NOW CLOSED: Let’s talk vaginal dryness and the menopause: share your experiences, thoughts and tips with Balance Activ and you could win a £200 John Lewis voucher.

semi amusing story about this.. My husband is algerian and brought up in a very segregated world where men didn't talk about 'women's things' and , bless him, knows nothing about the Change really. On holiday in Algiers I started suffering from dryness, needed to buy something from the chemist but not speaking arabic I tried to explain what I wanted to hubby so he could buy it. I stood outside the shop.(.elderly male pharmacist, bit embarrassing) and hubby comes out with...thrush treatment..!
Anyhow we tried another shop with young girl on the counter and I , in very rusty schoolgirl french (thank goodness it's their second language) tried to think what the heck the french for 'vaginal dryness' was. Eventually they twigged..they has all sorts of products..I was red as a beetroot , I laughed and said 'education anglaise..'..to which they laughed even harder and replied 'education francaise..!' meaning they weren't in the least embarrassed. Moral of the story, when you go on holiday take your products with you to save your blushes.!

Not many takers for this one so far!

hmm petallus..maybe that's the point.it's not talked about that much.

Doesn't quite have the allure of a Dyson or a beauty serum.

I love the coy language .... 'discreet packaging'!

I have experienced this problem since I entered my 60s, and have experimented with various gels.As I do not suffer discomfort,other than during sexual intercourse, I am o.k.as we - my husband and I, do not indulge too frequently any more.I could go to my local well woman centre to get advice, but I dont feel the need to do that.I am not shy about asking advice, but dont feel the need to..Here I go, repeating myself.....think its my age!P.S.A bit of Flora sometimes does the trick!!!!!

it'd have to be discreet...my nosy 9 year old daughter wants to know what's in every parcel/letter that comes through the door..

liminetta Flora?? That made me laugh, whipped cream, chocolate - but Flora? I'm relieved though as it's the right type of fat and your BP should be OK

There are various Durex play gels but the consistency isn't too nice and they don't last. I'd welcome something scented, in pretty packaging that didn't end up feeling sticky.

Is vaginal dryness mainly a physical condition or does it have an emotional and psychological impact? It definitely has an emotional and psychological impact, 'failure as a woman' and all that. Plus it tends to put a person off sex.

Is there anywhere to go to get advice? Local Well Woman Centre, GP

Is it something you can discuss with friends, partners, your GP? What advice has been useful? It's a bit of a maze (but see above) and you have to find your own solution, given your particular circumstances plus support from your sexual partner. Discussions with others or reading about what others in the same situation do, can help, e.g. forums.

Are there treatments and therapies which work? Can't think of anything other than a good quality lubricant + a supportive partner.

Could having a dry vagina be Nature's way of trying to tell us something?

Do they mean just dryness or Atrophic Vaginitis as in a previous thread?
If so yes, it causes so much discomfort it makes you feel really miserable that is an emotional impact.
I thought I had thrush or such, which I have had since the menopause never before. It became so bad for me that walking and sitting was difficult never mind sex.

I think I was off sex years before the AVA really struck. I don't feel any less feminine. A good nights sleep is better!

Choose a good GP! Female if you are at all easily embarrassed; or possibly a drop in well woman clinic if you are lucky enough to have one.

I have one good friend I spoke to about it.

The vagifem pessaries work but they have just reduced the dosage to 25 to 10 ?micrograms or whatever units they measure it in. I am hoping they will be as effective when I change to that new dose.

Have said this before, but it is an important subject given the very high percentage of women who will suffer from this condition eventually. I developed vaginal atrophy which made walking, sitting and travel very uncomfortable. I also had constant thrush and UTIs. All this has been completely cured by topical oestrogen pessaries used three times a week. In my case my French GP prescribed Trophigil.
BTW ummlilia the French is sécheresse vaginale. The former is also the word for drought.

I'd never realised before that non-sexual problems could be experienced because of vaginal dryness/atrophy.

The figure normally quoted is thirty-five to forty per cent of post-menopausal women.

Baby oil is the perfect solution, and absolutely not embarrassing to buy. Costs very little too.

It has put me off having a cervical smear taken as the last one was so painful because of the dryness.

