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After my mother died, my father was diagnosed with vascular and Alzheimer's dementia. He always seemed so capable, helping mother with her oxygen and mobility as she suffered from COPD. It wasn't until she died that my sisters and I realised how poor his memory had become. My mother had been giving him instructions as to cooking, even making a cup of tea. My sister and I took on the task of assisting him, staying overnight in his home to help if he needed it during the night. As his dementia progressed, we employed a firm of home carers to help look after his day to day needs. This worked very well for several months, but eventually we decided that he needed full time care. He began to suffer from physical ailments eg. Cellulitis, which was treated by the GP and District Nurse team.
He moved into a care home which my sisters chose for him. Called Virginia Lodge, near Longtown in Cumbria, it was all on one level and easy to move around. The manager and all the carers have been magnificent. They all gave Dad time to do anything, were very patient when talking with him, as he list most of his speech, very frustrating for him because he knew what he wanted to say, but couldn't find the words. The staff in the home all loved him, he was with them for eight months. He died in his sleep last Friday. The staff in the home have been so kind and caring towards my sisters and I that I cannot praise them enough.
Dad's funeral is tomorrow, we are going to make a donation to Virginia Lodge from his estate. I will truly miss visiting the home, and all those lovely people.

I broke the humerous bone in my left arm last November, slipped on some mud, but had the presence of mind to slant my body over to the left, so that I did not fall on my back; I have oesteo-arthritis in lower spine. I went down with such a whack! I was treated very well at the hospital, but even though I told them morphine would make me sick; they still administered it! Arrangements were made for carer's to come in to supplement my daughters help and I cannot speak highly enough on the care they gave me. Showered every morning, helped to dress, evening assistance and all in very good humour, tenderness and respect. After three weeks I was able to be a bit more independant, so I did not need them any more. Sincerely, Margaret.

Why do they just want to know about good care?

Probably because they are up to the eyes in reports of bad care. People don't tend to report the good care they get, they take it for granted (as they should do - but it does mean that the overall image is skewed toward the bad stuff)

So should coles not have mentioned the morphine? Will they ignore that?

I have been care home manager at several homes.
Before I became a manager I went Agency, I just wanted to see what happened in other homes not the ones I worked in. I found all sorts.
A bath full of bleach and water ready to receive the draw sheets of the beds in the morning. My gripe was if an elder person got up through the night, who was a little confused, may have thought it had been run for them and tried to get in Unbearable to think about that one. Menus bacon and eggs for breakfest not a rasher of bacon in the place. My biggest bug bare was getting the elder folk up at 4.30 in the morning, so that all the residents would be up and dressed before day staff came in at 7.30am. I was so angry, I refused to get them up, at that time of the morning, and I told the staff why??? It was not allowed as far as I was concerned. I hold my hand up and I complained about it all to the proper people.
I would do it again. I think its time the lay assessors went in again. As the CQC don't get in as oftern as we use to get inspected.

The Admiral Nurse who supports me has made a huge difference in my life. She knew what to say and who to say it to and she has literally saved my fathers life. She has also organised activities for my mother that I didn't know existed and improved the quality of her life. Nobody else offered anything practical, they filled in forms and I never saw or heard from them again. It was so obviously just a job to them. They stole time from me and got paid well for doing nothing. I have no confidence now that there is any other help out there.

I cared for my first husband and carried on working for a year, then full time for a year until he died of a rare lung disease. He needed oxygen 24 hours a day. Our GP, district nurses, palliative care consultant, Marie Curie nurses, even the chap who delivered his oxygen bottles and maintained the oxygen condensers, all gave us both outstanding care, and he got his wish to die peacefully, and pain free at home. The nurses came daily to dress his small wounds which wouldn't heal, and they anticipated our every need, arranging equipment to make our lives easier just at the point where it became necessary. Our GP called regularly, and kept a caring eye on me too. When I look back I don't know how I did it! DH had always been one to go to the pub, and I took him every day, even when he could only sip iced water, I sat in the corner with coffee and the paper while he sat at the bar with his morphine syringe driver in his top pocket and his ambulatory oxygen under his barstool and talked the usual old socks with his mates at the bar! We only stopped going a month before he died, when I really feared he would fall and some kind soul would of course ring for an ambulance, then he would end up in hospital. I did ask the palliative care consultant if the paramedics would be allowed to bring him home if he fell away from home, he said he would raise the issue at the next multi disciplinary meeting, so maybe my DH has made a change there. Apart from a very distressing stay in hospital, when the staff concentrated on his unrelated condition, and didn't notice he was blue when his oxygen ran out, ALL the care we had was outstanding, I couldn't have wished for better. Thank you all.

I worked in a care home in my home town of Wendover and my sister was also looked after there, and the care that the residents get is amazing. For the first time since her dementia had reared its ugly head, my sister had quality of life again. She was talked to, not down to, she had friends, a good network of the staff and other residents, and she had a beautiful room, and my co-workers, the staff would always go above and beyond to make life truly lovely for the people in their care. My friend Jenna would always be there for quarter to 8 (despite her shift not starting until 9:30) simply because one of the residents would only eat her breakfast if she was there!

