00

Gosh just found letter sent to my oh from my late mum,

So precious to me as have very little letters I kept it was so typical caring sending oh get well card and cash towards day out.
What lovely mum she was!

This loft clearance goes on and on!

petallus Wed 14-Aug-13 20:58:35

Old letters can be so poignant. I have a shoe box full and every now and then I take them out and reread them. They are not all to me. Some were written before I was born. There's a telegram telling my grandmother that her mother had died several days previously. She couldn't go to the funeral because the train fare was beyond her means.

LizG Wed 14-Aug-13 21:41:23

So sad petallus.

I have a torn brown envelope in which there is my father's demob book, his post war references and war cuttings. With these go my parents' marriage certificate and my christening certificate. Sometimes I bring it out just to prove I exist. Don't mean that to sound miserable, I am not interested in making a Family Tree but these items are really special.

Iam64 Thu 15-Aug-13 07:39:05

We have a faded post card my grandfather sent to his mother from France, during the first world war. I have a list of the many addresses we lived at as I was growing up, with both my parents hand writing as they added new homes to the growing list. I imagine most of the mother's on here will have cards etc made by their young children. There is something so special about hand written items, especially now we communicate electronically much of the time

celebgran Thu 15-Aug-13 07:59:15

Iam64 we also found bag of. Letters to me from our daughter aged 11 as she mentions 11 plus they are so loving and how could she have changed so much?
Lots of dear little loving messages that I will never part with also have lots cards and letters right up until she cut us out is like a different person.

Iam64 Thu 15-Aug-13 08:34:57

celebgran, I have a similar collection from my estranged child, and I'm sure we aren't alone in this.

celebgran Thu 15-Aug-13 10:31:37

Sadly I don't think we are flowers I don't look at them now too painful especially since latest about grandchild no 3 We have no details for

Greatnan Thu 15-Aug-13 14:12:09

I look at the Mother's Day and birthday cards, which tell me how much my daughter loved me, and how grateful she was for all the support I gave her. In my case, I do know what changed - she was injured by a negligent surgeon, became addicted to the codeine they gave her for her terrible agony, and has developed paranoid delusions. She has probably damaged her heart and liver and has a bleeding ulcer. I live in dread of a phone call from her daughter to say she has taken another overdose, or has collapsed. Even worse, she has managed to convince three of her four children that I am their enemy. I don't know whether they believe her, or if they are just afraid to upset her - she is very good at emotional blackmail.
I may be a terrible person, but I feel terrible anger towards that surgeon,who was allowed to retire with his pension intact and now hires out his huge farmhouse for wedding venues. The medical establishment had conspired for years to cover up his many, many mistakes and he cost the NHS over two million pounds in compensation. Had anybody blown the whistle when he started making mistakes, many women would not have had their lives ruined.

Nonu Thu 15-Aug-13 17:42:43

I have tin box full of letters from my Grandmother to my Mother , written during WWII , they were in different parts of the country, they are very, very poignant !!

I have also kept all the little notes, cards , drawings my children wrote to us as they were growing up . quite unbearably sweet ! Could not imagine getting rid of them ! We sometimes show them to them , and they laugh but I know that deep down they love them .

Could not bear to part with them , that is a job for someone else !


Iam64 Fri 16-Aug-13 08:26:05

greatnan - I suspect that drugs, prescription or otherwise, are at the root of a number of our estranged children threads. tough isn't it, but like you, I continue to keep the door open, to send small gifts and cards on special occasions. I feel very fortunate to still have contact with my grandsons

celebgran Fri 16-Aug-13 10:03:54

Yes. Great nan must help to know why your daughter is behaving like that.

We don't know other than I used to row with her much as I loved her we did not get on. For this she blames me 100% and mentions my depression that suffered from on off thank god not for over 10 years.
We also know her husband is against us and went to police to report us for alleged harassment.
That was the hardest pill but being fighter i got our mp to write to police and this was apologised for and they admitted we done nothing wrong.

So very sad that a daughter who we gave it all to including 4 years at uni could try to destroy her parents and be so cruel denying us our beloved grandchildren.