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Scams and fraud

My best scammer wind up to date.

(133 Posts)
vampirequeen Wed 07-Apr-21 12:45:38

Not the longest I've ever kept one on the phone but I definitely left this one confused and, fingers crossed, heading for Google.

17 mins on the phone with a cold caller/scammer explaining that I don't need life insurance because I'm immortal. She asked how old I was. I said about 4000 in Earth years. She started to ask me how, what I did etc. I told her I was a Watcher. She asked if it was a religion. I said no it is my job to watch the development of the human race. She wanted to know how many of us there were in the UK. I said around 110. She asked if there were watchers in every country. I said of course. We have to watch all over the world if we are to see how the human race develops. She asked if we met up. I told her that we didn't meet up. So she asked if we communicated and shared data. I said of course we did that in order to file our reports. She wanted to know what I looked like if I was 4000 years old. I said that I looked like a normal middle aged woman. I couldn't be in my normal form or I wouldn't fit in. She said she thought that maybe....yes only maybe lol...I was having her on and if I was real where did I come from. I told her from a planet in orbit around the star Sirius. If she googles it she'll find loads of information about ancient aliens from that star and watchers so she still won't know for sure ???????

Caramac Mon 12-Apr-21 13:18:23

Love it VQ ??, I’m rather boring and just say ‘No. Thank you. Bye’.
I need to up my game ?

GillT57 Mon 12-Apr-21 13:07:59

Irritating though they are, we must remember there is a difference between some poor soul trying to earn a living making appointments for insulation or replacement windows, and scammers who are criminals!

madmum38 Mon 12-Apr-21 12:50:49

My son had an email one over the Easter weekend, kept arriving so he sent one back saying thank you for subscribing to daily prayer then going onto say how much it would be costing them for each prayer, he has sent back a few prayers and got some unsubscribe messages back.

My brother was at work and had a call about replacement windows, he said he was glad they called as his needed doing, kept him on the phone for quite a while,he was on lunch break, in the end the salesman asked the address so he could go and measure, my brother gave him the address of the prison he worked at, line went dead

Silverlady333 Sun 11-Apr-21 11:33:40

I had a call from an Indian person calling about my car accident. I answered 'Oh you mean the one I had with Noddy and Big ears? I strung her along for quite a while telling her Mr Plod the policeman had taken all the details. she clearly hadn't got a clue what I as talking about but I had a bit of fun!

effalump Sun 11-Apr-21 10:55:31

I loved the opening post. Even though you probably wonder how scammers sleep at night, this really could be someone who in desperation to earn enough to put food on the table had to take the job. Your chit-chat probably gave her the one moment in that day where she could actually relax and I'm sure she knew you weren't really an alien. I once took a job in a call centre and it very nearly pushed me over the edge. I refused ever to do it again. My nerves couldn't cope at all.

RubyGran Sun 11-Apr-21 10:30:43

Sadly not my own reply, but I recently heard one which has become one of my favourites, it's the response to a caller who said they were phoning regarding a (non-existent) car accident:
In a spooky voice, "Yes, I was involved. I died." Needless to say the caller rang off immediately!

Shropshirelass Sun 11-Apr-21 10:08:40

Brilliant, might try that next time.

Katie59 Sun 11-Apr-21 08:19:19

I tried that but I’m far too soft, it was a very pleasant Indian lady I was called by, after about 5 mins she said you are not going to buy anything are you, no I said. Then for some reason I said where are you calling from, Bangalore which apparently is the call center capital of India, we spent a pleasant 10 mins chatting about country, family and the way we both live. I think she was probably a supervisor most agents would not be allowed to chat like that.

Nanananana1 Sun 11-Apr-21 00:10:11

I once answered the phone in what must have been a rather pathetic voice, probably tired. The cold caller said: hello, is your Mummy or Daddy there? I had a lovely long conversation with them about how I was at home all alone and I thought they'd gone on holiday. They rang off

Loz500 Sat 10-Apr-21 22:32:38

I absolutely love winding them up too, sometimes I shout ‘mummy I think this lady wants your bank details again, !!’ Or I’ll say excuse me how have you obtained this number this is a homicide case and I’m going to have to ask you for your name & phone number !! Both times the phone goes dead immediately. It depends how busy I am whether I play along or not.

Flakesdayout Sat 10-Apr-21 21:54:50

Thank you for the laughs along the way. I have had several of these calls and do respond accordingly. The accident one is me asking which one they are referring to, my washing machine guarantee is when I ask which washing machine they mean. One call I pretended I was the cleaner, I went on in my doddery voice that 'she' the home owner had gone out to get bread and left me with all the washing up, the ironing and I went on a rant about how badly I was treated by 'her' and that she didnt care about my feelings. I could hear muffled laughter at the other end so I suggested that I get my lady to call them back or perhaps they call again. They didnt.
I now have many more ideas for my next round of calls, so thank you.

Amberone Sat 10-Apr-21 21:22:17

PennyWhistle Jim Browning is an absolute star and I thank heaven he is on the side of the angels. Imagine the havoc people with his skills could wreak if he was a scammer!

Savvy Sat 10-Apr-21 20:38:45

One morning, half asleep in had a call from a number I didn't recognise, terrible line, silent call, all the hallmarks of dodgy.

