Do you know what?

Back to dishcloths and Bake off.

There is absolutely NO need at all for anyone to get involved with any thread which does not interest them, or which they find not to their taste, or controversial, or ... whatever. Quite simple, really.

As many of us have no idea what Phoenix is talking about, it is hard to comment.

It is an internet Forum - posters do not have 'identities' and the rules are quite clear in this matter.

Attacks are unpleasant, for sure. Difference of opinion, hopefully based on facts and with links given when possible - is not an attack.

Making anonymous attacks in vague terms, as in 'certain posters' - I would say is much more unpleasant and insidious in the extreme, as those 'certain posters' cannot reply to said attacks.

As said above, tensions are high- because we find ourselves in an unprecendented crisis- which is affecting many posters to a vast extent in a way that has never happened before.

FannyC there is a long thread about washing cleaning cloths

And yes, there was a thread about loo brushes not long ago.

Opinions vary.

Anniebach

I have been on GN for some years, because of circumstances
my only friends were here, many don’t post now, I don’t post much, but stay because there are still some friends here.

I don’t like Gransnet now.

It has changed, hasn't it, Anniebach.
I had noticed that you rarely post now, which is sad. But I realise why.

GN is a lifeline for some, especially in these strange times.

Think you’ve had a hard time on here though lately Phoenix! Yesterday’s was really OTT.
Yes, Lucca, I too think it was uncalled for .

I was reported for bullying when I questioned the identity of a poster. The GNHQ email told me off as it is not in the spirit of GN to do this but sometimes it is hard not to when a new poster is taking the piss.
I have been here for years and I agree that if posters feel they have to put (lighthearted) or ask posters to be kind, then all is not well.

I think the OP is not referring to political threads though, Luckygirl, where obviously one would expect dissent and arguments. There have been “silly” threads, which, if people took them seriously, wasted their time and effort - possibly to the amusement of the OP of that thread. Other GN members posted humorous responses and this was somehow interpreted as bullying.....

I think it's a shame that people feel the need to put 'lighthearted thread' in brackets after the title these days.

It never used to be necessary - we all knew it was lighthearted!

Spats defined as arguments becoming personal and vindictive; not reasoned differences of opinion. .

We are living in high stress times and that is reflected in some of the posts, especially those about coronavirus and the government's handling of it - people are bound to have strong views about that. Strong views, strongly expressed.

I leave threads as soon as any hint of a spat hoves into view.

Ha ha, yes the dishcloths!
Do you lot get all airiated about loo brushes?
Some of the nastiest comments Ive seen on Mumsnet have been on loo brush and 'how often to you wash your bedding?' threads!
See also 'bathroom bin'.

I have met up with several GN members in real life and we talked and talked for hours.

The amazing thing is although on the political threads we are total opposites, face to face we got on really well?

Oldwoman70

Lucca no-one wants GN to become "Sweetness and light, recipes and housework!" just an acceptance that some people have differing opinions - and have a right to do so

Absolutely agree with you ! The differing opinions must be allowed....
Both ways !
My remark about housework was a tongue in cheek as there has been and probably still is a spectacularly long thread about washing dishcloths........

Furret, I may have joined about then,but maybe avoided it. I used to get the email and just click on the suggested threads,then I found the active button?. For me it sometimes feels that particular groups or people target particular groups or people whatever they post. I may be wrong and I'm hopeless at remembering names which doesnt help. Certainly on some threads theres a feeling of something that goes beyond heated debate.

Lucca no-one wants GN to become "Sweetness and light, recipes and housework!" just an acceptance that some people have differing opinions - and have a right to do so

Yes as soon as I see certain posters I go elsewhere - either because I don't believe them to be who they claim to be or because they can't get it into their heads that a lot of the posts are 'tongue in cheek' and posted with affection!!

The cries of misandry just may me laugh to be honest, I cant get too upset about it, women talking about their lives has always been difficult for some to hear.

Dorset you should have been here during the height of the Brexit furore!

There’s always been ‘lively’ discussions, yes, even vitriolic. What is emerging recently is something more insidious and is frankly spoiling GN for many.

No idea what happened re an 'attack' so can't comment.

GN and other Forums are reflecting what is going around us- and tensions have been rising due to the very serious situation we are facing as a country, both with Brexit, and Covid- aggravated by the truly frustrating and confusing restrictions we all find ourselves in- making us even more sensitive.

Attacks are not acceptable, this way or that. However, is some threads are upsetting you, you have the total freedom to avoid them.

'*there is only one way to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing*' Aristotle.

I've been on Gransnet for a few years. Until the past few months I had never been aware of any unpleasantness. I dont know whether it has always been there but I havent noticed it as didnt read as many threads. If it is a genuinely new occurrence I wonder if it's a reflection of the anxiety and conflict in wider society at the moment. I'm on a diabetic support forum and there is a definite change in some people's posts ,some people are downright nasty and show zero empathy or tolerance for those whose viewpoint is different to theirs.
There is much that is kind and supportive here. I only really started posting this year and I must admit I'm wary. I think sometimes its healthier to mentally agree to disagree rather than engage in unnecessary conflict with someone I dont know, life is difficult enough at the moment.

Lucca but isn't 'vitriol' a lovely word?

Phoenix, I didn't know you had been attacked - I'm sorry. It's such a shame that people barge in and spoil things for one of the nice people. There you go - damned with faint praise!! I'm sure you know what I mean.

Patronising lectures.

Obviously, I've missed another contentious thread. I must say that I'm not looking at GN nearly as often these days. I do check the forums but if there are posts from certain posters I just avoid.

It has changed over the years and not for the better. I have met in real life some very nice people and I email others and have been doing so for years.

On the whole, I stay with one thread because even a simple thread can become so contentious so quickly. Arguments and paper bags spring to mind.

There are still very many kind, decent people here even if they do not post regularly.

Oh Annie, that is sad.
I only joined last week and I think it's lovely here.
I've seen s bit of nastiness, but it seems few and far between.
Perhaps I've been lucky.
I was treated with much suspicion initially, but that was cleared up quickly.

I have been on GN for some years, because of circumstances
my only friends were here, many don’t post now, I don’t post much, but stay because there are still some friends here.

I don’t like Gransnet now.