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We have an elderly neighbour with a personal alarm, which is excellent except when her phone is out of order, which has happened a few times lately. As a consequence, because the phone line is down the personal alarm does not work. This is a big problem which the personal alarm company says they can not do anything about. It is very worrying for the poor person who is left without any way of calling for help.

I have had one for several years as I fall frequently. The last time I had just stripped to get into my night things for bed when:- down I went giving myself a de gloving injury to the arm in the process!
The bedroom looked like a chainsaw massacre scene.
As my next door neighbors were away on holiday it was my 6' 3" hulk of a Gardner who answered the alarm.
Rather embarrassing, but, he managed superbly. Dressed my arm, got me into night things then lifted all 14 stone of me into bed.
He also cleaned up all the blood!

My elderly mother has a personal alarm however we have encountered two problems:
1) She refuses to wear it. Indeed, even after falling and only being able to summon help from a neighbour by luck rather than anything else, she still refuses to wear it. When asked why she doesn't want to wear it, she only responds, "I'm all right!" with no further explanation and she is certainly not confused. This behaviour is not atypical as she has resisted using a walking stick, bath seat and other such equipment which would increase her independence, safety etc.
2) After a few years of the alarm being installed the person who was named as the first person to be called in the event of the alarm being activated managed to lose my mother's keys and my mother now refuses to let them have any more.
Needless to say, both of these issues have caused me much concern, but I must respect the fact that my mother is making her own choices about how she wishes to live her life and what risks she wishes to take (and I do).
I would also point out that if families are fractured then the list of named contacts can also cause problems. For example, when I suggested that we proceed with getting the alarm (with my mother's full agreement) I suggested that the people listed as contacts be based in order of who was nearest to her and who my mother was happy to have her keys. This was on the basis that one of the key issues is that the people should be available and able to respond promptly. My mother was happy with this reasoning and also the three people to be listed (which included myself as the second person to be contacted as I was second nearest). My sister, who lives further away than I do, threw a complete paddy at the suggestion that that she be the third person on the list after me and insisted that she be the second person to be contacted, despite this not being so practical and the inherent delay to any response being achieved. Fearful my mother would change her mind and decline the personal alarm in view of my sister's position, I agreed that my sister be named as the second person and myself as the third. My view is that my sister is putting her own issues in the forefront rather than prioritising my mother's safety and well being. Indeed, as I write this, I think that anyone reading this might imagine that my sister and I are very young and immature and part of me feels very embarrassed at this state of affairs as this is really not something about which siblings should be arguing. Sadly my sister is much older than me at 62 years of age.
I hope no one else has these challenges!

My husband has one of these alarms, but supplied through the local council, free set up and only 36p a month to pay. We couldn`t have afforded it otherwise. We haven`t needed to call them on it yet, butI did have to reassure them that we were alright a few weeks ago, I was grilling sausages and forgot to open the back door, and it set the smoke alarm off that was included in the package!

My mother in law reluctantly had a personal alarm but she never had it in reach. When moving around it was always stuffed down the side of the chair so when she did have a fall she could not summon help. We could never resolve this as she just did not grasp the importance of easy summoning of help.i think the problem of elderly confusion is a real issue and it is then that the personal alarms do not serve their purpose as the user does not remember or understand how to use.

My Mother in law has one of these as well as pull cords. She never used it, just kept it safe in the drawer. After she fell and broke her shoulder, she started using it....for a while. I think it is a potch for her to wear. She would be more likely to wear a watch type one, but still not very likely.

I wonder if someone could invent an even smaller one, designed like a ring with an onyx or jewel button that would look Ok to wear all the time and so wouldn't be taken off. That way, people wouldn't forget/not bother to put it back on.

Actually, I'd love there to be a ring one by the time I need one )

Not good when doing the dishes though!

After Dad died and Mum was left alone she had one of these alarms and wore it around her neck. At night she took it off and put it on the bedside table.
Then at age 83 she had a stroke during the night, woke hardly able to move but managed to reach her alarm and call for help - they came very quickly. Then she rang us - living quite close at the time, so we went. By the time we got there she was in hospital.
But if it had been a more serious stroke she wouldn't have been able to speak or use the alarm.
Still for non life threatening conditions, such as falls and minor strokes, the alarms are very good.

My husband doesn`t wear his, he keeps it upstairs near the bed, because if anything happens downstairs there`s always someone here. His package also includes a fall alarm, similar in that it`s worn around the neck, if the wearer falls it activates the alarm, and if nobody responds to enquiries after 20 seconds, the names on the list are contacted. Trouble is, he doesn`t wear that either!

