Curly-wavy hair woes

My hair is coarse and thick and wavy and I hate it. I straighten it every day….?‍♀️

Effalump, I like your style
I’ve been looking at old photos of myself and there’s lots of short choppy fringes and, for some reason, lots with the sides thinned out. I think it’s because I have thick hair hairdressers take one look and decide to thin and it out and chop it all off. Ok I went along with them but I thought it looked tidy instead it just looks too short and too layered. So I’m going to take some control back and grow it out

I stopped going to hair stylists about three years ago. I would ask for something suitably modern for a 60+ y.o. but always ended up looking a bit like Margaret Thatcher. I manage to trim my hair myself now but I really don't care what the back looks like as I can't see it. Occasionally go a bit mad and end up with chunks missing by hey-ho!

Over the years I have wasted vast amounts of money on hairdressers and products. Now, since lockdown, DH cuts my hair at the back and I do the front. Nobody has ever commented. My hair is my downfall. It’s awful no matter who cuts it. I have to straighten it as, when it curls, I look 10 years older.

During the lockdowns I let my hair go its own way and discovered that it was much more curly than I had thought. It's also very fine, and thinner on the right than on the left side - I always sleep on the right. I asked my new hairdresser not to re-instate the layers that previous hairdressers had created. It's now longer and looks thicker. Some hairdressers are inclined to do just what they want, but it pays to tell them exactly what you want.

Most hairdressers are not trained to cut curly hair so their approach is to cut it the same as for straight and then blow dry it. I follow CurlyGirlLondon on Facebook - she has a salon there but is expensive. By luck, I found a hairdresser who seems to get curly hair but really it's down to chance.

You’ve all inspired me to let it grow and get rid of the short layers. I think I’ll need some layers or cutting into as it’s quite thick but fine

I’m going to start growing my fringe out too as it sticks up and goes into two curls either side of my head.

I looked up Vidal Sassoon trained stylists and there’s one up the road from me who I’ve never gone to before even though he’s so close by
I’m not confident enough to cut my own hair but you never know…….

I have curly hair and I manage it by having a bob to mid neck, NO fringe. I never blow dry and never use straighteners.
I let it dry naturally but running my fingers downwards, through it.

I have collar length curly hair. My hairdresser puts lots of layers in and low lights too. I use John frida frizz ease shampoo and conditioner and a touch of spritz to hold the bounce. I love it!

I have a wonderful hairdresser for my curly mop
She says never never layer cut curly hair only blunt cut. She cuts each curl individually & never use products containing heavy oil on curly hair. Just a cream. Happy with mine as long as I go for a trim every 6 weeks.

Itsnell no, of course you didn't offend ?. I was really just making the point that for some people there is a reason for doing these things.

I gave up and cut my own hair now

A couple of good things I've learned

Use a heat protection leave in conditioner... Stops frizz when it is humid

Only brush once wet and fi ger brush the rest of the time (with the leave in conditioner to tame frizz)

Condition, then shampoo to stop build up making it dull and heavy

Life changing, love my hair now

I had a wild mane of curly Irish hair that I, of course, hated. Years of dyeing, straightening etc has killed my curls. Now miss them. Glad it’s still thick, though. An now undyed. Have never found a hairdresser I like. Now cut it myself. Looks as bad/good as they do it. ?

AreWeThereYet sorry, I hope I didn’t offend.
Rupert and Rory that’s a good idea I used to go to Vidal Sassoon as a model when I lived in London it probably spoilt me as I look for that standard in stylists.
How would I start to look for a Vidal Sassoon trained stylist?

I wear a silk bonnet to bed. I have hair half way down my back and it keeps my hair up on top of my head so I don't lie on it and flatten my curls. In the morning I take it off, give my head a shake and that's my hair done. I thought it was ridiculous at first but now I wouldn't be without it. It also keeps it out of my face overnight and I no longer wake up with a mouth full of hair. I used to use a scarf to do the same thing but that flattened my hair.

Go to a Vidal Sassoon trained hairdresser. They are trained to cut curly, straight, afro whatever hair you have and you will be happy with the result. Might cost more, but worth it.

Madashell you made me laugh?. That’s so true - the silk bonnets and all the mystique that surrounds some of the curly girl technique. I can’t be doing with it at my age - or whatever my age is!!
I never ate my crusts - nor did I like drinking my milk.

Curly hair can be a curse! I first starting cutting my own at the age of 4 - I was always jealous of girls with beautiful straight hair in pigtails or a pony tails - hair that moved when they walked.

Mine is thinnish with very tight curls at the ends. For 50 years I ironed it or dried it as straight as possible, then 3 years ago I just let it go. It is vile. It never looks good and is not thick enough - I loathe seeing pink scalp ( went grey very early). I have been to 2 different curly specialists - colleges do not teach how to deal with curly hair. I have had aDeva cut which felt wonderful but one puff of wind and it’s as if I have been electrocuted. Having moved I’ve been on the trail again, I may have found someone but it costs over £60, and I have gone back to short hair giving up with the knots of a longer style.

These YouTubers are generally quite young (comparatively), have thick, luscious curls, and the time and patience to faff around with their curls. Wearing silk bonnets at night, and adding layer upon layer of products

I also have a box full of products for curly hair, none of which are cheap, some stink of very cheap perfume, some do nothing for me at all. I avoid shampoo containing SLS or SLE, use conditioner and a curl cream. Wash as infrequently as possible and leave to dry naturally -yuk. Use a diffuser on the hair dryer and I can get a better look, trying to avoid looking like I’ve just had a very bad perm with old fashioned rollers.

I tried blow drying it straight again but it's got too curly and looked like thin, white wire wool. I am seriously thinking of a good quality wig.

My mother used to love my curly hair and when I was young she would push it into finger waves - I did look very old. Because I didn’t like hard bread crusts mother also used to tell me that eating them would make my hair curly - I never wanted curly hair and would wail.

Now where are those scissors…?

Thanks for your advice and recommendations. There’s lots to think about. I live near the Nottinghamshire Derbyshire Leicestershire borders.

To Skydancer
I can recommend the Dyson Corrale works a treat on my curly hair. Expensive but worth it. .

Took me long time to find a hairdresser who could manage my fine flyaway locks. Now I've found a Salon that can cope, I'm sticking with them though they are expensive it's in Harrogate if that's any good to you Itsnell? I'm sure these girls could cope with your hair.

My last hairdresser was brilliant at cutting curly hair but sadly she has stopped doing women's hair and now has a barbers!

She did tell me that hairdressers get very little training (or experience) in cutting curly hair and that's why we all find it difficult to get a decent 'do'.

Look for a curly girl hairdresser. They are hard to find but they do exist. Cutting curly hair is so different as it has to be cut in the C of the curl. My last cut was by someone who said they could cut curly hair and £90 later not impressed. So I’m still looking for a good one

If you're in Devon my hairdresser is brill, and my hair sounds extremely similar to yours...

I should add that he cuts it when wet. Perhaps that's the secret.