Help with French please

nous ne voulons pas un dortoir

"we do not want a dormitory" in French

Dortoir is dormitory Aka.

nous aimerions chambres séparées

"we would like separate rooms" in French

Aka. It's dortoir.

nous aimerions rencontrer des hommes beaux

"we would like to meet some handsome men" in French

Thank you all. I rang up earlier and got his answering machine, which threw me a but, but I managed to leave a message, I think it was on the lines of 'I have the two British earmen in the sill at the poloce station, I will return them to you as soon as pissable'

I am reminded of the wonderful Gerard Hoffnung's mistranslations from foreign brochures such as "French widow in every bedroom affording amazing prospects"
Or the French one about "Nous voudrions un matelot dans chaque chambre". (if anyobdy is wondering it was meant to be a mattress in each room)

phoenix I'm sorry, it just has to be said: Oooh la la!

My daughter, au-pairing in France, knowing her employer didn't like her children imbibing additives in their food, once picked up a 4-pack of yoghurt and asked the shopkeeper 'il y a les preservatives dedans?'

Les hommes doivent être riches

The men must be wealthy

So, what we have here then is handsome, wealthy sailors with flavoured condoms? Yes, I can see how that would work.

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? Mais nes't pas dans un dortoir. J'aime les hommes tres gentil!
Please feel free to correct any mistakes I stopped learning it about 50yrs ago.

J'ai la peinture de la madonna tombé avec les gros seins

I have the painting of the fallen madonna with the big boobies

Reminds me of the (probably apocryphal) EU mistranslations.
Frozen semen : un matelot surgelé
Les agriculteurs français vis à vis le marché commun : French farmers live to screw the Common Market
Il faut profiter de la sagesse normande : We must all learn from Norman Wisdom.

I did once pick up a leaflet about forest fires which was hilariously mistranslated and a friend told us the the German version said, " Do not throw hot women out of the car".

La vie en rose – the pink aeroplane?

I have a book called "Lost in Translation" which has some very funny ones from signs, hotel and restaurant translations around the world.

Sort of similar but not quite, |I bought a friend of mine an enamel sign for her kitchen:

www.amazon.co.uk/Dont-Hard-Work-Kill-enamelled/dp/B003ATF5YO

The Ambassor's lady wife, at an outdoor function, fanning herself, said to the gentleman beside her "Ah! Que je suis en chaleur!"

En chaleur = on heat...