My slightly older friend down the road had one after several falls on the insistence of his daughters, and we were the first call. As he became more and more unsteady we were called three or four times a week, which we didn't mind. He had been a rock for me when my first husband was ill, and my second husband is strong enough to lift him off the floor. But one week we were called twice in the wee small hours, which we responded to of course. Then it transpired that the call centre didn't know that he had a key safe outside his front door, and it is their policy to call for a paramedic to assist at night. We were never called again as sadly he died shortly after.

If I lived alone I would not hesitate to wear one. The biggest problem I found when I worked with older people was that if you did not have a neighbour or family close by who could be first responders then you would not be given one. There are a lot of older people, who for a variety of reasons, good and bad, do not have someone nearby who they can ask to be a responder and are arguably most in need of one.

I also think that perhaps we ought to extend the range of people we offer these alarms to. DH's job meant that he often travelled abroad and to remote and, not necessarily salubrious places. I used really worry about being alone at home with the children and what would happen if anything happened to me or I was really ill. Fortunately my DS was a very sensible and thoughtful child and by the age of three I had shown him how to use the phone to dial 999 and say his name and address and that there was a problem with his mummy and was confident he would do so. Many single mothers would benefit from having one.

Now so many people of all ages live alone, we should perhaps extend the range of people who get them and that would possibly encourage more older people to use them because they will not feel so stigmatised and defined as old and vulnerable if they have one.

It's been interesting to read the comments so far, as this is something I've considered.
I live alone. My daughter lives 200 miles away, and my son in Spain. Last year, I fell downstairs. My knee simply gave way. I managed to get into bed, hoping it would all be better in the morning. It wasn't. As it was a Sat, this meant a trip to A&E rather than my local surgery. I then decided to have a shower before taking myself off to A&E....Silly, I know
In the shower, my knee gave way again and I lay there thinking: Silly bu***er, this is what happens when you're older and live alone.
I did eventually manage to get out and phone a friend, who knew where I kept my spare key.
Outcome: badly torn ligaments.....and thinking about a personal alarm. However, I decided that, as I wouldn't have been wearing it in the shower...and was otherwise quite fit... I'd prefer for now to simply give my friend a spare key....and defer a decision on an alarm.

I have started to make sure that I have my mobile on me at all times. While I shower it is in the bathroom where I could reach it from the floor - I hear of more falls in bathrooms than anywhere else. I am not unsteady enough to need an alarm on a cord yet.

I asume everyone is aware that if you are not compos mentis enough to tell the paramedics who to contact when they cart you away, they will look in your mobile or on your landline for the person or persons you have noted as In Case of Emergency - ICE oppsite their name(s)

My mother in law had one, but would not wear it as she said it hurt her skin. After a few falls in the garden, she decided to go into a home as she was scared of falling when on her own. She never believed the alarm would work.
My dad had one, and really looked forward to the weekly test conversations.

My husband had one provided by the council costing £9 per week. He could not be left alone with it, as he would not remember what it was for and would press the button to find out what happened. That was only for four months. After he died, the council took it back, as they said I did not need one. When I did need one I managed to get to the phone.

My husband's elderly cousin pressed his alarm when he fell off his chair in the kitchen. We were alerted and rushed round there to help him.

We opened the front door and were met with a wave of heat. The kitchen door was slightly ajar and we could just see Brian lodged against the door.

He had indeed slipped off his chair and was unable to get up. We gently tried to open the kitchen door and encouraged Brian to wriggle out of the way. It was a struggle but gradually we managed to get into the kitchen.

Brian had felt cold earlier in the evening and had lit the gas burners on the hob to get warm. He'd also turned on the oven but it wasn't lit. The kitchen was like a sauna and Brian lay sweating where he had fallen. He'd cut his head and it was still bleeding. As well as us, the ambulance service had been alerted and they arrived just as we were turning off the gas burners.

I shudder to think what would have happened to Brian if he hadn't had his alarm. Between us, we sorted him out and he continued to live independently until he died at home of natural causes.

That alarm was an absolute godsend and was the single thing that allowed Brian to live at home, as he wanted.

My very elderly mother has at last agreed to have a personal alarm. She has good friends/neighbours close by but they are often away. So there is a keysafe located outside the house discretely situated. The Alarm company know the code and will pass on to emergency services.

