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Style & beauty

Do we really dress to please ourselves?

(41 Posts)
winterwhite Sat 14-Sept-24 18:00:03

Until an hour or ago I'd have said Yes, and my DH is like the man in a Wendy Cope poem who says that any outfit is fine if saying it isn't means looking at 4 others.

But we're off on holiday on Monday so I'm wearing old clothes while better ones are packed. 'That's a very nice skirt,' says DH of an old denim number, 'are you taking it on holiday?' Old denim skirt now in washing machine, nice new jeans removed from case... Then considering tops to wear in the evening I spotted a ten-year-old cream and navy one that DH always liked and put it in at the expense of a much newer one that I consider more flattering. Sentimental? Moi?

Boz Mon 24-Mar-25 17:22:44

Since telling me I looked like Rupert Bear, forty-odd years ago, he has commented much. I think it was the check trousers and lace-up suede shoes with a yellow scarf that prompted the remark.

Indigo8 Mon 24-Mar-25 17:05:34

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riyasky22 Mon 24-Mar-25 17:02:37

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CanadianGran Mon 16-Dec-24 21:18:30

I do think we dress to please others and ourselves. If we didn't, then we would go about all the time in our 'around the house' clothes, since they are the most comfortable.

I do try to look presentable when out in public, including at work, even though it is a very casual style. But when I buy a new outfit, I don't look at it and think "my DH will like that", I buy it because I think I look nice in it.

RosiesMaw2 Mon 16-Dec-24 20:50:03

I certainly do (and always have )
(The mental image does not always match the reality, alas.)

jeanie99 Mon 16-Dec-24 20:47:02

Dress to please yourself.
Wear something you are comfortable in.
I have a pr of light coloured jeans which fit great and I love them. They are years old and I don't care what anyone thinks.
Hubby loves a fitted blue dress I have and it does look good on but he'd have me wearing it all the time, so I occasionally wear it to please him.

Daddima Fri 01-Nov-24 11:50:38

I’d say I dress to please myself, but I do sometimes choose things according to which friend I’m going out with! I have one who favours long skirts/dresses and co-ordinating jewellery ( always, not just when going out), and another who always wears denim jeans, only varying the tops she wears with them!
The Bodach wore the same things for the 50 years we were together ( same style, not the same clothes, obviously), polo shirt, v necked jumper and chino type trousers for casual, suit, collar and tie for ‘dress’.

DamaskRose Fri 01-Nov-24 10:26:38

Deedaa

I've always worn what I wanted. I did get it wrong once when I was first going out with DH to be in 1969. We were going to a car club dance and I wore a stunning long silver lace dress from Biba. It had a low neck and flowing medieval style sleeves. His face was a picture when he saw it! All the other girls were wearing clothes they could have done an oil change in. He had no idea about clothes himself, but I was able to do a few tactful tweaks. The one thing we did agree about was that he would never be seen outside the house in jogging bottoms unless he was actually dead.

I wear what I want but I’m very capable of getting it wrong too Deedaa, I don’t take myself too seriously. DH knows what he likes which isn’t always the right thing either! He doesn’t take himself too seriously. I don’t think I’d like to be married to somehow who was overly interested in how he looked …

Witzend Fri 01-Nov-24 09:25:50

Allira

I must read that again, a short but lovely book.

I won it at school, end of year prize 🙂

It was a school text when I was about 14. Still love it! And I’ve often thought how timelessly classic is the artful/ devious behaviour of Isabella, compared to naive Catherine. Even at 14 I knew girls at school like that!

Cabbie21 Fri 01-Nov-24 09:16:46

I please myself what I wear, but I only buy clothes I feel comfortable in. I try to avoid wearing the same clothes in succession when I will be seen by the same people, but as have 1000 tops that is not too difficult.
If I was going to a special event in a completely new context I would struggle to know what to wear.
My husband did not like casual clothes, so no fleece, no polo shirts, no jeans. Always a plain long sleeved shirt. Casual for him was a jumper rather than a jacket, but he preferred a jacket and tie and chose matching or toning colours well.

cornergran Fri 01-Nov-24 02:06:23

I definitely dress to please myself, just as well as Mr C is another who couldn’t tell anyone what I left the house wearing, best not be abducted then smile. If I mutter when thinking of something to wear for an event, getting rarer now, his stock response is wear what you’re comfortable in and do you know I usually do.

