Things I learnt on my first cruise

Very interesting all of you - Thank you!

We cruise often, only river cruises. There are only 150 to 200 people, no long queues, free wifi, free excursions, no dressing up, a tipping scheme that makes sense, individual room air con. Drinks include wines and beers at lunch and dinner, available spirits card.

I think you were unlucky with a couple of your points.
1 Some itineraries take in an overnight moring.
2 Gala evenings and the dress code depend on the ship.
3 I'm not a vetran cruiser but we've usually been given X amount on board spend as part of our deal, which covers our drinks bill (not big drinkers)
4 AC too cold, bloody annoying but not something I've come across.
5 I've never used the salon.
It's not to everyones taste, sorry didn't enjoy it more Teetime

tbh always been put off by

outbreaks of norovirus

environmental impact

living in exotic country and seeing passengers ripped off for artefacts and getting no feel at all for the countrt or it's culture

so not going on one soon!

That's why we go with Saga.
Small boats and....EVERYTHING included. Also smaller boats mean smaller ports so you can just get off and do your own thing if you don't want to go on the excellent excursions.
People do dress up....yet somehow no one is grand or pompous...and the menu is always extra special (pretty darn good anyway)
The Saga boats have quiet spots where you can sit and read a book - the only interruption will be a friendly waiter offering a drink once in a while.

Oh and although the brochure said Free wi - Fi it was only to get onto the cruise website and see your bill- otherwise it was $100 for 90 minutes!

We didn't queue to get off only the last day as they didn't stagger it enough and think to let wheelchair users off first and we weren't searched for alcohol but they did scan bags the same as at airports. They don't let you bring alcohol on but I bet some regulars know how to get round that one.

The plus points of course are the Gold Star service, excellent standards of cleanliness and hygiene, the food was excellent although very much geared to American tastes so almost impossible to maintain a healthy diet, clean towels and sheets daily and a very friendly helpful crew.

You mean its really like being in prison, but with better, more expensive food.

It never really has grabbed me and your post really tells it as is

Can I add
You queue to get off the boat every time you stop and
You are searched very time you get back on (supposedly to prevent terrorism but actually to stop you bringing on cheap booze!)

All reasons why I would never go on a cruise.