Cosmetic Surgery: am I Mad?

I'm so miserable about how thin my hair has become that, if there was a surgical procedure that would make it thicker [and I could afford it] I probably would have it done. And, if it's a part of the body that diet, exercise or wearing different clothes can't improve, there would be a temptation perhaps. I had a friend who had her puffy eyes improved and she felt loads better afterwards; and she's probably always been the most confident person I've ever known.

minette But none of us has the slightest idea what gettingonabit looks like so there' no sensible advice we can give about improving her drooping eyelids or dealing with her marionette lines or telling her that she looks fabulous and only half her age. All the stuff about reputable and qualified plastic surgeons has been all over the television and probably every women's magazine in existence recently. That some of us are horrified by the mere suggestion of cosmetic surgery is also no help because quite clearly gettingonabit isn't or she wouldn't be contemplating it in the first place.

absent - isn't the point of asking a question like this on a forum is that you can get well-rounded opinions from people you don't know? I find that friends can sometimes have an agenda based on the relationship you have with them and that it can be very helpful to read opinions from a wide variety of people. We might not all know each other but we have Gransnet in common at least.

gettingonabit - yes - it is a very personal choice. I fear that there is too much pressure from the media to look a certain way and have decided to embrace ageing and all that comes with it and stuff what anyone else thinks. If you are doing it for others then I would say don't. If you are doing it for yourself - then why not - as long, of course, as you are aware of all the risks.

Just imagine if we all looked like Joan Rivers? But then, thinking about it, she probably wouldn't still be working in the media if she hadn't had all those facelifts. The only woman that seems to have got away with ageing in the public eye is Joan Bakewell, but then she has the sort of beautiful face that gets better with age.

IMO I could not consider cosmetic surgery, I will just grow old disgracefully and every line and wrinkle tells a story.

gettingonabit At 53 you are old enough to make up your own mind without consulting a bunch of strangers.

barrow

johanna I disagree, I don't have children and hence no grandchildren but I accept the fact that I am getting older and look it - my late husband used to say he like my lines as he had given me every one!

johanna. Not sure about that. I think that seeing yourchildren grow [and then your grandchildren] make you much more aware of the passage of time. I can't believe that my little babes are now in their thirties, and I am now the woman that used to be my grandmother.

Hi gettingonabit - I understand how you feel, but you're young! I am still out there in a corporate job in the public eye (I'm 64) and in the past 4 years or so the skin underneath my chin appears to have said goodbye to my neck and just hangs there collecting in a little puddle at the base. And I feel that it is affecting my confidence. So I've been investigating non surgical improvements. Apart from the fact that 'going under the knife' is quite extreme, it is darn expensive. Also - I was having a good look at Ann Robinson the other day who has made no secret of her facelift. IMHO her eyebrows are overdone (I've yet to see a brow lift that doesn't leave the person looking permanently surprised) - Ann's disappear way up in under her fringe. And if her face no longer looks its age, her arms are certainly do, so where do you stop? Non-surgical procedures have made such great strides in recent years, I'd not go for the knife until I'd exhausted all other avenues.

Just having a think here.
Does anyone think that women who have children and then become grandmothers deal with the ageing process much more naturally than those without off spring or even grand children?

For myself, I have become much more relaxed about whether I look young or not, as the case may be , since I became a grandmother.

As a grandmother I could not imagine myself EVER wanting plastic surgery.
Not that I did consider that before, purely because I think it to be ridiculous to undergo major surgery for the hell of it.

...and how many men would think this way?

The corporate wilderness sounds like a good place to be! If you cannot enter that world without changing who you are, then maybe it is not a good place to be.

Lots of people make lots of money out of making women feel bad about how they look - do not give them the satisfaction of success!

Gentle tweaking's fine, in my opinion - but you did refer to invasive cosmetic surgery, which is another thing entirely. I do understand that you need to boost your confidence in order to get back into the workplace, but do you really think you need to put yourself through the trauma of such surgery?

Thanks all. I was expecting to be flamed, and I appreciate your observations. Basically, after a good few years in the corporate wilderness, I need to get back to work, and I feel that a bit of tweaking would help my confidence. I look after myself in other respects and take a good deal of pride in my presentation generally, so consider some gentle tweaking to be necessary maintenance.

I think that we should accept the effects of ageing with a good grace. Give the money that you would have spent on surgery to a charity that helps people who need the basics - water and food.

We should make the best of ourselves and not succumb to losing a pride in our appearance, but maybe we should be proud of how we look as we age. The worship of youthful looks is counter-productive - we all grow older and cannot spend our retirement feeling disappointed with ourselves.

There are changes to my body as I age which I would prefer not to have - but I simply would not dream of entering into surgery. I accept that this is part of the pattern of life.

Unnecessarily going under the knife? Certainly not for me. Anaesthetic has a nasty effect on me and I have sworn that unless it's a matter of life and death or relief from grievous pain, I will keep away from the operating theatre - even if I win the lottery.

All surgery comes with risks.
There is a big industry out there trying to make women feel bad about themselves and telling them that they will feel happier if they buy surgery. There is no evidence that they are.
It often looks unnatural and result not good - Naomi Campbell for instance has ruined her beauty in my opinion.
on older women it often creates a weird surprised look.
The best face lifts are very subtle. I remember seeing mary archer talking and thinking, mmm, yes, that must be what a good one looks like.
Streep too must have had some work done without making her look like mask-woman.
But if it does not work out, you are stuck with it.

It wouldn't be permanent though gettingonabit , nothing is.

Your question gettingon
" Am I mad ? "
Answer: " Yes, stark raving mad."

Having seen my daughter's life ruined by unnecessary surgery, I can only tell you that I would never have any surgery that was not life-saving. How much research have you done into the success rate of various procedures and the experience of different surgeons. I think I am right in saying that any qualified surgeon can perform plastic surgery, not only those with specalist qualifications.
I would be interested to know how you think your life would be improved by this surgery?

I so agree kitty....and by 63 would there be anything left to do if you start this early

Can I just say that, from my standpoint of 63, 53 is a bit young to be thinking you are getting on a bit! I thought we decided that 60 was the new 40

Vain or self-obsessed? I think neither.

I've seen many a face lift, some better than others.

As long as you choose a reputable surgeon and have realistic expectations, why not?

If I could afford it I'd have a bit of 'tweaking'!

I don't know, gettingonabit. I don't know you or what you look like, or why you want these procedures done. Perhaps if you told us a bit more about yourself?