Struggling with Church.

If you’re worried about being shanghaied back, tell the elder that you need space at the moment and would prefer not to meet her - yet - that you’ll arrange a meeting when you’ve sorted your head out.
Having said that, I feel very sad for you to have lost your faith and hope you find peace in whatever you choose.
Good luck.

I do think it is sad that so many religions contain within them the sense of guilt - it pervades so many. I am guessing it relates to the way that religions have been used as tools of the powerful.

You have made your decision and I can see that you fear a meeting with the "elder" might guilt you into a change of mind. If you like this person, then a meeting where religion is off the table might work; but only if you WANT to meet - you are under no obligation.

There are so many unknowns in this world and we all have to find our own way of dealing with them. For some it is religion, for others it is not. You are a grown adult and free to make your own choices. But I do understand that a religion that has been ingrained from birth and during childhood is hard to shift.

Good luck with your new path in life.

Having doubts and questioning aspects of your belief is very different from knowing that religion is simply not for you though.

A friend (a respected rev.) once told me that having doubts is almost obligatory in the C of E. Goes with the territory as they say!

I agree with vampirequeen - meet them for coffee (providing you like them enough to spend time with them one to one) but make it clear that you’re happy with your decision and will be meeting them as a friend, not as members of the church, and any talk of religion is off the table.

Non religious people must be free to find belief - and people who have previously had a faith must be free to decide that they no longer believe. Religion is something that should be entered into and left willingly, freely and without guilt and no-one has the right to try and influence you one way or the other.

You've thought long and hard about it and made your decision. Tell the elder you'll happily meet him/her for coffee (if you want to) but will not be discussing religion in any shape or form. If the elder wants to see you out of friendship he/she will be happy with that. If not, then don't go for coffee.

It's up to you. If you don't want to meet the elder for coffee, I don't see you are obliged to do so.

However, if the elder is a nice and non-pushy person, it might be nice to see him/her for coffee - perhaps he/she is worried they've done something to upset you.

London if you have put a lot of thought into this, it is your decision. Is it your Church in particular (we don’t have elders in my Church) or religion full stop? I imagine if you have been a regular attender at your church then perhaps they want to find out if there is anything they can do to help or support you. I am a little surprised you don’t want to meet. Are you worried you will be made to feel guilty or that you don’t want to give your reasons for leaving? At the end of the day it is your choice. I Hope your decision is the right one for you. Listen to your own heart. Richard Dawkins is only an opinion, there are many others. I wish you well.