Splitting the bill on holiday

17 of us will be doing this for the first time this year. We have children (and their own families) with VASTLY different incomes, some are vegetarian, some eat almost exclusively organic, one is dieting (!) one is used to eating very cheaply and one is a bit of a "foodie".

MY plan is to do the first shop. I intend to buy SOME organic, plenty of veg and all the basics. My "foodie" daughter can get creative! I am trusting that good will, understanding and thoughtfulness will prevail. After all, it's only a week!

As regards your holiday Bonsai, if your son has suggested splitting the food costs in half then he probably realises that they tend to eat more expensive items. Maybe you could have a quiet word with him to clarify, and also help your daughter out a bit if you are able.

I do hope you have a lovely time.

When we went with DS, DDIL and dgs The costs were pretty much split in two - they paid for the cottage, I paid for car hire /fuel and we each chucked x Euros into a kitty and it went from there. No problems whatsoever, very easy going and on the last night we used what was left to go out for a meal.
If we'd run short then we would have just topped up the kitty.
Meals-wise we just mucked in together doing the cooking etc.

When we have holidayed en masse, we just chuck the receipts from chopping into a bowl and divi it up by the number of people at the end.

If the receipt contains something you bought for yourself exclusively then you just cross that off the receipt first.

I am going away with all the family and lots of other friends to France in August. What we did the last time we did this was for each family to take responsibility for a meal on a particular day. That family would make a big thing of it - taking the children round a French supermarket, choosing recipes and all that family mucking in with the cooking. It worked very well. Each family's cooking day was part of the fun of the holiday.

We have had self catering holidays for the last few years with DS and DD and their families. They have different tastes. I have always done and paid for an on-line shop to be delivered when we arrive, covering basics and possibly 2/3 days meals and buying what I know they will all eat. They then probably do a smaller shop each during the week and buy the booze they like.

It is so special to be able to holiday like this all together, I would hate to think that this issue could spoil it. I'm lucky that I can afford to do this, otherwise I would ask them both to give me the same amount - something your DD feels happy with and make up the shortfall buying organic, but not going overboard on extras ( DiL can add if she wants to). Wanting organic especially for your children can be very important to some. Memories of these holidays are so precious!

We have always found that a kitty where everyone puts in an equal share works well. Shopping and cooking is done in twos, not necessarily married couples, so excessive spending is loosely monitored. If someone wants an extra then the onus is on them to go out and buy it.

The family should not be dictated by DiL and in my opinion she should get over herself or sort herself out on her own. On the other hand your son could pay over the odds so everyone gets to eat organic chicken and expensive foodstuffs.

It doesn't sound to me as if there is any arguing, just that Bonsai like most Mum's is eager to keep the peace! Do sort it out before you go, tension or resentment would be the kiss of death for a happy holiday!

I agree with just splitting the bill 3 ways. If that proves to be a problem, then you can decide something else if the same group ever go away again.

If you go out for a meal, the children are young so count two children as one adult and split the bill by the number of adults.

Keep it simple or it will spoil the holiday.

A lot of us went away together last year; one person offered to organise a huge online shop to be delivered to the accommodation. If anyone wanted anything special in the way of food or drink or special dietary needs they brought it with them.
Some of us were couples, some families with young children and we all paid the same amount per adult in advance.
Everyone was quite easy-going and it worked out very well with not much left over.

As you are self-catering could you buy organic chicken and milk even if you don't normally and visit a local farm shop for veg and eggs - a compromise?

Totally with Riverwalk on this one. Honestly, if they are alreay arguing about this beforehand- probably best not to go on holiday together.

We have taken various DDs to cottages. We have paid for accommodation and then dd has done and paid the online delivery to collect on the way or delivered for arrival. I take the precaution of having the first meal in our car,fresh to be frozen if necessary as on one memorable occasion the first nights food on the food plan was not included. Op why not ask the organic food expensive meals DIL to do the first online shop so all her specials would be included and dd does a second one. We once shared for a food shop with friends in Japan. The japanese wife would do the shopping but insisted on fresh strawberries every day for "her health", out of season and imported they were the most expensive item in a very expensive country at that time.

We stay regularly in a cottage with DD, SiL, GCs, plus DS and partner, not forgetting the dog! We, as GPs, see it as an occasion to spend valuable time together and we pay for most of it happily. I always get the Waitrose delivery to come an hour after our arrival so we can have all the essentials in the cupboards and fridges, a bit like a starter pack, paid for by us, (around £100). On the Sunday we usually go out for a roast dinner and they pay half the total bill each. On the Monday I usually knock up something for everyone, but from Tuesday onwards people start to do their own shopping, visiting farm shops and picking up produce they like the look of. It just sort of evolves as the week goes by, and people end up doing their own cooking, or eating out, so I wouldn't be too rigid from the outset who pays for what.

If you go away in a group, even family, then there has to be give and take.

Unless your son and DIL expect to eat caviar and lobster every day I would suggest the food bill be split three ways. Surely organic veg and chicken is not going to make that much difference when cooking for 6 adults & 4 children.

Shopping separately would mean cooking separate meals as well, as son and DIL wouldn't eat the non-organic chicken, etc.

If your DD is short of cash and you can afford it, then you should subsidise her.

That's a good idea NanaandGrampy, making the set amount per meal to be a creative challenge.

Nonnie, my daughter isn't hard pressed for money, she likes to budget her money and make sure she's getting the most for it. She manages her money wisely so she still lives comfortably, if she didn't, she'd be struggling.

My son is a very high earner and doesn't really have any financial woes. He doesn't do the food shop, his wife does, so he doesn't really know how much is being spent.

Your son must be aware that their shopping is more expensive so why not simply ask him if he would be prepared to pay half of everything and you ad your daughter share the rest? He will know his sister's situation and perhaps be glad that it is all out in the open. It would be better to sort it all out before you go so that it doesn't spoil the holiday.

We often go away with both DD's and their families. We all agree a weekly amount that goes into the kitty. That covers all the basics bread milk etc and we allocate a certain amount for each days meals. Whoevers turn it is to cook has to use that budget to produce a meal.

We have a lot of fun getting creative.

On top of that - if anyone wants something special then they pay for that themselves. All booze is bought by whoever wants to drink it, if they want certain foods then they buy them.

As time as gone on we find that this works pretty well. It helps that the three main cooks ( and grocery purchasers) are myself and my 2 DDs . Its probably more tricky with a Dil.

BUT we have also done this with unrelated friends and on the whole its been successful.

An alternative ( when I was still working) was that I did the first shop including all basics - and then we used the kitty thereafter - I could afford it and it made my DDs stretched budgets go just a little further.

Good Luck Bonsai and have a lovely holiday !!

I think my daughter is concerned because my son and his wife (and I think it's mainly just his wife...) insist on organic veg and chicken (she will only eat chicken) so even their main meals are expensive. She has suggested doing two separate food shops, but they don't like the sound of that...

How about everybody putting an equal amount into a housekeeping kitty and doing the shopping for basics from that? Anything "special" for one person could then be brought with them.
Absolutely should not be an issue to spoil a family holiday.