Reasoned discussion is not victimisation.

Superb. I know my responses are going to offend some people and it’s not ever intended. I’m a very much heart on my sleeve type who says what I’m thinking and nothing is ever meant to be personal just random thoughts in an attempt to unravel my own probably.
I cannot apologise for who I am.

I think you have hit the nail on the head, Philippa. Very well expressed,too.

another's opinion or idea sometimes disturbs me , however I would not have it otherwise because I like my ideas to be disturbed as this makes me review my ideas.

Let's face it, this is an online group of people who have (mostly) not ever met. So if someone doesn't agree with me why on earth should it matter. A rule I learned earlier in life is that a) not everyone is going to like me and b) not everyone is going agree with me.

I think people need to be kind to each other and not revert to nasty remarks but rather try to build a tolerant and caring community. There are some who can be really unpleasant but there are more who are genuinely caring and concerned and that is really nice to witness.

In life it can be difficult and frustrating when others opinions and beliefs seem 'wrong' to us. We are powerless over what others think, but we all have the choice as to how we respond.

If we choose to be angry ,annoyed, hurt etc we are disturbing our own peace and why give someone else's belief system the power to do that!

Personal comments - even when the person is not named - are not reasoned debate. I rarely comment these days due to the unpleasant remarks I have read.

I wonder how many others are like me who feel they would like reasoned debate but don't need the covert attacks

Someone much more intelligent than I once said that if you have to resort to insults - you have lost the argument!

play the person, not the ball, and refuse to discuss, just attack

Ah, you mean the people who, instead of having the wit to reply to the topic of the posting they de-conextualise one word or phrase they dont like in order to draw attention to themselves.

We call that trolling.

It depends very much how it is done!

Some here constantly play the person, not the ball, and refuse to discuss, just attack.

BTW, there are some who believe they are within reason when they contradict me about my own feelings, which is an absurd claim.

I agree with Emerson, of course! However how should I answer someone else who feels insulted by being contradicted?

StacyAnna

To be fair, there are situations where people express a different opinion, and there are those when more personal remarks are made within the disagreement (leading to a feeling of being ‘got at’)

It is indeed a good quote.
However I’m tending to agree with StacyAnna here as on Gransnet itself, I’ve noticed rather more times than I would like, posters becoming really quite nasty to other posters who they disagree with on certain topics. They couch their words in such a way as to make the person they’re disagreeing with feel got at, but they’re careful to not mention the name, thereby not breaking guidelines by being obviously personal. Unfortunately the ‘victim’ generally understands perfectly that the comment is aimed at them. Sometimes these comments are aimed at one particular poster throughout a day, or a thread.

Absolutely right. And should be repeated over and over and over.....

How true, Nanatoone.

A very good quote.

Couldn’t agree more. I take this as the modern take on discussion which seems to be that if you don’t like my opinion vs your fact, I will get you cancelled!

To be fair, there are situations where people express a different opinion, and there are those when more personal remarks are made within the disagreement (leading to a feeling of being ‘got at’)

Excellent quote! Very appropriate in this day and age.

I will remember that! 😊

Elegran 👏👏👏