MOB style- does common sense go out of the window?

Daughters wedding last year in Oz and we went shopping for a dress. I'm not at all a dress person and was fed up with all the ladies at work going on and on about what I should get and how expensive it could be. They couldn't believe I was going to wait for the week before and buy in Oz. I thought surely that was sensible as the clothes would suit the heat but hey ho.
When we went it was always going to be an in and out job, not ages choosing and thankfully my daughter shops same way! My d let slip to keen sales lady that I was MOB shopping and she literally rubbed her hands in glee, I immediately got on the back foot and muttered to my girl that I will not be told what to wear by her to which she replied, I can see that mum!
I felt really pleased when I saw one that was fine, did all the right things with little light jacket to cover wings. Job done, decent price but could and has been used over here since.
Never forget ladies face when she came into changing room with armfuls of mumsy outfits as I came out saying I'll have this one please! She really thought she had me and my money for the afternoon.

Well I’m just shocked that people spend hundreds or even several thousand on MOB outfits.
I’ve been MOB twice but I naively didn’t understand the importance of the outfit!

My sons (37 and 34) have chosen not to get married (one lives with his lady, the other son just enjoys dating women). I don't suppose I'll ever find out...

When DD got married 21 years ago she only gave us a month's notice so there wasn't much time for shopping around. I bought a mid calf length dress from M&S for about £20. It was terracotta with a jungle sort of print in cream. I wore a cream linen jacket I'd had for years and definitely no hat!

When I was shopping for MOG outfit I can remember being mortified at the choices . All very similar in style but different fabrics or different length jackets but mostly bolero style jackets.
I hated them and was happy the wedding never happened.

I admit I spent about £600 when each of my DCs got married. For each one I bought a beaded, embroidered jacket / coat from a small designer, worn over a Hobbs dress. Dark emerald for one wedding in the w8nter, sort of khaki/ old gold for the autumn one. I felt fantastic, nobody wore anything vaguely similar, and I’ve worn both many times since for evening and lunches, over trousers and skirts. Sort of a bit Judi Dench.

I am sorry it was not clear. The thread was general, the example of my friend just that, an example.

Does she feel confident and happy in the outfit she's bought?
That's really all that matters. Wedding guests will be looking at the bride more than your friend.

I really wish we could stop all this nonsense about feeling you have to spend a fortune on wedding outfits
That was my point! .

luluaugust said exactly what I was thinking. I have only been a MOG, just the once, and I had no idea what to wear. It was made all the more difficult because I had surgery not long before the event, which left me unable to drive, unable to walk very far, and unable to go anywhere without my DH helping me - and he was working some godawful hours at the time. I eventually managed to get out with only 3 weeks to go and ended up with a floaty skirt, top and jacket, complete with matchy matchy shoes, hat and bag. Needless to say, all worn the once and then stashed away. Thing is, I always dress in very casual clothes - even when I was working it was smart casual trousers, T's and cardigans. I could hardly go to my son's wedding dressed like that, and I don't know how to buy anything else

.. then thats all that matters.

I didnt have a weddingy wedding dress myself there was no way I was going to wear a MOB outfit at any of the daughter's weddings. A silky aubergine & turquoise dress for the Oz one, whacky brown taffeta skirt & jacket with dangly bits for 2nd and silvery grey trousers with a lovely matching wrap around shawl collared jacket. I've worn them all again a number of times so no wastage there! I loathe the matching 'set' but if the wearer is comfortable

I think we need to remember that even if we are the MOB or MOG, we are not the stars at this party. I doubt anyone will be able to remember the following day exactly what we are wearing unless it was truly dreadful or outrageous (as described by Eloethan) and then the comments will not be kind.

Wear something nice, old or new, that you feel comfortable in and can stand for long periods in and then forget it.

I really wish we could stop all this nonsense about feeling you have to spend a fortune on wedding outfits. (Although clearly a lot of us on gransnet already feel this way).

