Do you remember wayback when.........

Yes, I find some people give very helpful advice in a kind and low key way, and some folks like to shout about it, and sometimes even humiliate the questioner.
There are some posters who feel that their choice of clothes is what we should all be wearing too, as they endlessly promote the same (expensive) fashion brands every time.

Maybe some people miss the fact that they are no longer in charge, that they no longer have clients hanging on their every word.
This maybe the next best thing, dazzling us all with their knowledge and intellect.

Wheniwasyounger, I know who you referring about legal advice and whilst I have had much respect for some of advice I do at times find her wholly bossy and a know all. This came after I was told by her that what I had done was fraudulent, despite a legal team setting it up and being in my opinion offences about my granddaughters choice of work. I took a great deal flack from her and others who followed. Though I was grateful that a few stood up for me. It did make me want to leave but I am still here

Yes you are right Wheniwasyourage, some posters are invaluable and provide excellent advice.

There are some who really are qualified to tell us about some topics. I'm thinking particularly of a lawyer whose advice has been much appreciated. She manages to give the advice without coming over as someone who thinks she is clever (although I'm sure she is), and so her advice has in fact been asked for, not just given spontaneously.

We have over the years had contributions from several people who do actually know what they are talking about, and they too have been appreciated. I know what you mean about those "who keep telling us how well qualified and clever they are", though nanna8!

nanna8

Those who keep telling us how well qualified and clever they are probably aren’t but have a low self esteem I think. To be avoided. Different from those who really do have knowledge but don’t need to shout it from the rooftops every other day.

I agree with this 100%

Those who keep telling us how well qualified and clever they are probably aren’t but have a low self esteem I think. To be avoided. Different from those who really do have knowledge but don’t need to shout it from the rooftops every other day.

On my iPhone and iPad the OP’s posts show in green, along with any of mine in pink. Every other post is white apart from GNHQ which show as blue.

That's why having the OP's posts in a different colour is a good idea but so far, no luck.

That would be a brilliant idea. After 100's of posts it is difficult to scroll back to find out what the OP said on various occasions because even though I usually read all the posts before I comment, I've often forgotten what was said by that time...I am old, you know. ?

I’ve been posting for about a couple of years now and generally have found people to be helpful and interesting and have enjoyed lots of the threads. I have, however, had posters berating me for my opinion and telling me how i ought to think and feel which is upsetting. I also think there are definitely some bossy Queen bees that feel they have to act as Moderators or just tell me how clever they are. I am, as a result, far more wary on a thread when I see these posters. On balance I think Gransnet provides something for most people, whether that be comfort, support, advice, games, stimulation, chat or just fun.

MissAdventure

Do you remember a fair while back, that someone posted as a joke that her grandson was selfish (at age two or three) and she was looking for advice on how to punish him?

Speak roughly to your little boy
and beat him when he sneezes!
he only does it to annoy,
because he knows it teases!

FWIW, I prefer that being an expectation to reading the same thing over and over, even when the OP has explained that it won't work or doesn't apply, but maybe that's for a different thread?

That's why having the OP's posts in a different colour is a good idea but so far, no luck.

Oh those threads used to pop up on MN all the time ' I am being ruled by a tiny tyrant who is refusing to eat because the bread is square' or some such

Yes.
People wrote THIS IS A JOKE! A FUNNY, THE OP HAS EXPLAINED THIS MANY TIMES!! but still the thread filled up with increasingly irate people.

No . Was that an example of repeated advice being given? I wish we had a better search facility on here so we could find things like that when we want to.

Do you remember a fair while back, that someone posted as a joke that her grandson was selfish (at age two or three) and she was looking for advice on how to punish him?

I must say that being expected to have read a whole thread before posting , is fine when it is 4 or 5 pages but when it is 20 pages or more, is one really expected to read the lot? I find it very helpful to have a voices of dissent pointing out something, usually practical, on a thread every couple of pages.

That was just an example of differing board norms, chosen as it wasn't about something subjective like 'nastiness', and couldn't be perceived by even the most fragile of egos as being a dig at anyone in particular .

FWIW, I prefer that being an expectation to reading the same thing over and over, even when the OP has explained that it won't work or doesn't apply, but maybe that's for a different thread?

icanhandthemback the problem arises when “some people” do not get the response they want from GNHQ so derail the thread or incite responses that get the thread deleted.

Isn't that a bit like a man blaming a woman for pushing him to hit her? If you don't like what "some people" say, disengage. They can only derail the thread if you let them by engaging. Admin soon get to know who constantly reports and if the post isn't worthy of being deleted, it won't be. Admins are generally picked because they are able to moderate fairly.

The other problem is that it is possibly to give offence inadvertently because when you write something, it is to say the obvious, not spoken, so that tone of voice and the extra meaning that spoken words give, is missing when written down

For example, if i say to someone 'You are an idiot' it can be said when someone is telling something really silly they have done and you are both laughing about it and the phrase has no pejorative meaning at all, but you can also say it with a voice of anger, contempt and disgust, which gives the phrase a really offensive meaning - and everything in between. None of this comes over when it is just written down.

Some people use being upset and taking offence as a tactical weapon to put down other people where they have failed to do it by honest debate.

I must say that being expected to have read a whole thread before posting , is fine when it is 4 or 5 pages but when it is 20 pages or more, is one really expected to read the lot? I find it very helpful to have a voices of dissent pointing out something, usually practical, on a thread every couple of pages.

You don't ignore the nasty people, ask anyone who has to deal with the general public on a day to day basis. It also isn't going to matter if you are kind to someone who isn't who they seem.

Fortunately, I am quite thick-skinned so if I get a sharp retort or a dismissal of something I have posted it doesn’t bother me, I do not know the people on here and therefore do not value their opinion of me.

I do feel sorry for those that are picked on and get upset and dwell on the comments made. If some random person in the street said something nasty in passing, you would ignore them and just think what an odd person, it is the same on here, just random people that you only know what they have told you about themselves which may not be true.

I’m with Toscalily and Floriel - I think twice about posting.

Vintagejazz

Not axe grinding just think the majority of nice posters should not be upset by the minority of rude and bossy ones.

I mean, I could just leave I suppose, but I would love the forum to retain a feisty interesting edge but remain kind and welcoming at its core.

Plus retain sense of humour.

Vintagejazz

Not axe grinding just think the majority of nice posters should not be upset by the minority of rude and bossy ones.

I mean, I could just leave I suppose, but I would love the forum to retain a feisty interesting edge but remain kind and welcoming at its core.

Sounds perfect

Not axe grinding just think the majority of nice posters should not be upset by the minority of rude and bossy ones.

I mean, I could just leave I suppose, but I would love the forum to retain a feisty interesting edge but remain kind and welcoming at its core.