I called them a few choice words along the lines of what I thought about them and hung up. A few seconds later it rang again, same number - it was my chiropodist!

magshard20 Sat 10-Apr-21 20:02:43

I usually just pick up phone, keep silent if it's a scam call they usually hang up, but if its a recorded message I start talking when they have made a comment ie, we have noticed that a withdrawal of £600 has distantly been made from your account. My response (talking to a robot voice), wow I don't have £60 never mind £600 in my account. The other one I get a lot is "this us amazon, we are taking £79.99 out of your bank for your prime access" don't have amazon prime, nor do I wont it at that price!! We have this year bought a new landline phone with call blocker, I reckon we have more blocked numbers on it than bone fide friends and relations numbers.

Mistyfluff8 Sat 10-Apr-21 20:01:48

Had a scam say message on answerphone (but no number)press1to hear message non .Friend had phone call supposedly Bank of England transferred 18 times to Nigeria she was really frightened that they had taken all her money she reported it we told her it was a horrible scam

Harmonypuss Sat 10-Apr-21 18:34:23

I'm loving all these scamming the scammer stories.

Last year I got a call about my 'recent car accident'.
Knowing this was a scam, I was bored and had plenty of time on my hands, so I proceeded to tell them all about the accident I'd had right outside my front door with a police car (true story).
I was asked whether I'd had any passengers...yes, was anyone hurt... yes, did the other driver acknowledge responsibility... yes, the more times I gave them extra ammunition to throw at the person whose fault the accident was (the police officer, yes, still true) the more excited the caller appeared to get.
Then after almost 45 minutes we got to the crux of the matter...
How many months ago was this accident?
Oooh, well, that would be.... 11 x 12 is 132, it was July and it's now November, so that's (counts on fingers...) August, September, October, November, 4, so that would be 132 + 4.... 136.
Pardon?
136 months
What?
You asked how many months ago the accident happened
Yes?
Well, it was July 2009, so that's 11 years and 4 months ago, so that's 136 months!
She swore at me and said she'd be reporting me for wasting her time (who to, I'd love to know), then slammed the phone down on me.

That was the most fun I've ever had with one of these scammers but I've taken some notes from all the stories I've read here and will give them a go with future calls!

scourw Sat 10-Apr-21 18:14:41

We had a spate of "accident" claim calls and had a few ideas for how to deal with them but, just off the cuff, my husband won , hands down. He managed to sound really old and doddery and strung them along before finally "admitting" he'd had an accident ten minutes ago because the carer was late that day...... stunned silence, then a dialling tone

CraftyGranny Sat 10-Apr-21 18:08:11

I had one yesterday, from Albert, with a very heavy Indian accent. He wanted to know if I had been troubled with scam callers. I said yes. He asked when was the last time I had received one of these calls. I said Well just now actually from you - then hung up.

How stupid do they think we are!

jenni123 Sat 10-Apr-21 17:52:03

I had a scam call, most times I just hang up or sometimes use a rude word, this time I didn't.. He said 'Hello', I replied (in what I call my old lady voice, sort of doddery sounding ) 'Hello, are you my friend'?, He said 'Oh erm No,' then I let him carry on with his script for a few seconds, then I said 'I had an egg for my breakfast', he said 'what', I repeated 'I had an egg for my breakfast', he said OK', once again I let him carry on for a min, then I said quite loudly 'OOOH I've wet myself', he hung up and has never called back, I wonder why, lol

starstella Sat 10-Apr-21 17:41:57

NEW SCAM ALERT

I AM A MEMBER OF MARTIN LEWIS'S SITE I HAVE HAD 2 EMAILS WHICH LOOKED GENUINE ABOUT BIT COIN.THANKFULLY I CHECKED MARTINS SITE TO SEE IF HE WAS TALKING ABOUT IT.HE WASN'T.I LOOKED MORE CAREFULLY AND NOTICED LEWIS WAS SPELT A LOWER CASE l.I HAVE SENT THE EMAIL TO THEM.I HOPE THEY WARN THEIR MEMBERS

NannanTo4 Sat 10-Apr-21 17:07:16

Caller - about the car accident you had recently
Me - oh yes The car accident
Excited caller - oh yes, and it wasn’t your fault?
Me - oh dear, but it was all my own fault. I should have been looking where I was going but I couldn’t find anywhere to put my vodka while I lit my fag. Never having driven a hi spec Subaru before didn’t help. I knew I should have gone for the Ford escort but the Subaru had the keys in. No need to hot wire. I know I’m looking at more time in jail ......

I have used other versions of this. No licence, banned from driving, just out of prison. Driving with handcuffs on. Most importantly - it was my fault

Some ask if I know who’s car it was, did I have a passenger, am I sure it was my fault, have I admitted liability - so desperate for a ‘catch’.

JaneR185 Sat 10-Apr-21 16:42:08

Laughed so hard I was incoherent reading them to dh.

PennyWhistle Sat 10-Apr-21 15:31:18

Jim Browning is the Internet alias of a London-based software engineer from Northern Ireland whose content primarily focuses on scambaiting and exposing scam call centres. His YouTube explanation of how scams work, and in particular his recording of accessing the scammers computer is hilarious - well recommend that you take a look smile

Unigran4 Sat 10-Apr-21 15:24:07

I had a broadband scam call telling me my computer had a virus - so I went in to melt-down! I screamed, I cried, I sobbed - in fact I quite got carried away with it all. I wouldn't let them get a word in edgeways, although I was begging them to help me save my data, paused, and then calmly said, "Thank you for telling me about your virus, can I get you a coffee and a Paracetamol"? Stunned silence and they hung up.

Lesley60 Sat 10-Apr-21 15:02:31

I had a scammer ring me saying I had been in an accident, I played along for about twenty five minutes before I said I know you are a scammer and she hung up.
When I told my daughter about it she told me off for being so bored