Dressing fearlessly: throwing out the style rule book

I don't like them at all, so don't have the problem of worrying whether or not one would suit me!

All that material flapping about and getting in the way would be a nightmare, I'd imagine, especially if you were caught in a downpour without an umbrella (and even with one it could be tricky...)

Alea ? You probably are the tall slim type who can carry it off, I certainly have honest friends though who tell it like it is, ( although I would prefer the sycophantic ones.) However the best and truest comment will come from our daughters who are generally fearless in the truth dept on how Mum looks.
The thing is for me, that regardless of how they look, I woukd like them if they didn't fall off in the way Elegran so amusingly describes.

Well if Loopylou, Coolgran and I can get away with it, I am sure you can. I was going to suggest trying on a (really) cheap one in Tesco or Sainsbury's, but I certainly would not be put off by the naysayers who claim you've got to be 5'9" with legs up to here

Thank you all for the honest comments on the blanket wrap thingy. My main fear is that I shall resemble a sack of spuds! I decided to give one a try because DD looks great in hers and she is only 5' and also has slightly chunky legs. I have ordered a fancy kilt pin to secure it if necessary. I shall let you know how I get on, and after all it is not a great deal of money lost even if I only use it around the house.

At (almost) 62 I've probably bought, worn and thrown out most of the fashion clothes there have been over the years and twice round at that! I don't go out very often so tend to live in jeans or leggings with long jumpers but if I've a business meeting or the accountant coming in (I work from home) I will put on a dress or skirt and top. I have several poncho/shawl type garments that I've thought would be warm to work in but agree they fall off and are pretty unflattering and I have 3 wardrobes full of clothes I've not worn for ages. Most of these have been 'kept for best' aka I've not had occasion to wear them and now they're either the wrong season (too cold/too hot), too tight (note to self diet begins next week) or I realised they were an inappropriate impulse purchase. I've more boots than I could possibly wear if I lived another 40 years and coats which will see me through to the next ice age. Do I dress inappropriately for my age - I don't think so - should I stop buying clothes - definitely!!

And me too *
Strange really as I have been approached by several complete strangers complimenting me and saying they love my wrap and where did I buy it?!

I too say go for it shysal! It'll be useful indoors too when it's chilly.

Well that's me put in my place
Oddly enough I have had compliments and no comments about being badly or unflatteringly dressed,or even bell tents/short fat gunslingers/sacks of potatoes/tarpaulins/or barrage balloons, but then maybe my friends are sycophantic hypocrites with no taste whatsoever.
Go with it shysal trust your own judgement.

If you can't just ignore what you are wearing and get on with what you are doing, then you are not dressing fearlessly, you are in thrall to your clothes. What others think of you doesn't come into it. Wearing what you like, what makes you feel happy and comfortable, makes your own style.

elegran

elgran

I don't want to wear something that I know will look and feel like a tarpaulin that has been dropped carelessly onto a barrage balloon, will slide off one shoulder into the mud unless I hang on to it with one hand and will let icy winds in at either side.

Not even to imagine I look stylish - because I won't, I've worn one and it was the garment from hell. I would look and feel like an old woman who has had to get out of bed to answer the doorbell and has grabbed a blanket to cover her confusion, then had to let go of it to take a parcel and felt it slip aside and frighten the postman.

I have several woollen wraps, most from TK Maxx. One red/ one grey/ one black
Then I have the pashminas (sp) half a dozen in different weights, nice pinks/purples/greens.
Weather permitting that's what I'll wear before I'd wear a coat. Just throw it on. If in the cinema etc it will roll up nicely, inside out, and go underneath the seat.

But only wraps or a pashmina, they drape so well, up over one shoulder at the front and if necessary I use a kilt pin to secure it.... high up on the shoulder not on the front like a brooch.

But never a poncho, they are definitely 'a la gunslinger' and hang from my boobs like a circus tent. Wraps are totally different (I find ).

Certainly throw away the rule book, but why wear clothes that are unflattering?

I will certainly not wear clothes because they are considered age appropriate, but I will always, and have always, consider my shape and whether the clothes I buy are flattering to it. I still have long slim legs and I am happy to wear jeggings and narrow leg trousers, but I have never had a waist so avoid anything with a belt or any close fitting dresses. Because I have narrow shoulders I also avoid anything that relies on staying on my shoulders, like wraps, and wide necked clothes and I usually have to do up at least one button on coats and jackets to stop them slipping off at least one shoulder.

