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Religion/spirituality

Getting out of a cult

(22 Posts)
MarieEliza Fri 17-Jan-20 19:38:07

My daughter has a friend who is aged 40 and a mother of two. Due to a violent relationship she divorced and moved away with the children. She has recently joined a religious cult which is very extreme and gives instruction on diet, bed times and reincarnation to an extreme level. The children are sad and undernourished and are not allowed to play games or sport. My daughter feels the mother is brainwashed and almost hypnotised. Should she get in touch with child protection agencies? The father of the children is trying to get them out too. This cult is not in the UK

Hetty58 Fri 17-Jan-20 19:40:02

Yes, the children are suffering so child protection should be alerted asap!

GagaJo Fri 17-Jan-20 19:58:07

Yes. Get help. Those poor children.

MarieEliza Fri 17-Jan-20 20:11:58

The only problem is my daughter does not want to lose this lady as a friend so she is wondering if she can contact the authorities anonymously

TrendyNannie6 Fri 17-Jan-20 20:16:30

Definately get help

Elegran Fri 17-Jan-20 20:26:22

Yes, she can contact the authorities anonymously. The friend may be able to guess that it was her, though.

MarieEliza Fri 17-Jan-20 20:29:52

The sad thing is when my daughter questioned some of the crazy cult ideas she smiled and said my daughter wasn’t enlightened enough to understand. The friend had a top degree, I am baffled that someone with such intelligence could fall for such an odd cult

Smileless2012 Sun 26-Jan-20 01:33:29

The effectiveness of brainwashing should never be underestimated MarieEliza.

Leaving a violent marriage would have been draining physically, mentally and emotionally. She most probably would have been vulnerable and just the sort of person that cult members/recruiters are trained to spot.

Bad enough if it was just your D's friend but her children are also involved and contacting the authorities needs to be done asap.

sodapop Sun 26-Jan-20 08:44:54

Unfortunately cults pull people in when they are at their most vulnerable. Your daughter's friend has left an abusive relationship and the cult offers security, nothing to do with intelligence I don't think.
Just seen that Smileless has said much the same thing. Your daughter needs to let the authorities know the children may be at risk emotionally if not physically. Friendship does not mean agreeing with ever thing a friend does.

Missfoodlove Sun 26-Jan-20 09:12:23

MarieEliza, the cults are clever, they spot the emotionally weak then lure them in.
She will have been truly brainwashed by now.
There are helplines run by people that have escaped these cults.
Any clumsy attempts will push here further into their clutches.
Approach this carefully

Missfoodlove Sun 26-Jan-20 09:14:11

cultinformation.org.uk/mobile/
Here’s a link

Chestnut Sun 26-Jan-20 09:51:29

Can she work with and support the father? They need to know what each are doing and he may need support from others. I expect he's very worried about his children.

Nannarose Sun 26-Jan-20 10:47:40

This post raises a lot of questions.
Who, with any legitimate concern about the children, is in the UK?
Who has observed at first hand the issues raising concern?
Who has parental responsibility and where are they based, or citizens of? And is the father the one who was violent?
Are the children UK citizens / dual nationals?
Can the child protection agencies of the relevant countries be alerted?
Social Services here (UK) may be able to help, depending on a lot of factors. It would definitely help if the answers to those questions are at hand.

Horrible situation for you all, I hope you can find something helpful to do.

M0nica Mon 27-Jan-20 07:55:50

Cults are sophisticated in their methods of luring people in. They offer love, support and comfort to those who like this lady have come to them badly bruised by life and then gradually devour them.

You say that this cult controls food intake and sleep, this is worrying as this generally means quietly starving the member of food and sleep, the physical effects of a regime of this kind affects the persons mind and keeps them compliant, obedient, and passive.

It is very worrying if the children are subject to this regime as it can do permanent damage to their brains and retard normal development.

If there is anyway of reporting what has happened to the relevant authorities it should be done.

Marydoll Mon 27-Jan-20 09:04:10

The priority is the wellbeing of the children, your daughter should report immediately, even if it risks the friendship.
Your daughter, if she lives in the UK, has these options to report her concerns.

She can contact:
The local authority child protection team – even outside normal office hours

The police – call 999 in an emergency or otherwise 101
The Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP). This is the UK’s national police agency for dealing with child protection, particularly online abuse.

Other agencies which come into contact with children, for example, the child’s school, GP or youth worker.
The children's school will no doubt have noticed how sad the children are, but don't have enough information to involve social services. Your daughter can help to complete the picture and the school can alert the appropriate authorities.

The longer she leaves it, the more lasting emotional and physical damage done to these children. I have worked with children in similar circumstances, it breaks my heart to read this.

Once the children are safe, your daughter can then focus on supporting her friend.

BlueBelle Mon 27-Jan-20 09:34:41

When you say this cult is not in U.K. do you mean the cult and the mum and kids are not in U.K. or do you mean the cult headquarters are not in U.K. ?
Does your daughters friend live in a commune or is she in her own home following instructions The former would be much more worrying than the latter
Can your daughter get some information through Google as to what the aims and regulations of this organisation are ?
Cults certainly can brainwashed and I ve seen it myself within 24 hours someone I know was hooked in and threw everything of their old life away

Witzend Mon 27-Jan-20 09:50:21

I do know of someone who finally broke free from a cult (not in the U.K.) but he’d been in its clutches for many years.
OP, I do hope the authorities in the country are able to act with regard to the children, at least.

Shortly before they left school, my dds were given an extremely hard-hitting lecture on the dangers of cults, which often prey upon new university students who may be unhappy, lonely and homesick, and/or worried about their studies.

It was strongly emphasised how dangerous it was even to go along to any introductory session ‘just for a laugh’, since the psychological tactics they use are so powerful.

GrandmaJan Mon 27-Jan-20 09:51:26

Your daughter isn’t in the UK so getting help for the children depends on which country they currently live in. When I worked in CP (Health) Social Care would have arrangements with EU countries but it takes time. France for instance are excellent for following up concerns expressed in the UK. The first port of call is Social Care in the UK.

GrandmaJan Mon 27-Jan-20 09:52:29

Sorry it’s not your daughter...apologies

grandtanteJE65 Mon 02-Mar-20 17:46:34

Yes, certainly involve the child protection authorities and I assume you can do so anonymously.

These children are suffering from neglect by the sound of things, so act quickly.

Can their father sue for custody?

Oopsadaisy3 Mon 02-Mar-20 17:58:35

If this in the US the authorities won’t get involved.

Cults in many countries have a religious standing and it’s very difficult for the Police to get involved

tickingbird Mon 02-Mar-20 18:11:33

I have read about cults a lot and watched documentaries and the children always suffer. It’s dreadful.