Hairdressers never listen - why?

I don’t have the same issue as you, but my hair is thick, wavy and frizzy. In recent years I have found two hairdressers that understand my hair and it’s wonderful!

One thing that was a revelation to me was to stop getting layers cut into my hair except at the very bottom to control the curl. The weight of the longer layers keeps my hair more controlled, although I do still have odd days when I look like Crystal Tips!

I have also discovered the power of the various serums, oils and shampoos available for curly/frizzy hair - take a look in a big branch of Boots.

I can totally empathise!

I have extremely thick wavy hair and struggled for years to find the right hairdresser.
My solution was following someone with similar hair (or what looked like it) down the street! I complimented them and asked if they could tell me who did their hair.
Thankfully I wasn't arrested and now have someone who can give me a decent cut!

I have resorted to cutting my own …. I know what I like. I have thick slightly wavy hair, square ish face . Done wrong it looks like Lego hair …. Doesn’t take well to layering - goes wild and frizzy if too short . I’m 70’and in my adult life I have had 2 hairdressers in all that time who did it properly! One over 20 years and the other over 10. Since covid I have just cut my own - saves lots of tears and money - I do it over a period of time to get it right a little snip at a time. I get complemented on my cut so it must be ok ! For years now I have never ever felt that desperation of coming out of a hairdressers knowing it was all wrong having spent £££££’s and hours . Now I only have myself to blame and I rarely do ! Lots of you tube video tutorials. Next time you need a hair cut just try it yourself - dampish not wet - a little snip at a time and see how it goes then spend your saved money on nice dress or something ! Buy good scissors .

If you have afro-ish hair could to try a salon that specialises in it?
I think I would do that.

I sympathise, I too have thick curly hair which I love, but many hairdressers hate. The salon I use has one lovely person who enjoys cutting curly hair, the other won’t touch it. I appreciate that they know their own strengths.

After many years of mostly dire cuts I found that just having a dry cut works so much better than having it washed at the hairdressers. Yes, they have to dampen it down but they can still see the way the hair grows which is lost when it is thoroughly wet. I wash my hair the day before, not on the same day, it seems to work best although I don’t know why.

I agree with other posters, having it ‘thinned’ is a mistake that hairdressers seem to want to do, but it makes the hair unmanageable and in my case stick up in a weird way.

I have the same problem with hairdressers but my hair is thin and fine.

I'm another who only ever has a dry cut. I'm much more in control with it dry. It does mean the hairdresser can appreciate the length required.
I have a wonderful hairdresser, she really understands my hair. I hope you find someone who is sympathetic to your hair too.

Hairdressers don’t listen because most people don’t complain and continue to pay.
Anything else if it wasn’t acceptable would be returned for a refund, or not accepted in the first place.

You have my sympathy - I have really thick hair with a strong wave to it. Just about every hairdresser I’ve ever been to wants to cut my hair really short, which doesn’t suit my double chin (genetic in case anyone thinks I could simply lose weight for the latter). Plus I like my waves.

I think that many hairdressers don’t understand that (a) no one knows your hair better than you do (especially after 70+ years) and (b) they need to see the haircut in context with the face it is to frame!

So I carefully explain all of the above and I have been known to jump up and emphatically say “I asked you please to not cut my hair short at the back because it doesn’t suit me”!

I do think you have to intervene if the cut is not turning out according to what you asked for.

I feel your pain. My hair is very thick and very strong which few hairdressers seem to get the hang of. The worst thing is, my hairline at the back grows upwards - completely vertical. I either land up with a mullet or hair that sticks out at right angles to my neck.

Probably only had 2 or 3 hairdressers in my life who have got it right.

After my last haircut my daughter told me I looked like a milkmaid in an old Dutch Master painting

Glad I'm not the only one, just been to the Hairdressers today and I saw her raise her eyebrows at one of her colleagues because I was trying to explain the cut I wanted. It's time they realised that you are paying them to cut your hair the way you want it . Also most hairdressers today seem only able to do a bob ie long bob, short bob ,graduated bob , layered bob, or a short back and sides.

About 20 years ago a hairdresser suggested I take a photo of a style I liked and a good stylist would know if the style suited me . So that’s what I do now and I’ve never had a problem with hairdressers. It helps that my hair is straight and quite thick .

My hair is curly and I hate it. I think I have finally got to grips with straightening it. I have it cut with long top layers and a fringe. I never stay for it to be blow dried as it always looks bouncy and wavy which I hate. I only wash it every few days. Then I use leave in conditioner. When it’s dry I use straighteners. Then I smooth it over with a little bit of oil. I use the straighteners every day carefully taking care not to go too close to the roots. The worst thing for my hair, as anyone with curly hair will know, is damp. In winter I always wear a hat when I go out.

I had a hairdresser once ask me whether I would tell an artist how to paint my portrait…

I have also got thick hair which is prone to a curl. For me, layers are a no no and also short hair. I wear mine as a longish bob and the weight helps to pull the curl out. I just have minimal layers at the bottom so I don’t look like Christmas tree. John Frieda frizz free range is also the answer.

Agree with every word. I think they look at us and see "old lady" - then proceed with their standard "old lady" haircut and fire you out the door!!

Rather a sweeping statement OP! A curly hair specialist is the way to go. They will err on the conservative side though as they know curly hair can end up a lot shorter when dry. If you want it a certain length then clearly asking them to make it shorter by a specific amount such as 2cm should avert disasters. Hope you have better luck with a new one.

I wear hearing aids and ask for my ears to be covered. My hairdresser just says you can't see them and proceeds to cut it round my ears.
I would change but that would be awkward as she is a friend. My appointments are booked in every four weeks from now until Christmas.

I had long hair for many years (think Cathy McGowan) because it was a style a hairdresser couldn't ruin. Once I had it cut short
I had endless trouble. However clearly I explained it I never got what I wanted. Then, about 10 years ago, my husband started to have a mobile barber cut his hair. I realised that my hair was just as short so I asked him to do mine too. Over the years he has battled with almost every hair on my head, until it behaves itself and stays in place. Result!