My niece is a nurse and warns of the danger of bathrooms... I think this one is waterproof? I doubt it is left 'on' in the shower. At night she leaves it on a chair on the landing arguing she has a phone beside her bed.

I like the fact that it operates a good distance outside the house so covers the gardens. She once fell on the road outside the house and no one came or noticed her.

One hurdle to get over was the need to locate the "box" operating it handy where there was an electric supply and a phone line. The company use the box as a contact point and not the phone. I am not sure if they will phone the normal phone if no response to the monitoring box?

My own experience has been similar to those already posted. At present an elderly mother-in-law and aunt both have alarms. One never liked the idea because she felt it undermined her independence the other decided she needed one after having a fall and waiting hours before she was able to pull the alarm in her flat (she lives in a warden assisted property).

One now has no idea what it is for, forever forgets where she last put it and at one time was putting it on out of habit but we felt she thought of it as a piece of item to put on when getting dressed but hoped that if the need arose she might actually remember what it is fo,r but doubt it really. The other is still mobile and remembers what it is for but has thankfully had no need for it since her fall about a year ago.

I have had several experiences with this type of alarm.

My father had one which he wore all the time, and used on four or five occasions. I lived over an hour away and he was fortunate to have a neighbour who was happy to be called any time. The system was a literal life saver for him.

DMiL had a pendant alarm that she wore under her clothes. She was very fashion conscious and could see the benefits (and there were many family members nearby to call) but she thought it was 'ugly'. We tried a watch-bracelet type one, but she hated the fact that her friends would see it. She was in her nineties and so were her friends, but pride was more important than safety.

DH had a pendant one but by the time it was needed, he was too confused by dementia and strokes to be able to remember to use it when he needed help. He never did, despite four life-threatening occasions. Even now, in residential care, he doesn't use his call bell. I am relieved that they check on him regularly. When he was at home, the anxiety and the lack of sleep caused by doing this myself, was exhausting emotionally and physically.

Now I live alone and I can see the benefits but can't afford one. When I investigated, I was told that as I had no one within ten minutes who could respond to the alarm day or night, I did not qualify.

So the more alone you are, the less support you get!

There is no easy solution. I think on reflection that they are frequently more for the relatives' benefit and peace of mind than the person wearing them. Perhaps we do need to respect people's wishes for independence, however foolish it may seem to us.

Atul Gawande makes this point in his book Being Mortal, which explores the different attitudes of the generations to the same problem. I found it very thought-provoking, now that I am making the transit from being the solution to other people's care issues to potentially being the cause of anxiety myself.

Shinyredcar, have you enquired at your local council about these alarms? We said we couldn`t afford for my husband to have one, until we were contacted by Mayflower, which is connected to the council. Instead of the initial cost of setting up of around £120, then just over £3 a week running costs, we got free set up, and 36p a week to run it. As well as the pink and white pendant alarm, there`s another pendant fall alarm included, plus 2 smoke alarms and one carbon monoxide detector, at no extra cost.

WE have the pendent system fitted in our home we had it installed for hubby during the times I am away or at work,he has never had to use it but it does give him and me peace of mind knowing if he had a bad asphma attack help would be at hand quickly and I would be informed straight away,it is worth every penny for the worry it takes from you.

We got a personal alarm on a local scheme for my 87 year old mother in law it came on a brooch which proved to be a bit of an issue as she kept forgetting to unpin it & put it on her night clothes or clean clothing.
She did however use it on 1 occasion after a fall & help arrived very quickly so we were relived she had used it

My elderly dad had one through his council property so it was free. He had a necklace type but it was often hanging up on the mantle-piece rather than on his neck! In hindsight I think he was beginning to suffer with dementia so couldnt understand when to use it as would wear it in bed or going to the shops! Trouble was, if he fell there was no one except my husband (with his bad back) to lift him up! The alarm people wouldnt go out and see if he was ok or lift him etc so only really an alert service, which we didnt really realise initially. He fell fairly frequently in the end but most times managed to get himself up (even in the garden) and completely forgot about pressing the alarm so it turned out to be a false reassurance for us. Ideally technology will improve and maybe home sensors will automatically alert people in the future, or a home computer that spoke and monitored things would be fantastic, and not have to rely on peoples pride/mental faculties getting in the way!

My only experience of the alarm is with a close family member, I think they are a great idea but because she had dimensia she refused to wear it because it was unfamiliar. In the end we opted for a sensor alarm system that meant that help could be called with her needing to active it. However I think they give security to older people who live on their own that they can get help and can help them to love independantly for longer.