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Just a thought about Carol's family

(63 Posts)
baubles Thu 07-Nov-13 09:28:53

During the night I was thinking about Carol's family having to organise her funeral from afar. Of course I have no idea what arrangements will be made but I do know there would be huge expenses involved for all of the family to get together somewhere.

Do you think it would be possible to have some way of us donating towards this?

bookdreamer Thu 07-Nov-13 16:52:19

I don't think her posts should be deleted either. I have been thinking about some of the posts she posted. I would like to read them again. She was so interesting.

bikergran Thu 07-Nov-13 16:18:50

if it was me..then I wouldn't want my posts deleted just yet,I would like people to re read them ( especialy the virtual party ones) not that I contribute anything near as much as Carol did.

JessM Thu 07-Nov-13 16:01:05

Yes, Carol chose to reveal more than most (more than anyone?) about her family and her feelings. I think it would be a pity to delete them. Some of her grandchildren might like to read them at some stage for instance.

Gally Thu 07-Nov-13 15:48:29

Carol's posts should stay, if the family wish it. They are so full of humour and interest and we can look back on all her stories, her advice and her opinions - whether we agreed or not! A lovely legacy left to her pals on GN and for her friends and family.

Gally Thu 07-Nov-13 15:45:14

I have just donated to the Missing Persons appeal on Radio 4 by Kate McCann. It felt right to do this at this particular point.

Elegran Thu 07-Nov-13 15:42:16

Agree that her posts should stay. There has been so much publicity about her identity and disappearance that deleting her posts would be removing only a little of her public persona.

She is beyond the reach of anyone who might, for instance, stalk her (I think she would have made short work of anyone who tried)

LizG Thu 07-Nov-13 15:15:55

Please don't delete Carol's posts she had so much to say to us all.

I agree with when we should wait for the family who have much to take on board right now and it is early days x

janthea Thu 07-Nov-13 15:03:22

I disagree with deleting her posts. Why is that necessary? She would be horrified.

GadaboutGran Thu 07-Nov-13 15:03:07

Carol's family will have so many things to sort out now, not least the bureaucratic processes like Inquests or whatever the French system demands (anyone know?). They need time for this never mind dealing with the shock of the last 11 days and their deep grief so maybe, whichever of all these lovely ideas & thoughts are pursued, we carry on doing what we can (maybe starting a fund) quietly until they have the energy to think about how they would value using them.

MiceElf Thu 07-Nov-13 14:56:06

I can understand that, but - firstly it would make a nonsense of the many discussions on this forum if only one contributer was deleted, and, secondly, what Carol put on here was what she chose to put in the public domain. It would be like censoring any author's work just because they have died. Carol was clear in her views and, although, I might be wrong, I suspect she would prefer to continue to have her views out there making people think.

Riverwalk Thu 07-Nov-13 14:55:44

I don't agree with deleting all Carol's posts - that would be wiping away all trace of her presence on GN, as though she never existed.

This is a public forum and there isn't any real anonymity particularly if you post pictures of yourself.

Presuming her death was an accident, the press will have no further interest in the story.

Tegan Thu 07-Nov-13 14:45:30

Perhaps the exception should be her beautiful poem about Autumn which should stay on here in her memory. I think she'd like that.

glassortwo Thu 07-Nov-13 14:39:11

Me too.

Tegan Thu 07-Nov-13 14:37:34

I agree, Grannyknot. I personally feel that all of her posts should be deleted by HQ.

Grannyknot Thu 07-Nov-13 14:11:37

Good ideas on here re contributions.

One thing that occurred to me, and not sure whether this is the right place to air it, but now that Carol's identity is known to all of us, plus information about her family - is there a policy on Gransnet on what happens when someone's posts can now be directly linked to them, when the anonymity under which we all feel safe to express ourselves, is no longer valid?

I hope this is seen in the spirit in which it is meant - being protective of someone's privacy.

bluebell Thu 07-Nov-13 14:03:34

If something is to be in Carol's name like a grant, then that's different of course but I was thinking about individuals

bluebell Thu 07-Nov-13 14:01:47

But I do think that if as individuals in a purely personal capacity, we want to do something in her memory, that's all OK as well - I really like Stans idea for example and will think further about that.

dorsetpennt Thu 07-Nov-13 13:01:35

As always the thoughtful and sensible one we should abide by what whenim64 has said. Wait until we hear what Carol's family would like. Carol may have asked to have her remains stay where she lived as she loved it so much there.

Tegan Thu 07-Nov-13 12:52:58

Nellie; I can only agree with what you've just said. Her spirit needs to be free.

Stansgran Thu 07-Nov-13 12:34:46

What about a thank you to the mountain rescue team? These are the people who went out including the volunteers "les bénévolés" mentioned in reports. They went out in inclement weather when it was not possible to send out helicopters and had the wretched job of bringing back a body. And it won't be the last time.

Nelliemoser Thu 07-Nov-13 12:08:25

She was the sort of person who would probably like her ashes scattered from the top of Mont Blanc. Or scattering over a coral reef! (If it was allowed) I could just imagine her thinking up something like that with a degree of glee.

Jendurham Thu 07-Nov-13 12:04:06

Yesterday I dedicated a tree to Carol through the Woodland Trust.
Hope her family do not mind.

annodomini Thu 07-Nov-13 11:54:18

Good suggestions here. I am sure that when things are more settled, we shall be able to contact members of the family and find out what arrangements are to be made.

LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 07-Nov-13 11:51:55

You are all amazing and so thoughtful. We're happy to help where we can. As others have said, let's wait and see what the family would like.

JessM Thu 07-Nov-13 11:21:02

We don't even know if there will be a funeral at the moment do we.
Carol may well have left some instructions or made some arrangements - I would not be surprised if she had, as she was a very organised and practical person.
I think Micelfs suggestion is worth thinking about - but again the family may ask for donations to a particular charity in lieu of wreaths etc and that could guide any decision we make as a group.