Wedding guest dress etiquette

I'm going to a wedding at the weekend and am wearing a red floral dress. I bought it to take on holiday in case we went somewhere formal to eat, but the people I went with said thy weren't planning to dress up, so I've never worn it, and I don't want it to sit in the wardrobe until it doesn't fit.

I think the mothers of the bride and groom, bridesmaids and maybe siblings of the B&G should consider the photos and maybe co-ordinate their outfits, but everyone else should wear what they like (obviously avoiding white and looking smart being a given). If you are going to be in the photos, the photographer can position you next to someone whose colours don't actively clash, but the odds are very low that it will matter.

Unless the couple specify a colour scheme, it’s perfectly fine to wear a red dress. Many wedding guests say, “if you like your dress, wear it and enjoy the day” and advise that the only real faux pas is dressing in white, not bold colours like red.

merlotgran: I'll be 62 on the day of the wedding.

The wedding is not until next July anyway so that's nearly a year away. Plenty of time to look for another dress if you decide to not wear the red one.

I think everyone is getting the wrong idea about the colour thing. It is usually just close family who co-ordinate their outfits.

Re red dress. It does look beautiful on you. Really does. However I would agree to check with the bride. It happened to me a few years ago and I was the only one with a bright outfit, it did look a bit OTT in the photos in my opinion. I then wished I had a more neutral outfit, but I hate shopping … let me know how you solved the dilemma 🐸

Heavens! Hasn’t happened at any weddings I’ve been to recently. Two in the past year. Being told what colours to wear at a wedding is just ridiculous.

Is this a Bridezilla thing?

Wear your beautiful dress. Enjoy your day!

To add.... If you did decide against wearing that lovely dress, remember the Sales are on now or soon. You might be able to pick up something else suitable at half the price.
I did that one year fabulous dress about a 1/3 of the original price.

You look great, I love the dress

Wear the red dress

If you feel comfortable in the dress wear it but ditch the fascinator all eyes will probably be on the bridal party

That dress is lovely you should definitely wear it .

That’s a lovely summer wedding dress - I wouldn’t think twice about wearing it. And why waste a lovely dress that could have another ‘outing’?

I would like to respectfully ask the OP how old she is?

ftm420 you look really lovely in that dress…

how about treating yourself to a ‘quality’ pashmina to go with it instead of the hat? Just an idea!

It's a Summer wedding so I think you can wear a bright colour if it suits you. I wish I could wear red.

Pastels wash me out so I'd struggle if I had to go to a wedding with a pastels dress code.

merlotgran

Getting the memo is just a turn of phrase. No dress rules have been issued as far as I can see.

The post is a bit confusing.

Just because guests at one wedding years ago wore muted colours, it doesn't necessarily follow that guests at another wedding in the future will be wearing similar colours. They might all be wearing bold colours and ftm420 might think she didn't get the memo if she turned up in grey or beige.

Getting the memo is just a turn of phrase. No dress rules have been issued as far as I can see.

eddiecat78

I'm just very impressed that you are confident a dress that fits now will still fit in 12 months!

😂

I remember someone I worked with having a dress code (requested, not compulsory) for his wedding, at his bride's insistence. I wasn't invited but saw the photos.

missdeke

Where what you want, I think the only don't that you should obey is 'don't wear white if the bride is in white'.

I'd expand that out to "don't wear white - especially if the bride isn't wearing it".

There aren't that many people that will do that - and I was certainly shocked recently when I saw wedding photos out on the Net of the wedding of one of my erstwhile nephews and there was my erstwhile sister-in-law (who is not that different in age to myself at that) wearing a dress that was short, a bit "flouncy" and low-necked. Rather proved the point as to what is not acceptable dress...as my first thought (before I recognised her) was "I can see who is the bride at that wedding - but who is that second bride?"

Do wedding invitations really come with instructions about what guests should wear? Think I would decline the invitation if I received one like that.

I'm just very impressed that you are confident a dress that fits now will still fit in 12 months!

Where what you want, I think the only don't that you should obey is 'don't wear white if the bride is in white'.

Seapebble

It's gorgeous and you look lovely! If you think you might fret on the day, why not ask just to make sure there isn't a colour scheme? Otherwise go for it and be proud of yourself. I wouldn't wear the fascinator- they are very dated - not many women even wear hats these days to weddings. However, same applies- if you like it, wear it!

It depends what part of the country one is in to a certain extent.

Back in south-west England literally decades ago the thought didnt cross my mind to wear a hat and, as said, my dress I wore was a bit smarter than normal.

Cue for decades later and going shopping with mother of the groom here in West Wales (she's also from a south-west England city) and she asked around about the best place here to buy an outfit for her sons wedding and got a general recommendation to a particular one-off clothes shop. So off we both went to it and with similar specifications in mind for what she should buy to be mother-of-groom, walked in and virtually put our sunglasses on and realised there would be nothing we would want for her. That's when we realised that wedding clothes here don't seem to be "smart, understated" we were both picturing - they were bright colours, sequins, very glitzy compared to what we both had in mind.

Cue for there was loads of hats there and we could see that seems to be the norm here - so we did pick out one of the plainer hats in a subsequent visit there - after she'd had to buy the sort of dress we were picturing from elsewhere - so it was smart and elegant...but plain enough and not "hitting us both in the eyes".

So yep...the part of the country one is in does seem to influence the way people dress somewhat - so it may be a "hats area" there - where I wouldnt even think of it personally.

M0nica

I didn't know there was an etiquette for what you wear at a wedding. I usually just put on my best bib and tucker and perhaps new shoes or a handbag.

Even for my son's wedding after looking for something new and finding nothing I liked, I wore a silk suit I had bought a few years previously and worn twice. I put some braid on the jacket, bought new shoes and a top.

Same here for my son’s wedding. I found a lovely woman who made me a beautiful full length silk skirt which matched the lovely jacket I’d bought. I just couldn’t find the right skirt in the shops.

I then found a shop who coloured my satin shoes and bag to match my outfit. I was delighted with the outcome.. It was a long time ago but I’ve still got it all but I can no longer get into the skirt as I had a much smaller waist then. I’ve still got the hat too. I should give it away really but can’t.

OP I should wear your lovely red dress but maybe wear a short jacket over.