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Style & beauty

Funeral dress

(19 Posts)
Lilypops Tue 21-Sept-21 23:17:30

We have to attend the funeral next week of a friend , her family have asked us not to wear black but to be bright and fun like the deceased, but that’s the problem. What should I wear, I always think black or grey for funerals, this is out of my comfort zone,I want to respect the family,s wishes, but just not sure how to get it right, Any suggestions please.

Shinamae Tue 21-Sept-21 23:19:06

Just literally what her family have asked for something bright and fun…

Granny23 Tue 21-Sept-21 23:23:50

As a compromise, why not wear your usual outfit but add a brightly coloured scarf?

CanadianGran Tue 21-Sept-21 23:27:44

Yes, think more like an afternoon tea or graduation. If you can't do bright colours, then more muted lighter colours. Perhaps navy trousers, light sweater or blouse and blazer.

Hetty58 Tue 21-Sept-21 23:36:18

Anything but black or grey!

ElderlyPerson Tue 21-Sept-21 23:41:44

Granny23

As a compromise, why not wear your usual outfit but add a brightly coloured scarf?

With perhaps a light brown handbag or similar, not black, but not bright colour, into which you could hide the scarf if for whatever reason at some point you feel a bit awkward having the bright scarf displayed, if, for example there were a tea and cakes afterwards and everybody else was in dark colours.

Granmarderby10 Tue 21-Sept-21 23:53:20

Yes Lilypops a very dark navy with a classy highly patterned blouse or highly patterned scarf and smooth sweater. I think nowadays that navy blue is more flattering and youthful while still respectful and smart.

Teacheranne Wed 22-Sept-21 00:55:16

I went to a friends funeral yesterday and we were asked to wear bright colours, with some turquoise as that had been my friends favourite colour. I didn’t have any turquoise clothes so wore a smart coloured blouse with a chunky turquoise necklace. I noticed that her son, aged late twenties, wore a smart suit with brightly coloured turquoise socks with cartoon characters. I thought it showed respect yet with a small token for his mum.

Lilypops Wed 22-Sept-21 08:13:01

Thankyou ladies. , as always. So helpful. I have a bright coral blouse I could wear with smart navy pants and jewellery, or a multi coloured pink , purple white and navy top , I think I would feel comfortable and respectful wearing.
I just couldn’t think beyond the usual black ,

Marmight Wed 22-Sept-21 08:21:36

I agree with the bright scarf suggestion. I wore dark grey trousers with a long black tunic to DHs funeral topped off with a turquoise pashmina and turquoise necklace he’d given me for Christmas just before he died. I’d just want attendees to wear whatever they’re comfortable in to my funeral - but not black!!

silverlining48 Wed 22-Sept-21 08:59:32

I wouldnt want black either. We wore something red fir my mums funeral, it was her favourite colour.

Lily, I am sorry about your friend and don’t mean to offend, but can’t resist this. Please wear some trousers over your blue pants..... (pants = underwear this side of the pond).

For what it’s worth the Coral top sounds nice with navy,

Lilypops Wed 22-Sept-21 09:19:26

Silver lining. Ha ha. ?yes I get what. you mean. Sometimes we call them pants. Sometimes trousers. Pants was quicker to type. Wrong choice this time. No offence taken at all.

silverlining48 Wed 22-Sept-21 18:00:02

Thanks lily pops I was worrying i may have caused offence, which I did not intend.

Witzend Wed 22-Sept-21 18:10:18

I’d do as they ask.
My father loathed my mother in black - she wore a red flowery dress for his funeral, and none of us wore anything in gloomy colours. It’s what he’d have wanted.

Daisend1 Wed 22-Sept-21 18:23:05

Do as requested.

tanith Wed 22-Sept-21 19:17:11

I wore my husbands favourite, on me, dress it was bright and flowery but he always said I like you in that dress every time I wore it so I wore it for his funeral. Some people wore black some wore colours it really didn’t matter it was their presence that I needed.

Lilypops Wed 22-Sept-21 19:59:40

Daisend1. I will do as requested by the family, my question was really , how bright to go as I have never done bright at a funeral
before.

Deedaa Wed 22-Sept-21 20:08:20

Years ago a friend of ours died very suddenly from a brain haemorrhage. Her husband asked us all to wear bright colours (they were a hippy sort of couple) I think I will probably have worn purple or turquoise which were my favourites at the time. The widower was wearing a wonderful purple velvet coat which had been his wife's favourite.

BlueBelle Wed 22-Sept-21 20:18:47

You will respect the family by doing what they have asked
I would hate people to wear black or grey or miserable stuff at my funeral