Why can't I be smart

I am no good with eye makeup and mascara is not much use as my eyelashes have nearly disappeared (why, when my eyebrows are growing longer and thicker?).

People won't stare if you don't have holes in your tights, your jumper covers your bottom and your shoes are polished(ish).
Unless, of course, you are stunningly beautiful like me

Hope you're feeling better, have a nice lunch tomorrow.

Haven't been on much cos I'm ill, I do get asked out but just do t have time. If I'm better I'm going for lunch tomorrow with an older lady who doesn't care what I look like, she dresses really eccentrically. Usually I'm working till 7 ish and too knackered to go anywhere, I babysit 2 days and most weekends if not working I have housework. I have binned the old leggings though just left the patterned ones. No not a wind up, I really do feel that people are staring if I try to dress up, I have decided to get some new make up and learn to use mascara, in the past it has just made me look panda eyed

When I was a student my mother used to call me Mick Jagger Long hair, black, paint smothered jeans and a shaggy black fake fur coat - I can't think what she was complaining about!

Vintage - I think my mother and yours would have been best friends. They would have had a good time criticizing us together. My mum expected me to look like I was going for a day in a city office when in fact I was looking after 3 boys and their friends, a dog, three cats and countless gerbils, decorating and shopping. I have to wear cotton now because of allergies but enjoy looking for tops in mauves, pink and blues. I used to wear silver hoop earrings but I'm now allergic to those as well. I do have a number of necklaces on cotton threads and my favourite is a pink shell on a brown cotton thread.

Hallo, Falconbird, I sympathise with you about your mother. My late mother also called me a 'bag lady' and on one occasion when my outfit did please her she said I looked so much better than I had done last time she saw me. I was then in my fifties.
I dress for comfort and to suit myself. Necklaces are impossible when I'm with my 15 month-old grandson. Clean and decent is a reasonable rule.

etheltbags1 didn't say she wondered why people don't invite her out.
She is the one who invited a friend out and was refused.

I'd happily go out with any friend who invited me, regardless of their choice in clothes.

bewithstyle.com/grunge-style/
perhaps OK when you're under 21 but after that?

The Grunge look is a bit passé isn't it?

Perhaps ethel has gone shopping?

DaphneBroon Wouldn't be the first time

You need to be very careful rocking the scruffy look as an old lady. You end up looking like "Rochester's Wife" and in danger of being put away!

As etheltbags hasn't chosen to come back and give an opinion on the myriad suggestions, I find myself wondering if this was a wind-up ethelt??

You can be trendy without being scruffy and holes in your stockings or shoes will make you look like a down and out. If you want to know why people don't invite you out, that is why! sorry to be blunt, but there is a time and a place. If you want to be scruffy at home fine, but when someone asks you out you should tidy up out of respect for them imo.

Keep your style that you've adopted but smarten up, why would you be happy with holes in leggings, and uncleaned boots which are scuffed? Rectifying those alone would be a start.

All of the above brings me back to What do you regard as "smart" etheltbags and why is it cringeworthy?
Clean and not holey doesn't seem "cringeworthy" to me unless one is stuck in a post-punk/Johnny Rotten mindset.
And if you are saying "matchy matchy court shoes and handbags, tweed skirts, twinsets and pearls, not forgetting QE2 style perms," well nobody does those today anyway.
So what do you think of the variety of suggestions?

I think it's easier than ever to look stylish, to be fair. And I don't think "smart" in the conventional sense appeals to many of us, from what I can see. I think there are items that must be avoided (for me it's a fleece and court shoes) but otherwise there's no excuse to be scruffy or unkempt.

Primark is your friend! I've just bought a biker jacket from there at about £20. Someone upthread is sporting lace up boots from there. It doesn't matter if you make a mistake-the cheapness gives you an opportunity to experiment with different looks.