If anyone is ever going to comment on how I look I would prefer it to be because I look well put together and not because I am so badly and unflatteringly dressed.

Plus it's a fine line between dressing fearlessly and looking crazed.

I hate wraps, shawls, ponchos etc. Unless you are tall and slim they make you look like a short fat gunslinger ( the iPad wanted ginslinger, and maybe that is better?) plus the fact that they slide off you and you need to be grabbing at them all the time! Buy a cosy long cardigan instead or a jacket.

M0nica, I don't 'get' the invisibility thing either. I have not, so far, had any problems attracting the attentions of waiters or bar staff, though I'm obviously no longer as young and attractive as I once was (?) , I do find a nice smile goes a long way and always has. I daren't refer to it as a 'come hither' look nowadays!

Oh what the heck! The point about throwing away the rule book is to wear what you like
I am 5'2" and have 4 different "wraps/serapes/ponchos" in different colours. Swamped? I don't think so.
Comfortable? Yes.
Handbag? Across the body under the wrap usually. Job done.
So don't worry about what you think you might look like, give it a go. If you don't like it, don't buy it!

What is the Great Menopausal Mind-Shift or mind shift that happens around 60? It has clearly passed me by. The only effect the menopause had on me was weight gain, and that has been dealt with.

I am still the person I always was, I think and act - and dress, in much the style I always did and have never had any kind of specific age mindset. I can see that health problems are obviously going to affect how you see the world, especially with ME/CFS, which I have some experience of, but I remain convinced that invisibility is a mental construct. I get served in bars, shops or anywhere else. I do not get overlooked because I do not expect to be.

I am glad you have discovered Advance Style, I bought the book about 3 years ago and often dip into the website. There was a film came out last year (2015)called 'Iris' and it follows the life of Iris Apfel, one of the inspirations for Advanced Style and still a mover and shaker and eye popping stylish dresser in her mid 90s. I am sure she is never treated as if she was invisible.

I'm 60, M0nica. I'm 'older' than I should be due to ME/CFS - and determined to get to grips with my realities instead of hoping it'll all get better.

I actually like the invisibility thing, but went through a few years of feeling rather miffed about it. Well into my (toned, exercised & polished) middle age, people did look at me and it wasn't hard to get served at a crowded bar, for instance. The sexual harassment was an unwelcome part & parcel of all that.

A few years on, the Great Menopausal Mind-Shift kicked in. I discovered I no longer gave a flying fuck what anybody thinks of me and no longer held back on giving verbal short shrift, whether barmen who don't "see" me or sex pests who (presumably) imagine I'll be grateful for a grope. If I were to meet my 30-year-old self now, I'd be sorry for her lack of deep-seated confidence when she had so much going for her ... and I actually think she'd be awestruck by me while also sorry for my lack of physical & financial resources.

For me, the fashion thing's all part of the mental shift that would be happening around this age, disabilities regardless. I want to make the most of what I am now.

I have just read GarlicCake's thread on Mumsnet but found all the posts going on about ageing when they all seem to be about 35 very odd. The other thing was that they kept going on about being invisible. Well I am 72 and I am still waiting for invisibility to strike.

I think invisibility is a mental construct, if you expect to be invisible you will be.

You asked for an honest opinion, so here goes. I like the fashion because I also find coats too warm a lot of the time. But I'm tallish and overweight and suspect I would probably look like a bag of spuds. At 5'3" though I think it will swamp you. My guess is the model is at least 5'9" and size 10. If you like the style then I would buy one from a petite range so it's sized to be worn by some of your height, or maybe just look for a smaller one made from less fabric so it's in proportion.

I have one to wear outside when wearing something lightweight to a smart events. I find it irritating to wear and would not want to wear it other on the brief journey between car and event.

I have narrow shoulders so anything that depends on being thrown across my shoulder always slips off, and then there is the question of where do you carry your handbag, on top or underneath the wrap? I must confess I also find clothes with lots of flaps and folds mommer me. They are definitely not for me.

I think these wraps look fabulous on other people, but you need to be slim and have long legs to where them well. The danger if you are short and even a bit overweight is that you could end up looking like a mobile bell tent.

I've got two, and they're so easy to wear; one was a Boden one, the other is one from Amazon.

I have one just like this which I bought in Debenhams about 8 or 9 years ago!! Feel dead trendy in it this winter

Ooh, I like that. Some of these are cut with shoulder seams so are less likely to slide off - though they would slide off me; my shoulders have started the deadly forward rotation.

The classic thing to do, obvs, is pin it jauntily under one shoulder with a statement brooch.