An awful lot of nastiness these days, don’t you think?

I think what it boils down to is certain threads are best avoided. They attract the confrontational types who are very dogmatic. Always right types. However there are plenty of other interesting topics. I’ve learned a lot from food, gardening, health. I come here for hints and tips and not for an argument with the type of people I’d run a mile from in real life. I have been tempted to chip in on the odd occasion but, really, I’m wasting my time so now I don’t. Doesn’t mean we all agree with their views though.

There seem to me to be a few posters who just like to stir people up and they are rude and insulting. They are the equivalent of the playground bullies. These days if I see one of them on a thread, I leave it because frankly, life's too short, and these days stressful enough.

Good post Cherry ??
These sort of threads pop up about every six months to a year on GN. Accusations of cliques across all threads, lamentations about being ignored etc.
Daddima, to be fair, started a thread about something different to that, but it has become the other one now.
Political threads have always been contentious, but that’s the nature of it, and it’s a lot better now than it ever used to be.
In any case there are so many friendly threads about non contentious subjects, and games, that you are spoilt for choice.?

Well I haven’t noticed it being any worse than normal I think there’s always been plenty of disagreement especially in the political Brexit threads
I don’t belong to any clique as I don’t really know anyone who posts The two good friends I ve have made through Gransnet rarely post I m very very grateful for finding them
I only occasionally get an agreement or disagreement to something I post most of the time it’s just passed by and I m sure that’s the nature of forums it’s not like FB where it’s all your friends and acquaintances reading your views
When I first joined I thought I was being purposely ignored but soon realised its normal I also felt on the outside but realise you just plod on if you want to make posts or float into the background if you don’t
I don’t think it’s worse or better than it ever has been

Marydoll I read your maths lesson today for the first time. I am challenged in that department so I didn't understand any of it but I did feel that lot should temporarily leave your class and return to English lessons.

Each is going to find it difficult being employed when they leave school because of their lack of grasp of grammar and spelling.

I was educated in Scotland and I feel they would benefit from the high standards of teaching I received.

In my day the rod was not spared- that unruly lot would soon change I think. They are unemployable at present.

There was a thread about cliques on GN a couple of months ago with opinions on either side. I hadn’t long joined then and hadn’t formed an opinion either way. I have concluded that I don’t really think there are but I do think some posters gravitate toward each other, for whatever reason, on some threads. It can depend on the thread, “like mindedness” or opinion or recognition of something in common.
There are threads where “antagonistic” behaviour takes place. Some of this can be ott and offensive. Sometimes it appears that particular posters just don’t seem to like each other and clash on threads. When these things carry on the thread itself descends imho and I “walk” away.
There are some lovely, genuine people on GN, some of which you can find yourself disagreeing with but it doesn’t stop them from continuing to be lovely and genuine.
It is not always possible to respond to one person’s comments, even if you agree or disagree. I don’t think it’s a case that the individual is being ignored.

One of the first times I posted was on a Gransnet thread asking if we felt there was any clique ness. A few posters said they thought there was. It was followed by a poster saying to the gransnet poster, that we shouldn’t worry about these “ sensitive souls”, or words to that effect. When another poster took her to task over that remark, she became unpleasant, trying to defend what she’d said. I posted to support the first one. I had been a lurker for a while before that, and although I can’t say I particularly noticed clique ness, certain names stood out as being more argumentative than others. I personally don’t experience anything like this in real life, but I’m very discerning, and know instantly if I’m not going to click with someone.

Marydoll is right Roslyn - her daily Maths Teasers are a hoot because she has a class full of the most unruly, irreverent, saucy, grammatically challenged kids - apart from me ?

I know there are Rosalyn, so I read, but I steer well clear. Why would I subject myself to that upset?

It's not an excuse, but I suspect that some posters are very angry with life and take the opportunity to lash out and hurt people under the cloak of anonymity.

On the other hand, there are some very kind people on here, it just takes time to find them.
I hope you do try again.

You are very welcome on Miss MaryDoll's Maths Class.
It's not really about showing off maths skills, it's about communicating with others. You won't find any nasties on there, they are a lovely, if unruly lot!
You don't even need to answer the questions, if you don't want to, just join in the chat. That's if you can understand it, I can't!!! ?