My son recently got married in Malaysia. I did buy a Phase Eight dress, but recycled handbags and shoes to accompany it. Everyone just wore their "Sunday best", and a wonderful time was had by all. If my other sons get married I shall recycle it all again.

Eglantine That's incredible!

It took me ages to find an outfit for my daughter's wedding and after I saw the photos I hated it! Gave the whole lot to a charity shop.
However, my daughter looked beautiful in her wedding dress and that was the most important thing, I feel. (Mind you she's divorced now!)
My son has just got engaged - wedding, probably, abroad next year. Here we go again!

When I was a MOG (no chance of ever being a MOB), I wore a silk suit I had bought for a special event 4 years previously and only worn twice, no hat and just bought new shoes and a top to go under the jacket. Both from chain stores.

My niece gets married in a fortnight. I will be wearing an outfit bought in charity shops; a vintage 1960s Jaeger linen dress from Oxfam and a navy M&Co jacket from Sue Ryder. Shoes and handbag from my existing stock.

I found it almost impossible to find anything for dd's wedding - and I had help from a personal shopper at John Lewis, as well as help every other shop I tried.
The big do was going to be largely out of doors, in a place where it was likely to be warm/very warm, and it was not going to be very formal.

I looked and asked in vain for something unfussy, not too short, not sleeveless, not frumpy, not too hot, and def not the typical, over-flowery or salmon pink MOB 2 piece. And preferably something flattering!

Nobody could find me anything remotely suitable. There were however plenty of dresses I'd have loved if I were still under 45, still a size 10, and still happy with bare arms and above-knee skirts! And not 66, a 12-14, and thinking that elegance at a certain age means keeping your less lovely bits covered.
In the end I found a dress online - a lovely, simple, mid calf, blue and white sort of abstract-floral print in pure linen, with long 'short' sleeves, IYSWIM.
But boy, it took an awful lot of hunting.

It's 27 years ago since my eldest son got married and my mum and I went to a little boutique in small town near us just on the off chance. My outfit (navy blue satin type with a peplum jacket and straight skirt) was in the sale - when I look at the photos now I still think it looked lovely with a big white hat. I never wore it again though. Move on 16 years (and several dress sizes ) I went to another little bridal shop near us and bought a beautiful long pale green and lilac dress and rather expensive fascinator - I've worn the dress to several functions since then. In both cases I never considered what I should have been wearing other than it looked nice and they were the first outfits I tried on. My friend on the other hand spent months looking for something for her son's wedding a couple of years ago - thankfully she didn't ask me to go with her or my opinion!

Anything advertised for a wedding cost twice or three times what it would in any other shop.

Don't shop there, look for ideas there then go somewhere cheaper, is my way of dealing with the problem.

The worst I’ve seen was a somewhat possessive Mother of the Groom who wore a full length cream lace and satin dress and a little hat with a veil......

For DD1's wedding I decided I wanted to buy something I could wear afterwards so I bought a navy suit and dressed it up with a hat, gloves and a shawl in bright teal. But I only ever wore the suit once afterwards as it felt so frumpy! So for DD2's wedding I chose a lacy dress in a very unusual colour, bought online, matching fascinator and metallic shoes and clutch. I haven't worn that again either but I felt so much prettier on the day so what the hell!
I also had my makeup done professionally for the first wedding- big mistake! Made me look so old that even my mother-in-law who was sat next to me in church didn't realise it was me. Did my own the second time.

When DD3 got married 3 years ago, I bought my outfit on lone from Bonmarche. It fitted a treat and cost me £50.00 for the dress and light edge to edge jacket and with shoes , hat and bag, £125.00 altogether. I felt good and plenty of compliments.

I enjoyed putting an outfit together as MOG [not MOB so it might be different in that respect]. I did it all by myself - the dress, fascinator, shoes, lacey mittens [!] I bought on line in sales and ebay and felt very comfortable - didn't look too bad judging by the lovely comments.

The best opinion I think for an event like this is your own!!! - once you know whether it's an informal or formal occasion. I would never, ever rely on a shop assistant - they've got invested interests

Spot on lulu That’s exactly what happens.