Mr C is aware he’s not good with colours and if left to his own devices selects some shall we say unusual combinations. If it doesn’t matter I say nothing, if we’re going out ‘the look’ will have him asking for advice, if it’s important enough I’ll select clothes in advance to save time. It works for us.

Redhead56 Fri 01-Nov-24 00:34:43

If I didn’t pick my dh clothes he would look like a clown nothing would match he has no dress sense what so ever. When we go out I choose for him. Back in the day when dressing to go out he did pay me wonderful compliments now he will say you look fine. It’s a bit deflating to be honest but I bite back by saying “have a look in the mirror you only look good because I picked your outfit”

Skydancer Thu 31-Oct-24 22:23:11

My DH has no clue what clothes I have nor when I buy anything new. He would love me to tell him what to wear but I won’t do it as I’m not his mother. He really struggles with what to wear and I find it ridiculous.

Deedaa Thu 31-Oct-24 21:39:25

I've always worn what I wanted. I did get it wrong once when I was first going out with DH to be in 1969. We were going to a car club dance and I wore a stunning long silver lace dress from Biba. It had a low neck and flowing medieval style sleeves. His face was a picture when he saw it! All the other girls were wearing clothes they could have done an oil change in. He had no idea about clothes himself, but I was able to do a few tactful tweaks. The one thing we did agree about was that he would never be seen outside the house in jogging bottoms unless he was actually dead.

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Sun 27-Oct-24 21:54:39

My friends and I always make an effort when we go out together as you can see.

HeavenLeigh Sun 27-Oct-24 20:52:11

I’ve always dressed for myself if my husband ever said he didn’t like it I’d still continue to wear it, he has his style I have mine. We both know which styles we suit

Grandma70s Sun 15-Sept-24 15:58:32

Goodness, so many of you choosing your husband’s clothes and even putting them out for him! I didn’t even do that for my children, after they were capable of making their own decisions.

I think I have always dressed for myself. I wouldn’t wear something if anybody (not just a husband) said they didn’t like it, but on the whole they don’t.

Kim19 Sun 15-Sept-24 15:31:16

My husband used to ask me to pick out three coordinated sets of shirts and tie and he would choose the one that appealed most to his mindset for the day. Nuts but I loved it. He was crazy fun......

Sara1954 Sun 15-Sept-24 13:44:09

I wear what I like, I never ask anyone’s opinion.
My husband wouldn’t know if I was wearing something I bought yesterday, or ten years ago,

Visgir1 Sun 15-Sept-24 12:55:59

My DH, never comments about my clothes, so I wear what I want.
He wears what I buy him, he has no colour sense, always asked does this go? I would never trust him to buy anything for me. He bought me a jumper once for Christmas, my Neice asked him had he ever met his wife? That went back.
I don't trust him to buy his own clothes either. Thank good he wore a Military Uniform to work then a suit he only had to select a tie.
I recently asked him, if I went missing could he describe what I was wearing, laughing he said No.

Parsley3 Sun 15-Sept-24 10:17:34

MrP rarely makes any comment about what I am wearing. However, I do know that he dislikes those wide legged trousers that are fashionable just now. Clown trousers he calls them and to be fair to him, they really don't suit my shape. I do admire them on other women, though. Apart from that I dress to suit whatever I am doing.

Freya5 Sun 15-Sept-24 10:02:56

Yes, I suit only myself in the way I dress. Did when married, do now as a single woman.

M0nica Sun 15-Sept-24 06:54:47

DH is a Koumpounophobic (a fear of buttons), not extreme but sufficient to mean that in retirement he wears only jeans and T shirts and jeans and long sleeved sweaters.

Shirts with ties going out of fashion has been a godsend. He can pull the shirt over his head like a T shirt and leave the neck open.

I have always assumed DH was an adult and what he wore was up to him, if it was inappropiate, that was his problem, not mine. When he travelled on business, which he did a lot, he was capable of deciding what clothes he needed and packing them for himself.

I may have been the Household Manager, but I was not his valet.

Mollygo Sat 14-Sept-24 22:11:49

I dress to please myself, but I do like it when my husband says I look nice.
Winterwhite I sometimes decide that something I’m wearing because I’ve already packed, looks good enough to take. It drives me mad!

Caleo Sat 14-Sept-24 21:53:45

If you want to go to a holiday destination as a nudist you had better be sure of the local rules and regulations!