Pleased to see this discussion - thought it might just be me! The only approach is to remain polite (and very patient) and steer clear of potentially upsetting areas. Bit like being a grandparent!

There are some topics that seem to bring out the worst in people and yes there are obvious cliques. If a thread gets heated I tend to ignore it and move on. I do think that it's much more noticeable than when I first joined. However there's lots of threads for general discussion or just chat which are likely to be useful.

Marydoll - if I implied “all” I apologise. I meant some.
I’m sorry you found it “unfair” but you’re not seeing what I see. There are some very nasty comments on certain threads which I now try hard to avoid.

* Doodledog I suppose there will be people who don’t like to be disagreed with, but don’t you think there might be a difference between, ‘ I don’t agree, I think ........’, and replies like ‘ Oh, for God’s sake grow up’, ‘ Do I need to explain it to you’, ‘ If you’re too stupid to....’? I think that’s being ‘savaged’.*

I think it's being rude, yes. But there will be bad mannered people wherever you go online. My point was not to excuse it, but to say that if it upsets you the best thing is to post on threads where there is little opportunity for people to behave like that.

Marydoll. Thank you for your wise and sensible posts on this thread.
As I am fairly new to GN. I understand that you can sometimes feel left out and as though nobody at all is reading what you have to say so I found your post comforting.

I respect your opinion Rosalyn , it's all about how we perceive things, but I'm happy to engage with posters, I don't know.
We are not all how you describe us. I find that comment unfair.

I do feel that it’s cliquey. People who have been here a long time really only want to engage with others the “know” and have the same opinions.
I’m not sensitive or a shrinking violet but GN is hardly welcoming on some threads - usually the virus threads.
But that said I used to be active on forums some years ago and that was the same if not worse. It’s the way it is.

Chewbacca - yes I’ve seen those demands, it’s like old women trying to give other old women their homework! ?

Isn't that what GN is all about? Active discussion on a number of subjects?
People who post frequently, get recognised by other posters. That's not being cliquey.

Posters often ignore me, it doesn't mean I have to be offended. It's better than being personally attacked!

We all started out as new posters, it takes some time to feel part of things.
I understand that it can be difficult to join in initially, but you have to work at things.

25Avalon I know for years it has been said that certain GNs appear to be cliquey. Some of us have "known " each other for years online and followed grandchildren born and growing up.

Many of us have met in real life and with some, it has been going on for years. so it may appear cliquey to a newbie.

Agree with everyone else; GN seems to have stopped being a supportive, friendly and helpful place these days. Spiteful, nasty and demanding comments are more commonplace now and, as someone else has said, even simply disagreeing with an opinion, leads to demands that they explain themselves fully and provide accredited backup data for why they hold the opinion that they do. I used to be a regular poster. Hardly at all these days.

I understand where you are coming from why why why. I have been thinking of asking the question “is gn cliquey?” As I feel sometimes it is. Some people seem to be ignored whilst others bat to and fro like a tennis match and across quite a few subjects.

* Doodledog* I suppose there will be people who don’t like to be disagreed with, but don’t you think there might be a difference between, ‘ I don’t agree, I think ........’, and replies like ‘ Oh, for God’s sake grow up’, ‘ Do I need to explain it to you’, ‘ If you’re too stupid to....’? I think that’s being ‘savaged’.

why, why, why, I have seen you posting on the Good Morning, and people have often responded when you have said you were feeling low.
I post every day, but would never expect posters to respond to every post I write!
That wouldn't be possible and unrealistic.
Try not to to take it personally. Posters not responding is not meant as a personal insult.

These threads come up regularly, don't they? It's difficult to know what a consensus would be, as there is always someone saying that they don't want to be 'savaged' (ie disagreed with), someone feels that nobody acknowledges them, whilst another feels 'picked on', someone wants to be able to have a debate, and someone else prefers the atmosphere of chat threads where everyone is 'nice'.

It's clear that it would be impossible for everyone to be happy on the same thread, so the obvious way forward is for everyone to stick to threads where they feel comfortable and let others do the same.

I think the way our lives are at the moment nastiness just isn’t what we need and yes it does out me off posting. We should be encouraging people to join in not putting them off.