Phone photos invading privacy

It would have been better manners to have introduced herself as your daughters friend. Then she could have said she'd love to send your daughter a pic of the children having a lovely time with you if you're OK with that,? Surely that's common courtesy? To just take a photo and send it is quite rude without even speaking to you imo.

cc many years ago one of my childminder friends was looking after a little boy who was adopted.
She was under strict instructions that he mustn't be included in any photos of our activities and we were all happy to comply.

To hear that some schools, of all places, don't understand the need for this or act accordingly is really surprising and would be really annoying.

Maybe I should be a little more suspicious, but in general think most people are good and decent. Especially if they are friends.

Baggs

*It's very hard to get schools and clubs to understand that she really doesn't want them to be in group photos or photos of activities that are posted on social media.*

When my youngest daughter was at school less than a decade ago, it was possible to withhold permission for one's child to be in photographs that would be published publicly (in papers or on social media, for example). This was the same when I was leading a cub scout group. Specific permission has to be given.

Schools and clubs have no excuse for "not understanding" this.

Yes, you're right, and she's made it clear for all her childrens schools, clubs and activities. But recently her daughter went on an activity holiday organised exclusively for adopted children and the organiser tried to persuade her that it was fine for my granddaughter to be in group photographs online, claiming that it was "part of the bonding process".
Much the same happened at her previous primary school where her request for them not to be in published photos was blatantly ignored, though she did manage to stop them by going to the school and making a fuss. Just what a hard-working single parent with a full time job wants to waste her time doing.

silverlining48

The intent of the action might be she thought it nice to send a photo of her friend’s mum with the grandchildren in lovely surroundings?
Maybe. Who knows, why the suspicion?

I would have been suspicious too about who else she might send those photos.

We have had misuse of children's photos drummed into us for years.

That said, the good lady presumably meant it as a kindly act, and will not upload these photos on any social media, but she would have done well to approach OP and say she had taken some snaps - would you like to see them? Shall I send them to your daughter before I delete them again?

That is what this retired teacher would have done.

I would never put my grandchild on SM, never mind any other children!
I hate these vloggers posting videos, of strangers in the background of their videos, I think they should blank out the faces. I went nuts when a relative uploaded photos of myself & grandchild on FB, told them to take it down, which they did. Think it so rude!

I work with children and this is a grey area. We can send photos of the children doing an activity which is lovely but we have to blur the other children out. Similarly I’ve friends who have said oh I saw you with your grandkids your dil has out it on Facebook? I don’t do Facebook and again it would be nice to be asked!

That was invading your privacy sheshould have asked you if it was ok to take a photo. Just look at schools no one is allowed to take photos at any event now so many rules

She should have had the decency to ask your permission to take photos of the children. No one except the parents (or grandparents) if allowed should take photos of children! Not allowed!
Who else has this person sent them to?
You nor your daughter knows!
I’d be furious

About 10 years ago, in a shopping centre , I was reprimanded by a security guard for taking a photo of my 3 year old grandson. He was enjoying himself on one of those coin operated rides and I took a photo. There was nobody nearby . The centre was very quiet as it had just opened. I wouldn’t have taken the photo if there was another person in the background.

I was firmly told no photos allowed. The fact that it was my grandchild and we were the only only ones there didn’t seem to matter. I asked why and was given a 🤷🏽‍♂️

I think that in this day and age she should have known better. You shouldn’t take photos of other peoples children without consent.

I don't think I'd like it either tbh

The OP specifically says that the photos were sent to her daughter. This does not mean they were posted on social media.

It's very hard to get schools and clubs to understand that she really doesn't want them to be in group photos or photos of activities that are posted on social media.

When my youngest daughter was at school less than a decade ago, it was possible to withhold permission for one's child to be in photographs that would be published publicly (in papers or on social media, for example). This was the same when I was leading a cub scout group. Specific permission has to be given.

Schools and clubs have no excuse for "not understanding" this.

It's just not the done thing, nowadays, especially as many people post on social media. There could be a post where someone posts (for example) "we're at #Legoland today!" and then someone who clicks the hashtag can not only see where they are, but whoever else is unfortunate enough to be in the background of the photo. Considering some children are protected, it's really not ok.

Septimia

It would have been more courteous if the friend had told you what she'd done - or, better, have asked first.

Posting pictures of children on social media without parental permission is a big 'no no'.

This. Sending a photo to your daughter is one thing - but if she posted it on social media, then she needs to be told that this is most definitely an issue.
However innocently it's meant, next time she could post a picture of a child whose abusive parent was searching for her, and enable them to track her down...😮
Think before you do anything like this - and always, always ask permission.

My daughter's children are adopted and she doesn't like them to appear on social media because the Google image searching is now so efficient. It's very hard to get schools and clubs to understand that she really doesn't want them to be in group photos or photos of activities that are posted on social media. The legal side of their adoption was contentious and, though they do see their family sometimes, she doesn't want them to invade her family's privacy if they find the children online.

My 10 year old grandson wanted me to video him. There was an adult with 2 young children there… He went up to the adult and said ‘my nanna is going to be filming me, are you okay with your children being in it?’ The adult thanked him for checking. So I would always be careful when taking photos even in a public place as you don’t know where they’re being posted.

I wouldn't like it.

Public photos of "general" scenes which happen to have strangers in are one thing (and legal obviously - as is this) but it's a bit thoughtless not to ask if you actually know someone!

Frank - that was my response on reading the OP. There’s no suggestion the friend took the photograph with anything other than kind thoughts. She’d have been sensible to introduce herself but heyho.

If it was a nice photo of me and my grandchildren having fun then both me and my daughter would have been delighted and would have thanked the sender.

Someone I know saw a photograph of their garden in a brochure advertising conservatories, she took them to court and won, just saying.

Better not to do that just in case, you never know!!

Towards the end of my time renting a snippy little clerk from the agency came around to do an"inspection". As always I had my nephew present to encourage her to leave asap.

Without asking my permission she began to take photos. When I challenged her she said it was now "industry standard" to show the LL.

I asked to see them, took the phone and deleted all but two which showed recent repairs. I told her that she did not have my permission to photograph anything which showed my personal possessions and instructed her to leave at once. She had disrespected me by not asking first. I reminded her sternly in my best teacher voice that inspections are for the "fabric of the building" and to note anything which may need repair or replacement. They are not for the titillation of some third party.

I refused any further inspections.

I think it's weird, sneaky and inappropriate that your daughter's friend did this. I don't find it funny.

The thing is, it would be easy not to realise someone is photographing you as they could be taking a selfie.