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My husband has been 'hard of hearing' for a few years. We were once on a train with our grandsons and the youngest said "haw many carriages has this train got Grampy?" My husband replied "No you can't have another bag of crisps"! This story is now family folk law.

It's not just the person who's hearing is sub-par that suffers from deafness - the whole family or social circle can be affected, too. There are two people in my family whose condition reflects this :

A has been profoundly deaf for many years and wears two heavy-duty hearing aids which are pretty effective. Her hearing is still quite feeble, though. She will always let us know if she has missed something in conversation which can make for tedium and frustration all round, when a two-minute discussion about something quite trivial expands to ten minutes or more!

B has age-related hearing loss and wears one hearing aid. Again, her hearing isn't 100%. Unlike A, if she misses something in conversation she will never admit to it, which can lead to her making up her own version of what she thinks she's been told - not always correctly!

My Dad is 89 and also suffers with dementia. He has had severe hearing loss for about a decade and has 2 NHS hearing aids. However the follow-up service is appalling. We've been asking for the last 18 months for a new hearing test as he simply can't hear with them in and goes through a pack of batteries a week! He has the TV up so loud but can't hear it. He's so shut off from conversation and this really doesnt help his dementia either so he's really in his own little world. Its quite sad really. He can't hear music or see to read the subtitles on tv. But he can't afford private hearing aids either so catch 22.
I have recently asked my GP for a referral for a hearing text as, although only just 50, Im also struggling to hear so well in crowds and on tv; Im using the subtitles myself now. Im hesitant to use the NHS after my dad's experience, as well as being so unsightly, but long to hear well.

Bless my grandma her hearing loss got worse as she got older .... She could never hear the door as the tv was always that lound .
God rest her sole

My grandmother and her older sister both had hearing problems. One had hearing aids, the other wouldn't acknowledge she had a problem and due to several other health problems it simply wasn't the highest priority. Luckily their hearing losses were at different ranges so they could 'translate' for each other. I often wish she'd had a hearing aid many years ago.

I suffer from hearing loss, age related, and also tinnitus. I wear an NHS supplied hearing aid, which is very helpful, although the trouble with all hearing aids is that they amplify all sound, whereas the brain in normal hearing has an amazing ability to focus on one particular sound. Like most people, I have problems in pubs, restaurants and social gatherings. I decided a while ago that I needed to approach this differently, rather than the smiling and nodding whilst not really having a clue what was going on. I am now much more assertive - perhaps some would say bolshy - about my needs. For example, if I know that someone is calling me from another room but I can't hear what they are saying, I now ignore them rather than going to find them and apologising for not hearing them. I call this Training Them To Come To Me. In a noisy social gathering, I will ask to sit in the middle, rather than the end and explain the reason for this. I am just much more upfront about my problems than I used to be. Of course, there are times when I just have to get on with things as best I can, but deafness is a hidden problem and I find that when I am more open about it, other people will often go out of their way to be helpful. We can't expect others to be mind readers!

My mother only had 5% hearing in one ear but she attended lip reading classes for three years and remained an adept and avid conversationalist. On the other hand my father who acquired deafness later has two hearing aids which are never pushed properly in his ears, never switched up and basically act as ear plugs!
Most disconcertingly I am now following them down the deafness path and I wonder which sort of deaf person I will be!

My father (93) Has age related hearing loss and wears a hearing aid. He says he can hear us but has difficulty processing what we are saying. When we speak to him, he shouts 'what' before we have finished, so everything has to be repeated a number of times. Unfortunately he is always fiddling with his hearing aid which causes it to 'whistle'. I sense that he just expects that he will not hear what we say, rather than trying to listen! He has the TV turned up so loud that the sound is distorted.

I keep being told to turn the telly down but then I can't hear what's being said. Then the background music blares out too loud if I turn the sound up.

One of my earliest memories was going every week with my mother to visit my grandfather, a widower who was profoundly deaf in one ear, with some very limited hearing in the other. He had been a miner and his hearing loss resulted from an explosion when he was working underground. Even at that very early age, I was acutely aware of how lonely and isolated his life was because of his disability. This was in the days before TV. He had a wireless but even at top volume he could barely make it out. Needless to say, it was impossible to carry on a normal conversation. Everything had to be shouted, and I remember trying to speak in as few words as possible. I vowed then that, if my hearing was to deteriorate, I'd take whatever action was necessary and possible. Last week, my daughter commented on how loud my radio was...I have a test booked for next week!

