Does being religious make you more generous?

Not wanting to be rude or critical, Lilygran. I'm interested to know how/why door to door charity collection is justified. I see it like cold calling - uninvited and unwanted. I give to charities of my own volition and feel annoyed when people appear at my front door to ask for, or sell, something out of the blue. I probably look annoyed, too, even though I usually say 'no thankyou, I'm not interested.'

I don't see it as significantly different from approaching people in supermarkets or on the street, whenim. And as you say, you may be annoyed but you remain polite!

It is different, actually. In a supermarket or in the street you can avoid them if you want to, by steering a wide path or passing them while they are busy with someone else, and if they do stop you, you can say no thanks and walk on.

But when you have answered the door they are the ones who have to turn and walk away, and you are faced with being more positive about rejecting them than if you were in an open street and could leave. Add in the way we are taught to be polite and we feel guilty at turning them away. That is what makes us resent them - the guilt that they lay on us.

I think it's the approaching bit that riles me, Lilygran. Sorry. I'm happy to walk over and empty change out of my purse to someone stood there with a collecting bucket, but being waylaid is another matter. The bit that interests me is how/why people feel it's ok to come to my door to ask for money for charities - do they assume people won't mind? I wouldn't dream of going to a stranger's door to collect money off them when I don't know what charities they give to or whether they would be annoyed.

I have been part of a can collection in a shopping mall, and there were quite stringent rules. We were not allowed to approach anyone or to rattle the tin, or to block the passageway. We had to stand there looking appealing until people came up to us with cash. Even so we made quite a bit of money for the charity.

I think it's important to remember that being charitable is not just about giving money to charities. People may have good reasons not to do that. I think, like when, that door-to-door collecting is too intrusive, whatever the cause. The feeling of one's privacy being intruded upon may be why some people appear annoyed when faced with a door-to-door collector. elegran is right that there are strict rules about 'stationary' collecting. Knocking on someone's door is the equivalent of approaching them and rattling a tin at them outside a shop. It shouldn't be allowed.

I should have said being generous is not just about....

Door to door charities in our area became the same nuisance as cold callers and our local council supplied each household with front door stickers telling them they were not welcome. I have been involved with charities from staffing jumble sales and collecting in shopping malls but I would never invade someone's privacy by turning up at their door asking for money.

I wonder why people feel guilt when they say 'no'? The door to door collections I've been involved in have either been national or local campaigns, widely publicised, envelope through the door, someone will collect. I've also done my share of political door-stepping and handing out leaflets but somehow the impassioned harangue from the householder seems to be part of the process in that case!

elegran explains the reasons for the guilt people sometimes feel very well. No-one likes to say no to a request for a charitable donation because they think the collector will think badly of them. So not putting that guilt pressure onto people would be the best way forward, I think. It's not as if there are a lot of other ways to collect funds for charity, including online via social media nowadays, postal requests, etc.

not as if there aren't...

In short a face-to-face, personal request, however carefully said, is harder to turn down than other kinds. Charities (literally) cash in on this because they know that full well. I think that is not kind and not a charitable way to behave towards other people who may have multiple reasons not to want to support whichever charity, and shouldn't be made to feel defensive. Door-to-door collecting, by envelope or by collection tin does that and not to see that it does that seems insensitive to me.

It is uncharitable to be thus insensitive to others.

Very few charities knock on our door - anyone who has the determination to make their way out here deserves a donation!

However, I do take bag's point. Whilst charities need to advertise what they do, doorstepping people is not good - nor is sending out "gifts" which are trying to bribe/guilt you into making a donation.

When approached I always say that we have our specific charities that we support, and unfortunately it is not theirs.

They do see that it does that, and they incorporate the guilt into their collecting. Why else would they go to the trouble of walking around dark cold streets in the evenings when people are at home eating or sitting beside their fires? It is much easier to go en masse to a shopping mall or busy street, stand in likely places and holdout your can to the hundreds of people passing by.

If you confront people on their own doorstep, they give more. Why? Because they are a captive audience, who can't pretend that they have not seen you, and they are embarrassed to turn you away empty-handed.

So they are being shamed into giving and feel resentful. If all you want is one donation, for one charity, this one time, you have gained. If you want goodwill, and a donation for the next good cause, and for your own charity the next time, you will have to try harder the next time, and the next person calling (probably just a week later) will get the earful you have sown.

I used to deliver and collect envelopes for the National Children's Home when I was a little girl. With my Mum. It was a hard slog. Most people gave the envelope back with coins (or a folded note!) inside quite happily. A very few were grouchy. Some of them asked me if I was the little girl on the envelope.

I panic about having any ready money available when envelopes come through.

It was very interesting to catch a glimse of the insides of people's homes. It was a fairly well-to-do area. I remember the different smells, not anything unpleasant, and clocks ticking.

I keep a few pound coins handy near the front door, so that I don't have to go indoors for my purse, then find it is a choice between a twentypound note or thirty two pence and a shirt button.

I hope that post does not send any muggers round to push open my door and grab the coins stashed near it. For any potential muggers - I live in a flat in Lower Slaughter and my front door is the blue one with three locks, a chain and a CCTV camera.

Don't come looking for me anywhere else.

If you confront people on their own doorstep, in my experience, a lot of them give you an earful! Point I'm making. But perhaps I have a high threshold for people on the doorstep. I shouldn't have raised the subject, DH has just given a fistful of cash to a man who occasionally calls round and offers to do odd jobs. This time he had a story to tell.....

DOES BEING RELIGEOUS MAKE YOU MORE GENEROUS.

No it doesn't. Neither in generosity of spirit, giving or being considerate of other peoples feelings.

There is good and bad in everybody and only an egotistical narcissist 'knows' he/she is better, more generous than anybody else.

Generosity comes in many forms. There are people who do good deeds because they are perhaps a 'nicer' person than some but being religious is not requisite for being a doer/helper/fund raiser/carer etc.

Rubylady a lot of charities make it a rule not to support other charities. There are charities that do, and there are some who mainly support other, smaller charities. The fact that Christian Aid didn't agree to support your charity doesn't mean they are uncharitable.

I think it was me who said that, Lilygran, not Rubylady. I wasn't saying that Christian Aid were not uncharitable, and I would not have supported them in their Syrian Appeal if I thought they were. It was just that the small charity I support asked for their help in supplying much-needed goods to the refugee camps and they were refused. I do think that Christian Aid might have found the small sum needed, as both charities were aiming for the same thing, ie the alleviation of cold, lack of medicine and lack of school equipment for the children in the refugee camps. Is it Christian to work together towards helping people in need? I would have thought so.

PS They already had the goods they wished to send to the refugee camps, the small charity just asked for a minimal sum towards the transportation costs (and Christian Aid were probably sending in transport as well, but could not find the money or the room to help).

I don't believe for a moment that being religious makes you more generous, and I suspect that the OP referred to the Christian religion - am I right in this?

Personally, I give to charities that I can relate to - MSF because a friend of my daughter's worked for them and I know the work they do - Guide dogs for the blind because I taught a blind student and so on.

Anyone who comes knocking at my door with a begging bowl gets short shrift, I'm afraid.

Perhaps you should have read the link in the OP before making that assumption, vegasmags.

"Sikhs and Jews emerged as the most likely to share their worldly goods with a good cause, just ahead of Christians, Hindus and Muslims."

(a quote)