Another would always bring in her dog because the residents loved having an animal about the place, and another would always be working late just so she could have a game of cards with some of the residents before she went home, this was one of their highlights, and it used to warm my heart that I worked in, and had family living in, such a quality care home. I have heard the horror stories, I have seen some of the elderly in the papers and on the news with bruises on them, to scared to even eat or sleep, and I thank God that there are care homes out there, whose sole aim is to provide a safe haven for folk in their later years. xxx

I have often said the same as you MaggieMay69 regarding people going through the motions of the job and drawing huge salaries without producing any worthwhile outcomes for carers or the people they care for.

That was Nana3. *MaggieMay69 was talking about excellent staff.

It is good to hear about the care homes where they take extra trouble over the patients. Condemn the bad but don't forget to praise the good and hold them up as examples. It encourages them to keep up their efforts, and it encourages others to copy them.

I would like to commend the surgeon at the maxo facial department at Northampton General Hospital who removed my back tooth that was grossly carious. I was apprehensive because I can't stand to get out of my electric wheelchair and can't walk. However the dentist overcame this with the use of the chair's tilt mechanism and was able to treat me in my wheelchair.

Apart from the slightly painful anaesthetic the tooth was removed almost by magic with no pain or even awareness that the tooth had been removed.
Absolutely first class care.

However, some years prior I warned our then MP Sally Keeble that by the NHS introducing an upfront fixed charge for initial dentistry I could foresee that low income young people might be put off. She disagreed. My cousin in his job comes into contact with a lot of young men who although only about 30 have either bad teeth or have had all teeth removed and don't wear dentures. I don't know if there is any research about this correlation?

Sorry Elegran you're quite right thanks for pointing it out, I have just realised that I don't have my reading glasses on so I messed up

Apologies MaggieMay69 my comments were in response to Nana3 not you
I didn't have my reading glasses on . Best wishes.

I agree with you Elegran. We spent ages looking for a good care home for my mother who sadly died only 3 days after moving in. Best wishes

After OH had a stroke some of his medication caused him to have certain toilet troubles.. he couldn't go at all, not even to pass urine.
Obviously this caused him a HUGE amount of distress and as his carer I felt completely useless.

They did everything they could to help and reassure.

The head GP (not sure of technical term) even came out after finishing work one evening, on a cold wet winters night, to bring him some new medication and arranged a district nurse to visit.

It calmed him down, the medication solved the issue and I felt instantly at ease knowing that they really had our best interests at heart.

Our local GP surgery has given us nothing but outstanding care.

I look after my grandson regularly and take him to his dentist appointments. He's always been a quite anxious child and the dentist has been so patient on every visit trying to coax him out of his fear of dentist and eventually it's paid off. I know from friends and other family members that this isn't always the case.

I am a Trustee of a local charity that provides supported living for people with LD, and have found that the staff and everyone associated with the charity is determined to provide the best possible service and life experience to the people they support. New Staff recruitment is not easy, care pay rates are the best we can afford but are a reflection of rates paid by LA, so extras are funded through voluntary funds, but happy staff stay do not move on so the continuity of care is reliant on good staff relationships as well as happy tennants.

My son, Philip, has learning difficulties. When he developed Deep Vein Thrombosis following a flight, he was prescribed warfarin to thin his blood and to cut down the threat of blood clots. This meant I had to take him for blood tests every few weeks.

Phil did not mind the process of having a blood sample taken. The phlebotomists were always caring and did their utmost to reassure him. However, waiting in the local walk-in centre for sometimes over 30 minutes did upset him and he would often become stressed and upset. When the phlebotomists heard of this they arranged for Phil to be fast-tracked when we turned up for his regular blood tests. They had a two stream process already in place, where those who were due to have blood tests following a period of fasting were seen before those who didn't.

I'm not commenting from a carer's perspective, but simply from my own experience of experiences of good care.

My GP is great, but unfortunately, it can be extremely difficult to get an appointment to see her (because everyone else thinks she's great too!). For me, what makes a great GP is that they want to work with me and not simply want to treat me. A good GP isn't afraid to really listen.

I also have a fabulous physio. Again, he really listens and doesn't approach each person's problems from the same angle (even if their problem is identical).

In conclusion, I need to feel in control of my health as much as possible, therefore, for me, the main thing that puts one medical professional a real cut above the others is that they listen and work with me.

At 8 months old my son now 17 contracted meningitis which has left him deafblind cerebral palsy epilepsy and tube fed. He has frequent hospital admissions in a busy hospital. All the staff however busy are brilliant with him tapping the bed before touching him so not to make him jump, learning his individual "on body" sign language and treating him with total respect despite his learning disability. And taking care of his poor old Mum!!

They are stars