Any experience of cults or strict churches ?

JackyB

You don't actually say whether you enjoyed reading it. I would also recommend "Educated" by Tara Westover who went through a similar experience. She shows that there is a way out, but her description of her childhood does have some horrific moments. Not an easy book to read, but I did stick with it and much of it has remained with me.

I read this as well it is fascinating. Her mother now runs an alternative medicine provider in the US. Having read how Tara had to pass bottles through her circled fingers so many times to empower them I do wonder what they do? butterflyexpressions.org/welcome
Her mother denies Tara's story is true.

I used to know a Seventh day Adventist family. They were lovely people, kind and very humble. They had adopted a young person with many problems and disabilities and they gave everything they had to make her happy. In contrast our old next door neighbours were JWs, very closed and one of them later got into trouble for molesting young people. Ugh, put me right off them.

I used to teach in a college run by Seventh Day Adventists ( not a cult but given a bad name by the David Koresh -Waco episode)and it was one of the happiest times of my career. Their interpretation of the Bible is literal in that they worship on the Sabbath (Saturday)and expect/hope for an imminent second coming.Also they are mainly vegetarian and don’t drink alcohol or coffee. They can tithe their salary ( not compulsory) and they follow the teachings of Ellen White but otherwise their beliefs are similar to mainstream Protestant Christianity.
The staff and students I encountered were tolerant and friendly. They had come from all over the world to study English and Theology and the atmosphere pervading the College was second to none. It was calm and peaceful,set in beautiful gardens and conducive to experiences of the spirit. As an outsider I learnt a lot.

I belonged to a cult for a few years and when I left they never spoke to me again or acknowledged me if we passed in the street. They used to have parties where they invited outsiders and were very friendly and lovely but sooner or later they would start putting their strong views across. They didn’t like to call themselves Christians and they had very strange ‘church’ services with the leader randomly talking about the New Testament and very tuneless ‘hymns’ written by one of the members and sung by another. After I left I attended a mainstream baptist church and what a relief that was.

Many years ago my teenage brother invited 2 JW into our house, he then couldn’t get rid of them. When my father, a devout Catholic, came home my brother was upset as these people had been in the house hours. It ended with my father chasing them down the street shouting at them.
With regards to Plymouth Brethren I worked with two sisters in a bank, everyone had to sign a secrecy document but these two girls wouldn’t as it was against religion. They were lovely girls but could never join in conversations about TV, music, makeup or popular culture. They both left when they married I know one sister was upset about this as she wanted to continue working.

We had regular visits from JWs, who were always told that I’m CofE, husband Catholic. Nevertheless very difficult to get rid of until we got German shepherds! Not one visit since!

Many years ago a couple of JWs rang my Aunt and Uncle’s doorbell. My U told them that they weren’t interested because he didn’t believe in anything and my A was a devout C of E, but the JWs continued chatting.

My A went to the door and invited them in for a cup of tea. The JWs were politely told that they were welcome, but no preaching!

After that, for many years, the JWs called regularly for tea, cake and a chat, as they enjoyed it so much. Of course, it was also welcome company for my A and U!

I would add that the church that my A had attended for over forty years and to which she had been a very generous donor did b****r all for her when she was housebound! Not even a phone call to enquire how she was as they hadn’t seen her lately! ?

I agree with all of the above but have to chip in about two unrelated former clients of mine. Both were members of a Jehovah's Witness church and were very happy in it. The structure gave them good support in life and a social circle neither would otherwise have. I was surprised but could see that the life and lifestyle suited them very well.
It takes all sorts!

As a primary school governor, I was told about JW children who were not allowed to join in sporting activities and were forbidden to use computers. Once, long ago, as a council candidate, I canvassed a JW resident and was told, very politely, that they didn't vote or take part in any political activities, so I asked him to pray for me. I later found that he did vote! Sadly, I was defeated.

I had a client who was JW - a young woman who went blind. Her parents converted when she was about 6, and soon after she lost her sight. She spoke of one of her happiest memories before going blind, which was a sparkling Christmas tree in her living room - she treasured that memory, because after that no celebration of Christmas.

Also had a JW pupil (although of course not her choice) in a school where I taught singing - she was not allowed to join in in case any of the songs mentioned god. She was the most musical child in the school and missed out on the shared music-making.

All blooming pernicious nonsense.

Just to add, give me the good old C of E (‘Tea and cakes or death!’) any day!

It wasn’t exactly a cult, but a so-called ‘church’, experienced while very briefly in the US years ago.

On the TV the church leader was urging people to give now! - in order to be prayed for - info was constantly moving at the bottom of the screen, and he was saying e.g. that so and so from X had just been cured of cancer! (As a result of paying to be prayed for).

It was horrifying and fascinating in roughly equal measures.

Of course we were not remotely surprised to read some years later that the Beloved Leader and his equally complicit wife IIRC were complete frauds, who’d made $$$$$$$ out of it and were IIRC dealt with accordingly.

