Gransnet forums

Sponsored discussions

   Please note: This topic is for discussions paid for by Gransnet clients. If you'd like to have your own paid for discussion thread, please feel free to mail us at [email protected] If you are a journalist, start-up or student and you want to request feedback from gransnetters, please post in Media Requests.

Helping a family member buy their first home - your questions answered

(80 Posts)

GNHQ have commented on this thread. Read here.

LibbyGransnet (GNHQ) Mon 12-Jul-21 09:04:21

This Q&A is now complete - there will be no further answers posted.

Lending or gifting money to family doesn’t come without challenges - it’s a big commitment for both you and them. If you’re thinking of taking the step to help a loved one get onto the property ladder, and you have a question about how it might affect your future plans, this is your chance to ask the experts.

The experts:
Graham Sellar, Head of Mortgage Development, Santander - Graham has more than 30 years of experience working in financial services, and has been a mortgage specialist at Santander since 1996. He is regularly quoted as an expert voice in the media on all things mortgage related.

Hayley Burton, Financial Planning, Santander - Hayley has 25 years of experience in retail banking and 6 years’ experience in the wealth area, where she leads teams across the UK who provide expert, trusted investment and protection advice to customers based on their individual needs and to achieve their financial goals. Hayley is also a Mum and Step Mum to three children aged between 11-16, and so she’s regularly thinking of ways to help her children financially in the future.

Linda Murray, Regional Manager, Santander - Linda has worked in banking for 35 years across a broad spectrum of areas including mortgages, risk and most recently face to face banking in Santander branches. At work, she’s particularly passionate about supporting customers to help them make informed choices about their banking. Linda is also a single mum to her 24 year old daughter, Charlotte. She’s looking to support Charlotte financially and emotionally when she buys her first home.

Do you have questions around what to consider when deciding to help loved ones? Or perhaps you’d like to know more about what help you could provide (financial and non-financial)? And if you do help with a gift, loan or early inheritance, would it have an implication on your own future? The Santander experts are here to help and will be back to answer some of your questions between 26 July and 6 August.

All who post a question (regardless of whether it is answered or not) will be entered into a prize draw where one GNer will win a £200 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!


Insight Terms and Conditions apply

albertina Fri 16-Jul-21 16:00:44

There is nothing I would like better than to help my family. I have helped my daughter and her husband buy a second home by giving them £ towards it but now I have no £ to spare.

Is there anything that someone in my position can do with meagre funds ?

Direne3 Sat 17-Jul-21 12:55:04

I'd love to gift a house deposit to each of our grand-children but when one has 9 it would be but a drop in the ocean,

maisietoo Sat 17-Jul-21 18:12:08

I remember going to the bank/building society when my parents helped me with a deposit. I'd like to help my children. What's the best way to save for them as it is not on the cards right now.

Lisapaige24 Sun 18-Jul-21 10:37:27

I would like to know what I have to do about giving my daughter a deposit for her first home as she isn’t married to her partner my daughter has a child from a previous relationship but her partner doesn’t have any money to put in for the deposit how does she protect this money I am gifting her as if there relationship doesn’t last and they sell the house or she buys them out is the deposit taken into account in the the resale ?

jollo Mon 19-Jul-21 09:17:45

I decided to start a junior SIPP for my grandson instead

Bevmichelle7 Tue 20-Jul-21 10:51:12

How can my daughters grandmother gift her a big lump sum, should gran put it into a savings account ie/. isa etc., for her or give her the cash towards abuying a house?

gran1 Tue 20-Jul-21 14:49:50

I am thinking about giving or possibly lending money to my daughter to get on the property ladder by buying a small flat.
Having read through all the other contributors' comments, many of which are negative about Santander, I wonder what Santander offers in this area that is unique and why I should choose them to explain my best options?

J52 Tue 20-Jul-21 15:38:09


I would like to know what I have to do about giving my daughter a deposit for her first home as she isn’t married to her partner my daughter has a child from a previous relationship but her partner doesn’t have any money to put in for the deposit how does she protect this money I am gifting her as if there relationship doesn’t last and they sell the house or she buys them out is the deposit taken into account in the the resale ?

