With my own children it was never sweets,
and ice cream when on holiday, but not everyday! I was so lucky to have a lovely mother in law ! Also FiL, where ever we went ..they came too !! She was a wonderful help for me and my three loved her dearly!!!, she would buy them sweets of their choice once a week after meeting them from school, she also stay for tea , sometimes taking them up to bed, reading a story. I did not have a mother ; but she was as good as that to me! I loved her too.
I would get magazines for them to read, puzzles, and such each week; and often spent time with them reading these. I gave them choice once old enough ...pocket money or outings ?? They chose the latter. We went to woods for walks and climbing,, boating on river for sons b/day in may, to the beach for July daughter, and early Christmas type party for November one! But it kept home clean and tidy by being out at park , swimming pool, or even a couple of times in year the pics to see Disney or such!
We were not wealthy, but I stretched what we had as far as I could !! Oh also tea with Nana every other Sunday! Plus our fair share of visiting relatives too.
Oh and b/days got bigger presents, as in special! Xmas got smaller gifts from us!
When my grand kids came along, I just kept the same pattern! Except they loved to stay over ! And mum and dad loved it too !!
I never fell out with my offspring regards my being second /substitute mum, I helped share load, we continued doing things together, and GT nan and dad also came too! Until they grew too old! At over 80 yrs !!
Happy days sharing our lives !