Why can't I be smart

Sounds like you stand out already Ethel , if you want to blend in and go unnoticed, just wear jeans, or leggings, with a jumper, fleece, tunic, dress, shirt, whatever and boots or trainers - whatever is comfortabe. I am currently living in a pair of tan suede lace up boots £7 from Primark! (may have been reduced due to a small mark) .

Padded jacket or duffle coat for warmth - unless you choose very bright colours you'll be totally anonymous at any event barring a posh dinner party.

I also think it is a confidence thing Ethel but you know what? You ARE worth it.

We all like to wear what is comfortable but I don't think holes in tights and dirty shoes would be my scene if you really want to feel good. I personally love the hippy look but it doesn't suit me even though I am a size 10 or 12 sometimes. My friend (died 2 years ago) dressed hippy but it was always clean and tidy and it really suited her and looked amazingly young. A friend said to me last week that I always looked well turned out. I was quite amazed and wear jeans a lot but that is how I like to look and feel comfortable. We don't have to spend a fortune nowadays to have comfortable clothes as charity shops have a mix of styles so it shouldn't break the bank. I have bought a couple of things there before. Nowadays we can get away with wearing any style.

depends on your shape, I would look like a Peruvian flute player in a poncho and back pack.Plus backpacks are easy pickings for the light fingered.
No holes in anything Ethel and clean shoes/boots.No bobble hat, unless you are going for a country walk.
clean jeans or black trousers, tunic top, or any slightly longer top, a bit of chunky jewellery or scarf and a bit of make up.It's not dressed up, just casual, but does look fairly smart.
When DD1 was about 17 she used to go about in DM's, and a hat not unlike Compo in the Last Of The Summer Wine.Having a good figure and long flowing hair, she got away with it.Not many people can.

Good point Ana croosbody bag under the poncho? I only suggested the backpack as etheltbags does not sound like a "handbag" girl. I may be wrong of course!

Not sure about a backpack with a poncho, DB. In fact I'm never sure about backpacks anyway, but that's just me!

Two questions, if I may etheltbags
1What do you mean by "smart"
2 Do you want to look like that?

Princess Eugenie fascinators aside, most "slebs "look pretty silly especially if you realise how much they have to spend and the people they have to "advise" them.
On the other hand, it would not be hard to adapt your own style as you describe it.
Ditch the holey leggings, treat yourself to a couple of pairs (look at M&S jeggings, also Sainsbury's, they are good value) Holes in jeans or leggings do not look good even on under 50's.
Lose the mini skirt. Harsh, but true. (I assume you wear the leggings UNDER it not OVER?) A long big sweater or tunic will look much better and be easy to wear. If you don't want to faff around with scarves, don't, but they can jazz up an outfit. Keep your DMs if you like them, but consider a pair of ankle boots (suede doesn't need cleaning!)
A rain jacket or duffle coat (or if you feel brave enough) a poncho on top and a backpack or crossbody bag and you could go anywhere!

Have always longed to be elegant, sadly never even managed 'smart'!!

I like to make some effort with my clothes, hair and makeup. It makes me feel better, gives me a lift. What I do realise is that with age smart is about as good as it gets. I very rarely feel glamorous. My weight is my biggest concern as I do like my food and a glass or two of wine.

I think you show quite a lot of confidence by not wanting to follow the majority.

Just wear things you feel comfortable in. That's the joy of getting older. There is no dress code or have I missed it?

My nickname at college was "Ragbag" and it fitted very well, unlike my clothes. I do dress up and do make up for special occasions but the rest of the year round I'm a bit of a slob clothes wise. I prefer to be comfortable in my leggings and baggy tops with boots rather than hurting in heels and all the stuff you need to rein in all the spare flesh which has accrued over the years.

I'm a bit of a hippy myself but I do clean my boots. I have jeans that are patched where the left bum cheek wore through (I'm a size 8!! ) why only one side I don't know. As long as my clothes are clean I don't mind. I can dress up for occasions but the style is still hippyish.

Perhaps you stand out because of what you do wear? I don't wear dresses either - or skirts at all - but I still think I can look "smart casual" even in jeans.

By going into social situations looking scruffy you give one of two messages
1) you can't be bothered to dress up for these people, THEY'RE not worth the effort or
2) you don't think YOU are worth the effort.
Either way you are going to draw attention to yourself.

For a long time now (past 10 1/2 years as I took Early Retirement at 50) I live in Jeans/Jeggings or Shorts in Summer. If I'm going out teamed with a nice Blouse/Shirt or Jumper. Live in Trainers or slip on shoes.

I can dress up & do own smart black Trousers/ black Skirt or even (heaven forbid) a Dress, several smart Jackets plus scarves.