We did this for DS and took advice from a separate solicitor who was a property specialist. The couple buying the house had a Deed of Trust drawn up to protect their interests.
It was very comprehensive and included protection of monies put into the deposit, how any profit from a sale should be divided up, and what would happen if either party installed a new partner into the property.
I suggest if you are gifting a substantial amount a solicitor’s advice is sought.

jeanio Tue 20-Jul-21 22:52:55

I would like to help my daughter to get on the property ladder by giving her a lump some as a deposit but I worry that she might not be able to keep up the mortgage payments as her job is not permanent at the moment.

ems07957 Tue 20-Jul-21 23:03:55

What's the most I can give without incurring tax?

RainbowChild Wed 21-Jul-21 09:28:35

It’s my understanding that if you gift a sizeable amount to a son or daughter etc but then pass away within 7 years of gifting it that they then would be liable for inheritance tax. Some sort of tax always seems to get you one way or another!

TM12 Wed 21-Jul-21 19:29:36

What happens if my husband and I give a financial gift of money from our joint account to our grandchildren for a deposit on a house and one of us dies before the 7 year cut off date for tax purposes?

Susiewusie100 Wed 21-Jul-21 22:04:21

Is it best to give the kids money before we are gone or leave it to them?

marymod Thu 22-Jul-21 00:13:00

I'd love to gift my son some money for him to use as a deposit but would like to protect it in some way so that it remained his and could not be shared in the event of a relationship split.

cathryn1 Thu 22-Jul-21 07:01:31

looking at using some our equtity but want to safeguard our money in case they split up

Allsorts Thu 22-Jul-21 07:16:47

Ninny, with a joint account it is usually acceptable for either if the account holders to withdraw money, unless when you opened the account you stated it needed both. I made that mistake many years ago and was cleaned out left with children to raise. You can’t beat a High Street Bank, where the manager and staff know you and hear alarm bells, unfortunately we are all just numbers now.
I have helped mine financially.
If you gift money you risk them losing half if the relationship ends, but if you left it to them when you die, the same could happen,

Yolostela Thu 22-Jul-21 10:01:18

We loaned money to our son for a few months as his girlfriends house hadn't sold. It was paid back as soon as they completed. We didn't charge interest.

lollipop123 Thu 22-Jul-21 11:34:52

I’m not in a position where I need to help out just yet but I’m really worried about the best way to go about it when I do. I have 2 daughters who I would love to help out with their own properties but want to know the best way to do it that won’t mean I lose out to the tax man. Don’t understand how if I’ve paid my income tax already on the money I’ve worked so hard for, how I could be liable for being taxed again if I gift it to my children.

BravaJoseph Thu 22-Jul-21 11:53:49

What exactly is Inheritance Tax ?
How can the average 50+ pensioner navigate it legally ?

shanti Thu 22-Jul-21 12:40:23

I am keen to help with the deposit but would it be possible to set it up so when the house is sold I get my amount of the deposit back? This way it could then be available for another family member.

shaddai88 Thu 22-Jul-21 13:38:21

I gifted my children a small lump sum of money each when they were purchasing a house as they needed help with them deposit. I did specify it was towards the house. I had to sign a declaration that the money was a gift from their Mortgage provider.

Cat1980uk Thu 22-Jul-21 18:47:51

I don't have the money to buy for myself let alone for others. If I had the money I definitely would buy for my son

hopezibah Thu 22-Jul-21 23:38:33

Would love to know more about how to be able to help your children get on the property ladder in the most efficient way - i.e. is there a way to keep part ownership of a property but for the mortgage to mainly be the responsibility of the child (i.e, not an actual child but your grown up children). It's not something we've ever looked into before but as our son hits university age, we'd rather be putting money towards a home than just paying for rental accommodation for all those years if that is a possibility. Depends on many factors as to whether we could actually do it and where he ends up living as some areas the prices would be way to high to even contemplate this.

msamaranth Fri 23-Jul-21 11:46:49

This is something we are planning shortly, eldest son has just gone through a marriage breakdown. Is there anyway we can say the money we gift him can only go to him or my grandson in the event of him forming a new relationship and wanting a joint mortgage again?

SantanderExperts Mon 26-Jul-21 14:54:14

Hello - Graham, Hayley and Linda here! We're really pleased to be answering your questions this week. It can be really difficult to know where to start if you're thinking of helping a loved one buy their first home, so we've got lots of tips to help get you started.