I'm wearing lace up boots (not DMs), with socks over leggings plus grey v-neck tee. Big watch, statement earrings. When I go out later I'll put on biker jacket and a colourful big scarf. Hair done and full slap. And nails.

If I want to look smarter I use the same basic look but skinnies and blazer, heeled (not high) boots and maybe a different bag.

If it's cold, I wear a smart but hopefully not frumpy coat. Same general look though.

I think the key is grooming, not "smartness" per se.

Think you have got some really good advice Ethel , most seem to dislike the idea of dirty boots holey tights and worst of all the bobble hat ! The only other thing I would say is if you are over 30 , mini skirts are definitely out - I have a friend of 66 who has a great figure and insists on wearing mini skirts still . It just looks so wrong/tacky and to be honest I am a bit embarrassed when we are out together .

As others have stated getting older make some of us less likely to conform to an ideal as far as dressing is concerned and I know I dress for myself and in what I find comfortable. Winter clothes include, jeans, ankle boots and leggings, I don't know where I'd be without the latter. Sometimes I like to look smart, but I can't do "dog's dinner" type of dressing up. I just won't do dinner and dance occasions, I refuse to subject myself to the tyranny and expense of that sort nonsensical occasion. Each to their own.

Totally with youEthelbags I'm a bit of a hippie too. Also I dislike pattern, sequins, and certain colours and shapes. Makes dressing up difficult at times

Ethel, if it upsets you to be stared at, why not make a few little changes as suggested by the others? I confess that I would have done a double take at a wedding guest who turned up in jeans. Did you wear your unpolished DM's too?

It's good that you know what you like and are comfortable with your own style. Our style makes a statement about us, but I'm puzzled when you say that if you dress up in the house you have to dress down before you go out. Also, you say that just sometimes you would like to dress like other 60 year old women and I think that's rather sad. However, I bet if we all met, there would be almost as many different styles as there are GN members. Just a few little tweaks to your own style and people will be looking and thinking wow, she looks good for 60!

ethelbags, do your own thing. Your look is unique by the sounds of it, and dare I say, brave too? I imagine dressing as you do might attract attention.

I know what you mean by not wanting to be looked at or getting attention.I am much happier if I can fade into the background at a social event. I don't like attracting attention now I have gained weight because of illness, drugs and enforced inactivity. I feel inferior and that's my problem.

I wonder if I am alone in HATING with a passion going to the hairdressers? I hate that just cut and blow dried look. I have to ruffle up my hair when I leave the hairdressers. So many women of my age seemed well groomed and coiffed. They look after themselves. I am very low maintenance and think it's too late for me to change now. In my head I see myself as a slightly ruffled, punkish Debbie Harry (of Blondie fame)type. In truth I am probably more like the Mum in leggings in the Royle Family.

If we try to be what we're not we feel uncomfortable too.

Most of us can be outrageous women who wear purple, or whatever else we want to now. Go for it Ethelbags. Comparisons to others are odious I've found. I can only be me.

I gave up smart when I lost my DH. Now its comfort cool in summer comfort warm in winter.

Etheltbags Wear what you feel comfortable in.You are you and don't let anyone say what they think you should do or be.

I am an ancient hippy... I wear ankle boots with me long skirts and mix and match...I am 65 I go for quirky and rainbow socks. Go for it and enjoy your individuality

The point is do you need to be smart? Just reasonably clean and tidy does for most occasions. When I had to have dealings with our bank manager I used to dress like a successful business woman and I still dress up a bit for my husband's consultant although we know each other so well now that I'm sure he sees right through it.

I like to look fairly colourful and arty farty if I'm out in the evening, but I'm not sure it would count as "Smart".

Wear what you like and what feels comfortable- no one has the right to criticise you as long as you're not dressed indecently!
Whatever your clothing choices, it's important to be nice and clean. Grubbiness is desperately unattractive and antisocial, and something that most definitely will be noticed and commented on, so if you don't want to stand out for all the wrong reasons, get scrubbin' girl!