This is an awkward subject, and to be honest, not a topic I would discuss with friends (I would not bring up in relation to myself, but would give a friend the chance to talk and give my thoughts or experiences).

I have to agree with Charleygirl on the smear test reluctance and no doubt other women have experienced this issue, and is one maybe GPs could be more sensitive to.

I tend to use KY to alleviate vaginal dryness and I do feel that it can lead to emotional issues as well as being physical as you can feel less of a woman and not as desirable, or your husband/partner could feel 'he does not do it for you anymore' which can lead to tension in a relationship (not good with other menopausal symptoms too).

I went through menopause at age 45 - very early in my family, but I had undergone a hysterectomy. I couldn't afford to have symptoms like hot flushes, vaginal discomfort, etc. so took HRT for a number of years, in fact until I was over 60, and found it marvellous, although I know some people have trouble with it. My (wonderful) lady gynaecologist then prescribed me an oestrogen cream which I still use occasionally to this day - I'm now 75 and have a very active sex life, ta very much. My advice: find a good female GP and a female gynae, and never be afraid to ask questions. Hope this helps!

With me I guess it has been a case of 'use it or lose it'. My husband suffered a stroke 11 years ago which rendered him more or less impotent and therefore 'we lost it'! The consequence of this has been that I have become extremely dry and uncomfortable. My lovely lady GP prescribed Sylk on the national health and I do find it useful for a bit of 'playtime'. I too used to be on HRT which was wonderful - I stopped after 10 years owing to bad press but sometimes wish I had persevered. I have lovely girl friends with whom I have 'no holes barred' conversations and know that I am not alone in this discomfort. We can share experiences and laugh - something that unfortunately I am not able to do with my partner, so yes, it has become an unspoken issue in our marriage.

I have to say I haven't had too much of a problem but there again, we don't indulge very often (a good book, sudoku for husband) followed by a lovely deep sleep tends to be the norm these days. I have taken anti-depressant medication for a number of years and I recently discovered that the tablets I take, are sometimes prescribed for problems during the menopause so perhaps they help dryness too? I recently had a smear...I hate having them and the practice nurse knew this. She was so good, I didn't have any problem with that either .
My GP, is female, about the same age as me, and has seen me through many crises so I could and would talk to her. The practice nurses are also very approachable. It is not really something I would talk about with my husband....he would be sympathetic, but would not have enough understanding to make a suggestion. I do think it is a problem to discuss with another female.
I think messing about with creams, jellies, pessaries would just put me off....but that is just my personal take.

I think the combination of hysterectomy and menopause increase the problem as we age.

As a widow it doesn't worry me now. But I do remember in France, going to a chemist and trying to explain to a pharmacist what I wanted. I explained by saying ' un homme et sa marie fait comme ca' and miming with a finger inserted into a ring made by a forefinger and thumb,' c'est difficile !'
He got the message and came out with Femmilube, which was very good and we used to stock up every time we went to France until oh died!

Being 65 and counting is no fun, although I still don't know what to do when I leave school yet!!!! Vaginal dryness is so common, but I love the idea of Flora, the mind boggles!!! There is a pessary you can get from the docs to insert, but would not like to use it long term, incase of adverse side effects! I would not like to use anything scented, or chemically based, anything natural would be heaven if it worked. Scented products can only cause more problems, and women have too many as it is! I think the menopause is what it says on the tin, when problems arise, you definitely have to pause between men!!!!!!

I'm on HRT so holding the problem at bay, but if help is needed then KY is still the most useful standby.

I had an early menopause(42) which I think was. The result of being sterilised. I took Hrt for seven years, really helped with vaginal dryness. Then blood pressurestartedto creep up and I decided to come off HRT. Although gels helped, it was only temporary relief and I spoke to my (female) doctor who recommended oestrogen pessaries. I found that my body tried to reject these and I felt an urgent need to go to the loo and squeeze them out as soon as they started melting. So I went back to the doctor and got some oestrogen cream with an applicator. this works fine for me, only need to use monthly now . The vaginal dryness extends to my perineum, which can crack and get sore if I forget to usethecream. sudocrem helps with this particular problem. luckily I usually have some in the cupboard for when my granddaughter comes to stay .