Deafness is a very difficult disability to live with both for the person suffering and the family. My sister was born deaf due to Treacher and Collis syndrome and as a child I was not too sympathetic. Now my hearing is deteriorating and I appreciate how difficult it can be. As the problem cannot be seen people do not treat you as kindly as some whose disability is visible.
One positive is when I mishear some thing on the radio it can be incredibly funny.

I am becoming hard of hearing. Needing the TV turned up, more than DH. Is the sound quality not as good as it was? My maternal aunt was quite deaf, but mum put that down to her being badly mistreated at school.
Probably need to have it investigated, but having got past the "three score years and ten" things healthwise have plummeted, and am putting it off.

Mum was in denial about hearing loss - and kept missing out on conversation. We had to keep repeating, slowing down and talking loudly - so "fun" conversation was severely limited. She eventaually got a hearing aid ( but didn't want a "visible" one - vanity really) and has struggled with the controls as they are so small.

My hearing loss came about from sitting in a theatre and a gun was fired on stage, as part of the plot. I felt something go in my right ear and I heard a high pitch singing that turned out to be tinnitus. I can't hear the higher end of the scale and recently it was suggested I try hearing aids in both ears to sharpen up my hearing. I have had the aids for about a month now and hardly notice that I'm wearing them. The tinnitus also seems to have receded into the background since I've had them. My husband is reluctant to acknowledge that he has become hard of hearing. Talking to my friends they say much the same about their husbands. Is it a man thing?

I was suffering from dizzy spells and eventually got referred for a hearing test. Apparently I am quite deaf in one ear. I was surprised as I think I can hear ok. They offered me a hearing aid and I thought that seemed ridiculous! I honestly believe I can hear clearly. However my daughter turns our tv down when she visits. She says it's too loud! Perhaps I'm in denial.

My mother in law is 96 and has hearing aids
She was not treated very well at her hospital who spoke to her escort instead of her.I find that if you face a person with poor hearing and speak clearly then they can understand but mum can't tolerate any background loud noises.

My Dad is very deaf. He has always had problems with his hearing after having contracted measles as a little boy in the 1940's.
The television has to be turned up to the maximum for him to enjoy a program, which is very hard for the rest of us who are sitting in the lounge.
I personally, get a headache from the loud noise, and many times my Mum and I leave the room before the end of a program, using the excuse to go and wash up.
I find that we can no longer have a quiet conversation, as my poor Dad often has to have a sentence repeated. Dad thinks that we are whispering.
Dad does get frustrated by the lack of communication. He does have a hearing aid, but he does not like the background noise it emits, so does not wear it all of the time.
It is sad for my Dad, because due to his ill health, his social calendar is very limited.

My mum needs a hearing aid but her GP won't refer her. When we speak to her we make sure we have her attention first, by touching her arm.

I think hearing loss puts a huge strain on family life. For us it was a case of me not wanting to keep repeating myself or shouting at him, and him not wanting to keep asking what I had said.

It lead to a lot of confusion and things not happening the way they should! Hearing aids are a great invention!

My Mother seemed to become deaf gradually. I believe that she did recognize this, though found it difficult to accept. As on hindsight she would guess what had been said to her, sometimes getting it wrong :- Guessing a word which rhymed with what had been said. It turns out that she was lip reading. She had previously worked in a noisy enviroment, and had naturally learnt to lip read. On retiring at 60 years. We had a small party for her birthday. With banners stating Happy Birthday, Happy Hearing. As she had recently got a hearing aid via NHS National Health Service). Unfortunately she would not wear it. Stating it was uncomfortable, and did not help her hearing. So sadly it sat in it's box.

Years later she was offered a new hearing aid, again via NHS. On this occasion it was a digital hearing aid. She had friends with hearing aids, they were older than herself, and she had assisted them on changing battery, adjusting settings etc. She seemed to have a better experience with the digital hearing aid. Possibly due to having encountered them with her friends, and having been given clear verbal information (with myself there at the appointment with her. Possibly reassuring and supportive). The staff gave her an information booklet which she read at home. She seemed to make use of this hearing aid, and quickly became familiar with it :- Thanks to the good level of information etc.

