Always One?

I changed churches after many years because the new Baptist Pastor was very judgemental telling people what to wear to church (not me, personally) and telling us off for chatting before the service even though some were lonely people and needed that support (!). Now I am very happy at a Presbyterian Church even though we are not allowed to meet in person and have to do everything online. Gradually people are leaving my old church for similar reasons which I find very sad because their heart is in the right place I think. I loved the old traditional hymns and the KJV but am getting used to the guitars and modern hymns and the NIV isn't too bad really.

Vetrep

How is she so powerful?

Interesting assumption, that “they” is female.

Seems to me that the vicar has a boss above him. Go there with complaints. And I dont mean God. Or maybe several of you invite her to an intervention like they do in America, to unearth why she behaves like this. Could be religious fervour. Been on receiving end of religious fervour, and told the devil resides in me as I dont go to church!

Sorry not to reply for so long, we had visitors and have been visiting.
We moved here 5 years ago and it seems this woman has created lots of misery over the years, more than I ever thought possible. Loads of people know what should be done, myself included, but the resulting fallout is not worth it, especially at this time (with COVID 19 and lots of very stressed, lonely older people).
It is disappointing that our current Church leader feels unwilling and unable to say something to her. I think it would cause more harm to criticise her actions than it has done to say "No" to me (and others).
I've always liked the Gospel of St.Matthew, especially the end of chapter 5 "Love for Enemies", verse 46 hits the spot!
Thank you for your replies and advice - you have helped me to get over this.

Corryanna, you say that this person tells lies and makes up stories about people. They need to be called out on this as this is definitely NOT Christian behaviour. Evidence of the lies also needs to be presented to your vicar who frankly needs to get some cojones.

I agree with Teetime - contact the Bishop. Your vicar is letting his entire congregation down (including the bully) either out of laziness or through being intimidated themselves

also when she starts arguing ,just stand there and imagine her naked ,that will make you either cringe or smirk. mine is to smile /smirk then she will wonder why. dont give in to her bullying you ,stand firm and united with friends.if you are happy in your church then stay ....vicar needs some counselling if he cant sort it out ,he cant just let things roll.maybe a rota could be got up as to who puts the things on the notice board...

well tell the vicar you want in on the next commitee meeting ...maybe she can attend a meeting run by you ladies and let her air her views there.but really it up to your vicar to calm troubled waters .maybe this lady has mental health problems.try praying to. maybe she wants a friend.if i had a problem with someone in my church i would tell my pastor/.vicar.....its not a good idea moving away from the church you like .this needs to be sorted....

Lots on here have said leave the church and move elsewhere but then bullies are left to thrive and upset others in the original church. The bullies should be stood up to. Sometimes they actually do not even realise how bad they are. And look at Gordon Ramsay. He was treated badly by his father and you can see how he then mimicked that behaviour with his kitchen staff, etc.

What is known about this woman, she is a member of the
Church community in a village, does she have family, friends,
does she upset her neighbours?

Could this be a safe guarding issue??? If she is bullying vulnerable people then i think it is. Someone may know the answer. If it is the it certainly needs to be taken higher. She is defo bullying the Vicar by the sounds of it and if he is not strong enough to deal with her then someone with more authority may be able to sort it all out and even offer him more support.

Find another church ... some things you can’t change.

Write to the vicar, setting out your concerns and demonstrating that they are shared by others, and copy it to the bishop. Nothing like letting the boss know what’s going on.

Leave, cut them loose, not worth the hassle, keep your sanity

If she shouts at people just calmly say to her ‘ Stop, now. Do you realise you are being a bully and I am going to have to report you to the PCC if you do not change your ways. And please do not remove anyone’s notices from the notice board or this will be reported too. You are meant to be a Christian so start behaving like one please ‘.

Sound s as if she has a personality disorder and will carry on behaving like this regardless of what measures you take. These people are very difficult to deal or cope with and reap havoc wherever they go. I am not a church goer but would consider putting in a complaint if thats possible? The vicar sounds gutless tbh!

As a practising Christian l am very sorry to hear that you are going through these difficulties. I agree with many of the previous suggestions about going to the PCC and getting together with others and writing to the vicar and bishop. Ultimately, though, l think you might find that changing churches might be the best path in the long run. After all, if you were in any form of difficulty would you feel comfortable confiding in the vicar after this experience?

Is this individual male or female ?? Have you and others made a formal written complaint to your vicars superior ?? If not then it’s essential that you do .... I would state that they frighten and intimidate you and then tell them that if it happens again you’ll report them to the police !! It may be in church that they are currently intimidating you but if they spoke to you like that in the street would you tolerate it ... I think not ! You have to stand up to bullies !!!

Time the vicar asked the bully to return the key to the notice board to him

Could you possibly just tolerate her, as long as she does not hit anyone or slash their tyres, or slander other people?

Maybe it's the vicar that needs to go.

I am in charge of the church notice boards, but of course others are welcome to stick their stuff there too. Having said that, if this idiot insists on removing your notices, find somewhere else for them - a shop, the church bulletin boards, the sub-post office... and also, the Vicar must know that unless he puts his foot down, the whole lot of you may even stop going to this church, and move en messe to the next one. I think she needs the feeling of power, because she has issues, though - it is not normal to shout in people's faces.

I would just smile and ignore. You get difficult people in all walks of life.

Sorry you have to deal with this.

I suggest you film one or more of her outbursts and send to Bishop

Sounds as if there are many others, apart from you, who are fed up with is woman - she is only one, although she seems to have the ear of the vicar & other officers. If you ALL threatened to leave, &/or notify to the higher authorities that you were thinking of doing so, & why = I wonder what would happen.....