I worked with a Jehovah's Witness and they are definitely a cult with strange ideas.

The authors Jeanette Winterton and Bernard Cornwell both grew up in strange cults and have written about this.

My birth mother came from a family of Plymouth Brethren and was quite naive. She never told her family she had a child even though she lived with her brother towards the end of her life.

I lived near a small town where there were a lot of Plymouth Brethren. The women all wore quite long blue skirts and blue headscarves and didn’t seem to go out on their own, always at least two together. One man ‘preached’ outside the shops once a week. They didn’t mix with the locals at all. It gave the appearance of a pretty spartan and joyless existence, by our standards.

I went to a Plymouth Brethren Sunday School but they were not especially strict, except for the role of women in church and the use of Sunday. Nobody dictated to individuals and everyone was very open, kind and friendly. It is what is known as Open Brethren.
I had a school friend whose family all belonged to the Exclusive Brethren, but they left when she was about 13. She told me quite a bit about their strict rules, and how if teenage/ adult children do not follow the faith, they have to eat separately. No television of course, and this was way before computers, but I can well believe that their use would be restricted to business purposes.

I'm wary of anyone belonging to what is considered a cult, or even 'ordained' mainstream religion. In general, that is - obviously you speak as you find.

As an independent human being I don't want to be told what I can or cannot do in life, what I can or cannot study (or, even if I can study), that I can only use technology for certain purposes, and live life within limiting, strict confines.

Also, women often don't fare well under some cults and religions. Especially those where the menfolk make the decisions about a woman's role...

Having said that, one of my best friends was the local vicar and his wife. Both outgoing, progressive - very caring, kind and considerate individuals with an encompassing love for the whole of humankind. What's not to like!

But, in general... hmm.

My only real experience with a cult was meeting a Jehovah's Witness ( some say JWs are not a cult, I beg to differ) who together with her husband, ran the local newsagents. Her husband suffered ill-health and she ran the shop frequently. She would not sell cigarettes to anyone (that's before we know what we now know about smoking) although the shop was licensed to sell tobacco. The same would have applied to alcohol had they a license. But she lived off the proceeds when the goods were sold by her husband. He told me that she attempted to cut him off from his family and friends - he was a model-railway enthusiast and she tried to stop his friends and fellow enthusiasts from meeting him, both in the home and elsewhere. He sunk into depression - noticeably - and would confide in some of his customers like me who'd known him for years. He was too emotionally weak and mentally beaten down to think about divorce. One day, she knocked on my door (along with other's) to say he'd died and that she would be selling-up and moving away (she had frequently called along our street as a JW advocate and got to "know" us individually).

Nothing really horrendous about this, but a very sad story.

Probably their parents.

So that implies that say Pl B youngsters have computers or phones for school work, someone must be monitoring their usage at all other times?

I know several Plymouth Brethren families, they are far more widespread than you think, some are strict, some are so relaxed that it’s difficult to tell.
Usually they don’t socialize with others and don’t work on Sundays. One of their customs is that they use computers, phones and technology for business purposes only. For personal use never, or TV and radio.

JackyB

You don't actually say whether you enjoyed reading it. I would also recommend "Educated" by Tara Westover who went through a similar experience. She shows that there is a way out, but her description of her childhood does have some horrific moments. Not an easy book to read, but I did stick with it and much of it has remained with me.

I really enjoyed the book it is called " In The Days of Rain " by Rebecca Stott .

I thought Plymouth Brethren weren't allowed to go to university?

The daughter of one of my parent's friends became a Scientologist back in the 1960s.

She did surprisingly, becoming 'staff member', marrying a colleague and the last I heard was in California in a senior position in the world movement and doing rather well.

I know someone who was brought up in the Plymouth Brethren. From what I’ve gathered it was a pretty grim and joyless time - super-strict parents, etc.
It would seem from what I know of the family that the experience has put the several now adult children off having children of their own.

Shortly before leaving school, dds were given a very hard hitting talk about cults, since a favourite recruiting ground is apparently universities. New first year students who may be homesick/lonely/finding it hard to make friends, or worried about their work, are evidently fruits ripe for the picking.

Dds were warned very explicitly never to go along to any cult’s ‘friendly’ introductory session, ‘just for a laugh’, because the psychological stratagems they use are very cleverly designed to reel sceptics in.
Scary stuff!

JackyB

You don't actually say whether you enjoyed reading it. I would also recommend "Educated" by Tara Westover who went through a similar experience. She shows that there is a way out, but her description of her childhood does have some horrific moments. Not an easy book to read, but I did stick with it and much of it has remained with me.

You've whetted my appetite - I think I shall have to read this book.

She didn't enter a classroom until she was 17! Unbelievable!

A family, so isolated from the mainstream, living in the mountains of Idaho. It makes you wonder how it's possible in a first world country - it bears more resemblance to those lost tribes sometimes found in the depths of the Amazon who have no contact with the outside world.

Frightening.