I go for comfort but have to have nicely polished nails & wear mascara & lipstick, nice jewellery plus nice watch

I like to look smart when I'm out and about but at the same time I feel at home in my gardening or DIY paint splattered gear - I've even gone to the (very local) supermarket or DIY shop in my 'work' clothes. Some people look naturally smart - I see them in town and they seem fully integrated in their smartness. Others look smart but somehow it doesn't seem entirely natural, not a real extension of themselves, ie, they've made a special effort which is not entirely natural to them. If you know what I mean.

I have been described as 'a bit of a hippy' more than once but I like bright clothes, long skirts, scarves and fun jewellery. I have just been to the local Indian restaurant for lunch, just wore what I happened to put on this morning and two women commented on how much they loved my knee length fuchsia suede boots and brightly coloured wool coat with fluffy wool collar. People often complement me on my clothes but they aren't often smart, more fun and colourful and nearly all bought from charity shops. My flowery doc martins which I wear with leggings, shortish skirt and shirt are also often commented on. I just wear what I feel happy in and what is appropriate for what I'm doing, eg warm layers for walking on the hills in winter, waterproof if out in the wet. as many have said before me as long as it is clean and you feel happy in it go with it, you don't have to look as if you are part of a fashion shoot.

"You must look perfectly happy and relaxed in your clothes which must appear part of you rather than a wardrobe you have donned" — Hardy Amies
I saw this today re an exhibition about him in Dagenham and thought of you.

Ok... so keep the Grunge look for at home & popping to the shops etc., but for social occasions, ditch the holes, keep the bobble hat in your bag.

No one expects matchy- matchy any more, but make a bit of an effort after all they made an effort to invite you so repay their kindness.

If all else fails go & buy a frock you feel happy in, put on your tights ( leave the holes at home) buy yourself a bomber jacket, brush your hair, put on a bit of lippy, foot wear of choice & go & have fun.

As my Mum used to say" No ones looking at you" but they will do if you go looking like a dogs dinner.

So to sum up, tidy up, relax & enjoy yourself.

I'm not a dressy person, usually a cotton top and trousers, but I do try to look clean and tidy. If I have to go to a wedding, funeral or a party, then I put on a new cotton top, (Bonmarche). Anything else and I feel uncomfortable and overdressed. I don't worry what people think, I'm on a very limited budget, and as long as I feel OK then that's it.

To me, smart means clean and well cared for, whatever the style. Jeans, trousers, shirts and jumpers with trainers, shoes and boots (even hiking) can be as smart or casual as I need nowadays. I am more comfortable in clothes that won't make me stand out but I guess holey clothes and dirty shoes would get me more notice than I want. Stick to what you're comfortable in Ethel but if you want to avoid too much notice, keep your leggings and Doc Martins well looked after. Otherwise you'll get the notice you want to avoid for all the wrong reasons.

I've had a lifetime of having to wear so called 'business attire' and I'm now quite happy to wear jeans and a blouse/jumper most days and smarter trousers and a tunic blouse for a night out. I can't remember the last time I wore a dress and heels.

You won't morethan2 ( well, maybe occasionally!). There will be so many new things to explore but you may find that your wardrobe will need to adapt to a more casual look. I prefer the word 'elegant' to 'smart'. You can be elegant and casual, if you wish.

Good luck on your retirement( hate the word-- rather, 'new life' = much nicer).

Is smart what most of us who work in an office type job wear ? I have to wear trousers/skirt/ smart dress for work. Mostly its trousers because of all the bending down. I was about to buy more dark work smart trousers last week when I realised I don't have to any more because as I keep mentioning I'm retiring in march (smug emotion) I'm small and round with no neck, skinny legs and hardly any bum I can look reasonably smartish in a very blend into the background and definitely not be noticed sort of way what I can't be and never could no matter what I wear is chic. I'd love to look chic I'm full of envy of those of you who do! I don't care what any of my friends look like I don't think they care what I look like either. One of my worries about retiring is that I'll wonder round all day in my pyjamas

Ethelbags continue wearing what you like but wear leggings with no holes and clean up, if that applies, at least before going out. I abhor the idea that there is a style for 60+ and would avoid the very concept.

Dress as you please but in what makes you feel comfortable and in a style which expresses your personality. Age should not come into it...except that perhaps, our physical shape might preclude clothes that are too revealing( but would that not also be the case if we were younger?).

Perhaps also give you DMs a spit and polish occasionally?
I admire the general look you choose and, with some tidying, it seems to express you perfectly. Doesn't matter that it would not be my choice....or that of many others.

How about this Ethelbags1

www.refinery29.com/baddie-winkle

Ethel, smart to you is conventional, that's plainly not what you want to be.
My niece on her wedding day wore cowboy boots hidden under her conventional wedding attire just because...
I say you hold your head up and carry on