Unfortunately the difficulty my mum does seem to have with her hearing aid is that it seems to amplify background noise/s. Which she finds a nuisance when she is trying to hear voice or voices of those speaking. Maybe some day hearing aid manufacturers will develop a programme for the hearing aid which amplifies the human voice, with background noise reduction.

Deafness does seem to be a common condition. I wonder how I will be as I age. I am glad to have had some information etc from family and friends who have the condition. As this information may be of assistance for myself if I do encounter deafness. As I believe information, peer support etc can be beneficial in adjusting to changing circumstances.

Why have the television booming when you can use wireless headphones. The television and radio can then be at a normal level for everyone and you can get a wonderful sound through a headset, you can have it as loud or soft as you like and not disturb anyone else. You can go out in the garden, still listening, and do the housework and all sorts. When I started telling people I was hard of hearing they invariably said 'Oh sorry I didn't realise' and just walked away - so now I don't bother. I've got 6 hearing aids and less than 35% hearing. Nobody knows how much I can't hear unless I tell them - but like I said, I don't bother.

Hi , read all your messages, and note problems are similar for most.
My own family , both father and mother were deaf by mid forties, though mum died at 42yrs, my sister 8yrs older was deaf at 46yrs with hearing aid, but she lost confidence and would only go out with someone else , but not to social events .
Myself , i started losing hearing, after a very annoying guest in my home , kept Turing the record player volume up full ! I was around 30yrs, managed on lip reading and some guess work; got checked out at NHS Hosp. Given aid for one ear; it was marvellous while at Hosp, but a few hours later , couldn't hardly hear at all, my ear was swelling up and ejecting it! Some while after, i carried aid in pocket, in case it might be useful!

Then I was ill with unknown .....flu cold???? Dr. Gave me antibiotics which did not help, so then two more lots, to bombard it I was told, after which I found I became allergic to many things !
Hearing tests and more aids later still unable to wear them, getting bad tempered with my inability to hear, with family also getting irritated by continual repeats! I went private... Paid £2.500 for a pair of hidden in the ear aids, at first it was like going back 15 yes! Hearing every word clearly, but within the month I was having then adjusted, then again and again, 18mths later they were just a wee bit better than nhs ! And was told I needed to buy another pair of stronger ones at over £3,000, we could not afford to waste more money ! Back to a new NHS pair , these were non allergic , and some what helpful

By now I had become very deaf and at times losing my balance, could not use a phone, and avoiding places where I knew hearing would be beyond me ! 50s hit and life takes whamie from the change of life, confidence almost goes down the drain. I get gibberish and nervous, hrt helps me regain being me ! Still have hearing problems and odd falls !
60s. I learn what my limits are and work at keeping healthy , very mobile, enjoying my life again, 70s. Start with unable to hear at all when lying down, as in bed or bending! Falls increase , some should have killed me...... But I get up and go about surviving, each time. 75yrs. Now totally deaf and very aware of it, still have aids , but if under the weather .. they are fairly useless.
This year I have become even more cut off from those in family,and almost totally from friends, somewhat my fault, as this deafness is a burden everyone has to suffer now, as in famliy and friends !
TV. I watch with text..far from perfect ! Life with hubby non existent , he is difficult and going deaf , though bodily fairly good, as others have said we don't have conversations, he never enjoyed them ! I have become very depressed and lethargic,
Desperately need a few good friends to share an energic life style , a couple of shows and as bus service is free for me, can meet up almost anywhere in Medway Canterbury area ? Anyone out there also in need? Bearing in mind I am deaf,
Oh one last comment , I also say yes to most things said to me ! Lol and embarrassment , humiliation, is what we live with every hour of every day.

My husband was also reluctant to get his hearing sorted and as a result gradually withdrew himself more and more from social situations. Finally I persuaded him to get it checked and as a result he got a hearing aid - no one would have any idea he is wearing it and yet it has done wonders for his confidence. And I am delighted to have the old him back. Ninkynan I hope that you are able to persuade your husband to go too - once he has I am sure that he will wonder why he put it off for so long

My husband's hearing loss has been quite pronounced over the last couple of years. I keep nagging him to do something about it but he won't - I think maybe because he is thinking of the hearing aids his mum used to have which were huge pink things and he is put off by the thought of having those himself. But soon the television will be at a volume that is going to give me hearing lost so I think I am going to have to push him into getting it tested properly and we can take it from there.