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Religion/spirituality

same sex marriage-in church

(305 Posts)
paddyann Mon 21-May-18 22:07:28

The Church f Scotland general Assembly voted today t allow same sex marriages in church .Is this "moving with the times" a way to increase attendances and membership of the church? Or a step to far .In my circle of friends are several gay couples who work in the church and for the church ,most have married but by regitrars and I knw they will be delighted that the church will at last bless their union.

Anniebach Fri 04-Jan-19 14:32:32

There are brothers and sisters in this country living together as man and wife, they love each other , do we accept this?

mumofmadboys Fri 04-Jan-19 14:29:29

Years ago divorcees were frowned upon and a cause of great shame to families. How times have changed! We need to treat people lovingly and with acceptance.

dizzyblonde Fri 04-Jan-19 13:41:35

You have displayed your ignorance and intolerance about human beings who are gay on this thread and cast slurs on my friends and family’s characters so I think we are probably even. I am very sad that you are happy to remain in such a state of mind.

mcem Fri 04-Jan-19 13:28:04

Well done dizzy!

EllanVannin Fri 04-Jan-19 13:22:23

I'm with Gabriella here so I'll refrain from posting on this thread.

GabriellaG54 Fri 04-Jan-19 13:11:04

You want me to change to your way of thinking? How about you changing to mine...or does it only work one way?
I object to your first sentence in which you insinuate that I'm ignorant, intolerant, don't treat people in the way I like to be treated and I'm not a decent human being.
I think you should be very careful what you infer. You don't know me.
I don't have to justify my views and you have no right to make unsubstantiated comments which are slurs on my character.
I'm off this thread.

dizzyblonde Fri 04-Jan-19 12:45:57

It’s not about being a sheep, it’s about not being ignorant, treating other people as you would like to be treated and being tolerant and a decent human being.
One is not minded to go that route, one is born with it. Many people have faked being heterosexual due to attitudes such as yours, often ending in breakdowns and suicide which is one of the reasons it is wrong.

mcem Fri 04-Jan-19 12:42:59

lemon I take your point but by being open about my family I am not forcing others to conform to my point of view - couldn't if I wanted to!
However I think most reasonable people don't see a family accepting a loving gay relationship as jumping on a bandwagon or being sheep.
I do not include you in that critical group.
However I do find that the utterly intolerant and homophobic comments from just one or two posters are unacceptable and should be challenged!

GabriellaG54 Fri 04-Jan-19 12:20:18

Let's just take it as read that I know my family. They may know people of persuasions other than heterosexual but none of them are minded to go that route and would be really shocked if I announced anything of the kind (no chance)
Why push it on others? Why does it have to be acceptable to accept it? I don't care what other people do but I reserve the right to think that sex with a person of the same sex is wrong. I also think that anal sex is wrong no matter who you are.
I'm not going to comment further as I'll never change my morals or my view.
It reminds me of sheep. One goes in a certain direction and the rest follow. Not me, only if I feel it's the right thing for me and my conscience.

dizzyblonde Fri 04-Jan-19 05:29:17

GabriellaG54 You do know that it all gay women are butch don’t you, in fact a large proportion are not. Equally not all gay men are camp/good cooks/well dressed.
If you have had any contact with healthcare/ emergency services/finance you have almost certainly had contact with gays of both sexes and that’s only three professions that I have personal knowledge of. You would probably not know if someone was gay unless they told you.
Equally not all gay men or women have penetrative sex, so many misconceptions abound.

BradfordLass72 Fri 04-Jan-19 04:36:32

Anthropologists tell us (but do we really need telling?) that since humans began there have been gay, lesbian, trans and diverse gender people.
It is not a modern trend but simply one we have ignored at best and castigated at worst.

If we'd always accepted that people are born with diverse sexual (or asexual) orientations, we wouldn't be even discussing this now.

I remember, in my youth, how illegitimacy was vilified, the poor baby, child and adult being victimised with not one whit of justification.
Now we accept it - just as we should accept this situation.

mumofmadboys Fri 04-Jan-19 04:09:53

10 % of people are gay. I would be very surprised if your GC were anti gay relationships GG. Most young people do not have any prejudice nowadays and are far more accepting than older people. How can love between two people be wrong? Heterosexual couples have anal sex( never seen appeal myself!) so what exactly do people see that is wrong with gay relationships? I expect there are a lot more gay people in your acquaintance than you realise GG and maybe over the next 10 years this will be more obvious. Most families have a gay person somewhere. Loving relationships in all there forms deserve celebration and recognition. I am a committed Christian

GabriellaG54 Fri 04-Jan-19 03:30:57

'Sadie' might have only been a cross-dresser or whatever. I don't know. Yes...been thinking of all the people I've actually and none were gay. I was taken to a bar in Tewksbury by a guy once and he smartly turned around and pushed me out when he saw the clientele was gays and butch women playing pool.

