My best scammer wind up to date.

When Sky were at their peak, advertising with constant cold calling I got really cross with this poor guy and harangued him with "Why don't you get a proper job"
He replied that he was a student and couldn't get any other job to pay his expenses. Did I really think he wanted to be doing this for a living. I was contrite.
But I guess a sales call is not the same as a scam calls, which can be horrible
I have just had a marriage proposal from the random person I am playing scrabble with - online! Shall I accept?

A few years back, when the callers were beginning to be recorded messages, I was at a friend's house (remember those days) and we were slightly tipsy and handed the call, now on speaker phone around the dining table to listen and add a bit.
I said, don't waste your time it's a robot.
"I'm not a robot" came back the voice. "it sounds like you are having a party"

I thought it best not to say a word or you will find yourself paying for the call.

Most scams are recordings these days so not much chance to have fun with them.

Some time ago a friend received the usual computer call. After they had gone into their spiel she interrupted and asked for a password, puzzled caller said they didn't have a password, friend pressed a couple of random buttons (to make phone beep) and said something along the lines of "unauthorised caller on line 2, trace in progress, rapid response team on standby" The caller hung up and she never got that call again!

My husband answered the phone and there was a very gentle sounding Asian lady trying to scam him. He went along with it for a while but when she realized what he was doing, she screamed at him that he was a motherf...er!

I haven't had a scam call for a while because I got so fed up with them that I changed my number. But I did hear about a good way of getting good rid of them. Apparently you anewer the call like this;

You (in an sinister whisper): it's done! They were expecting me and there's a lot of blood, but it's done! You may need to send in the cleaners.

Brilliant thread Vampirequeen
We even get them at work. So pass them from colleague to colleague each saying I'll pass you to my manager etc. ?

There was a programme a while back about scammers - some based on the UK! the police are closing them down but there appear to be 100s!

Vampire queen, that is awesome! I will try that next time. Yesterday my husband told the Asian sounding person called Simon, that he wasn't the person Simon wanted. Dh said he was the undertaker and MrJ had just passed over and he (DH) was measuring him for his coffin and that there was no one else in.
I had a good one a while ago, but is quite long and I have to be up in 6 hours and haven't gone to bed yet, so it will have to wait!

Many of the scammers are based in Calcutta, India. Some even work from their own homes.
I love to read about the scammers being sophisticatedly scammed in reverse by clever IT specialists.
Their web cams are hacked, their faces shown, all their files deleted or even better, their computers having viruses installed remotely and rendered unusable.

vampirequeen, geekesse, Bluebellwould I just read these out to DH, he really enjoyed them!

???

Most scammers are not phoning from the UK but they set up a call diverting system so that the call appears to come from the UK. It's legal but costs them money.

I've had so many of these calls lately, including one on Easter Sunday. I let them talk for a bit and then say something like "If there's a problem with my broadband, then you must be a crook".

On a serious note, what I would like to know - given that the calls come from a UK mobile number to my mobile - why are these scammers not caught? Surely those numbers are traceable. Any ideas please?

Have laughed till I cried - thank you so much ???

I wish I had half of your imagination

Some very amusing stories, well done.

Tut tut, wasting scammers’ time, Vampirequeen!.

Well done ladies these are all hilarious!!! ???

I blocked the number but they phoned back later on a different number. Pretended to be a new call so I pointed out that I had spoken to her colleague earlier and explained why I didn't need life insurance. Did I need to explain again?. She couldn't get off the phone quick enough and said she'd remove my number from their list

Love these scam responses!

Good stories, I got a call from Sky last week.
Caller : there is a problem with your broadband.
Me: I know.
Caller: we can check your connectivity. What do you have connected at the moment.
Me: television, washing machine, freezer, fridge, toaster and microwave.
Caller: no what is connected as we are receiving reports of poor connection.
Me: yes my washing machine is going slowly and it keeps stopping. Can you fix this please.
Caller: no you are not understanding, what is connected at this time.
Me: my fridge, washing machine, toaster, microwave oh I forgot the tumble drier.
Caller: no you are not understanding. Hangs up.
Later in day caller from Sky, male this time:
Caller: I am calling from Sky, you have a problem with your internet connection.
Me: oh good you called back, I spoke to your colleague earlier.
Caller: so you know what I am going to help you with.
Me: yes you are going to fix my washing machine.
Caller: you are wasting my f***ing time, you stupid woman.
And hangs up.
Best chat I’ve had in ages.
?

I once responded to the computer problem scam by asking 'Which computer?' After a bit of backwards-and-forwards-ing we established that there were 13 computers in the house. (That included DH's, DS's, broken ones....) The caller sighed and asked if he was calling a home or a business, at which point I took pity and hung up.

Caller: We have an offer of free life insurance for one month.
Me: How is that a good thing?
Caller: We will insure your life for £100,000 for a month at no cost to you.
Me: Do you know something that I don’t? Have you been talking to my doctor?
Caller: Not at all. We re just offering you a whole month of free life insurance.
Me: And how does that benefit me?
Caller: We’re offering you a month of life insurance for free.
Me: But I only benefit from that if I die in the next month. So if this free insurance you are offering is going to benefit me, you must know I am going to die within a month. How do you know that? Where did you get the information?
Caller (getting worried): No, we don’t know that you are going to die...
Me: But you think there’s a good chance, because otherwise a month of life insurance isn’t worth having. What’s wrong with me? How long have I got? Who told you?
Caller: No, please don’t worry, we don’t think you are going to die at all. Really, you won’t die in the next month.
Me: Then you are trying to use something utterly worthless to con me into taking out your ridiculously expensive life insurance?
Caller: Erm, well, not exactly...(hangs up)

Well done.

Well done Vampirequeen. Usually I just put the phone down but on one occasion I had a call allegedly from a bank which was not the name of the bank that I use. It was the usual we believe their has been fraudulent activity on your account and we need to ask you some security questions. I said that is fine once you have answered my security questions. I asked what is the name of the account holder, they said can you confirm your name for me, my response that is incorrect. Next I asked what is the account number of the customer, again they said can you confirm that for me, incorrect answer was my reply. I ended the conversation by saying you have failed my security questions and then put the phone down.

If I have a spare few minutes I can't resist winding them up. I figure that whilst I'm wasting their time they can't be scamming someone else. Also the call is costing money so the longer I can waste their time the more money they're wasting.

Most of the calls I receive are from auto diallers with just a recoded speech. I just auto hang up. (Then block that number)

and I always thought these callers have to make so many calls in a set time slot....cynical ole me.