GabriellaG54 Fri 04-Jan-19 03:23:05

*discouraged

GabriellaG54 Fri 04-Jan-19 03:21:59

No, I wouldn't discouraged it at all MissAdventure.
I've met just two that I found out were gay when I booked into an hotel in Southport many years ago.
There was a very large oil painting in the hallway, it was their wedding photo on canvas.
I found them to be delightful. The attention to detail in the property was noticeable but they weren't 'Graham Norton' style camp and they were good cooks.
That's the only time I met anyone who...actually, no.
When I was a student nurse around the age of 18, friends and I used to go into a pub known locally as The Big House but in reality, it was called The Vines. A couple of doors down was a bar called The American Bar.
The manager/barman in the Big House was called Sadie but dressed in guys clothes and had 'dirty' blonde hair to his shoulders. He often gad a bruise low down on his back which was noticeable when he bent to put the bottles in the crates. I was innocent of what friends said as to how he got the marks but was told that on his breaks he changed into a cocktail type dress and make-up to drink at the American Bar where lots of sailors went.
So...they remain my only real-life gay contacts.

MissAdventure Fri 04-Jan-19 01:04:53

Would you discourage it if a gay person wanted to befriend you, Gabriella?
Or is it just that you've never happened to come into contact with a gay person?

GabriellaG54 Fri 04-Jan-19 00:55:16

I think that lionesses views were much much more vociferous than mine. I'm allowed to have my opinion just as others are allowed theirs.
I'm certainly not against love, but love for a close friend of the same sex is, IMO, a leap and a jump (in other words) a mile away from an intimate relationship and not one I can accept into my morals.
None of my AC or GC are gay or show any tendencies in that direction. If I myself announced anything of the sort, they would be totally shocked and 10-1 disown me. You are who you are and it's the way I've been brought up, my wider family, the company I have kept, colleagues I've worked with and friends I've known for decades. Is that my fault? Should I try to befriend a couple so I can proudly say I have friends who are gay? It's not a badge to be worn by association and anyone who isn't in the club should not be called out for having a different opinion.
Would anyone call the Pope out on the subject?

Nelliemoser Thu 03-Jan-19 22:43:23

If you regard your God as a loving God then why would he
make the lives of some of his devotees miserable and lonely by denying his followers from having the experience of having a loving relationship as in mariage.
Answers on a postcard please.

Vickixx Thu 03-Jan-19 22:42:20

Words & spoken words are words Annie. We can cleave to who we choose & those concerned may FEEL like wives & then again what exactly is a wife. It’s at This I will depart ❤️

Vickixx Thu 03-Jan-19 22:37:37

Of course this is an analogy. We are all born as the people we are born to be. Where love is concerned between two consenting adults, as long as it causes no harm to those concerned, nor anyone else, who has the right to judge. I love every single one of my family & unless they caused trouble (which at first I would endeavour to help) I would be there for them, straight & gay alike.

Anniebach Thu 03-Jan-19 22:35:30

PECS, sorry but Christ did speak of marriage -

“God made Male and female, therefore a man shall leave his mother and fsther and cleave to his wife “

Vickixx Thu 03-Jan-19 22:22:25

This may sound derogatory to gay people & I can assure you it’s not meant having a few of that gene pull in both my DH & my side of family. I am going to use an analogy. Those who oppose it, I would pose the question. If you gave birth to high functioning children with Down’s syndrome & they fell in love with people of the same sex with the same condition,would you pull the carpet from under their feet and tell them that’s wrong if they dared to fall in love with the same sex. I don’t think so & neither would I. ❤️

PECS Thu 03-Jan-19 22:21:48

Paul never knew Jesus... he just promoted the things he believed in under a Jesus umbrella in his copious letters!

PECS Thu 03-Jan-19 22:19:02

Gabriella if people have family or friends who are gay that is not being with the " in crowd" ..it is being part of normal society.

PECS Thu 03-Jan-19 22:15:09

If a couple have a religious faith and want their relationship recognised formally by their faith group then it should not matter if it is,a,same sex couple
Churches marry couples with no active faith connection to church so it seems odd not to marry those who have faith.