Being let down by a holiday companion

I'd happily go with a friend for a few days as long as we agreed to do what we wanted if there were things we wanted to do and the other one didn't.
But bad memories of agreeing to go away with the inlaws as they insisted we did absolutely everything together, wouldn't eat a picnic anywhere other than their campavan, so despite being so very near a place I really was looking forward to visit we couldn't because where would we have a picnic...

I'm single and live alone, I've never married so I only ever travel alone but the trouble I've had is when I've arrived at a hotel complete with luggage ready to get my room key and the male receptionist asks ''is your husband parking the car?''.

I snap at them quite loudly ''no, I've never married and I'm more than capable of parking my own car, I don't need a bloke to do it for me and keep your repulsive sexist attitude to yourself unless you want me to have you sacked!''.

That knocks them for six!

My friend went home half way through a holiday as her boyfriend ended their relationship just before we went. She was in her 60s and the relationship was of short duration. Like Biglouis I discovered the delights of travelling alone. Used Italian trains alone and went where I wanted.
Wonderfully freeing

Astitchintime

mabon1

How dare you tell anyone to put a holiday on their credit card.

mabon.......I think the OP was referring to the car repair, not the holiday

My husband, who was a bank manager, always did so. The reason being, if anything went wrong, one had far more protection than paying “cash”. The debt was paid back immediately, before any interest was due.

We hate going on holiday with other people, too selfish I guess to want to compromise another family’s ideas. We did it once in 1980 and swore blind we’d never do it again. We don’t like to follow a plan, we prefer to take each day as it comes, which we know doesn’t suit everyone.

mabon1

How dare you tell anyone to put a holiday on their credit card.

mabon.......I think the OP was referring to the car repair, not the holiday

How dare you tell anyone to put a holiday on their credit card.

We once went out to dinner with a couple who regularly went on holiday with different couples but never came back friends with them. We asked them what the problem was and they said 'The other couple never want to do what we have planned for them'. Mmm. They actually could not see that they were the difficult ones.

A find of mine went off backpacking in Australia for a year, alone, as her travel companion let her down just a few days before they were due to go.

This reminds me of when in the late 70s, I asked a friend to come with me on a holiday to see family in Europe. She only had to pay the train fare (flights too expensive then!) as the accommodation and food would have been provided. Not much pocket money needed either as we would have been taken to places by our hosts.
A few weeks before she said she couldn't afford it and couldn't come. Luckily my younger sister was able to come along, though she was still a teenager.
When I returned and showed my friend the photos, and told her of my adventures, she said she hadn't realised we would have had such a good time. I think she thought my family lived in a hut in a field or something.
We did remain very good friends though and only a few weeks ago we were discussing holidays and I said I might go to see my family again, and get the train for nostalgia's sake.
'You know,' she said, 'I've never been there.'
Mmm I thought, you could have once, I'm not asking you again...!

When my son was much younger, in his early twenties, he and a friend booked a cruise. The friend panicked. at the very last minute (he’s a bit agarophobic) and refused to go.. My son, who at that age was quite shy, bravely went alone, and managed to enjoy it. Being so badly let down was a terrible shock to him, though.

When I went to Iran for the second time (1990s) you had to travel with a group to get a visa. I travelled out and back with them but soon ditched them and made my own way around. They were really worried that something was going to "happen" to me. Iran is a very safe country providing you obey the dress code and the local laws. Syria (before the civil war broke out) was also a safe country. Probably a lot safer than some parts of London.

I've had many issues with guests travelling together on holiday to save costs, often an expensive single supplement.
It can be very problematic, particularly if you don't know the person very well. Even if you do know them well, they may have very different travel habits and interests to you.
I have had to sort out single cabins and rooms many times for guests that just couldn't get along. The end result was that it cost them more and often cost a friendship too.
I have also travelled with a friend but in the end decided the compromise was too much. Solo travelling is so liberating, although it can be terrifying now and then too. I love travelling on my own, although for some places I would travel on a group tour but as a solo.

I agree with the evening meal bit BigLouis I ve happily holidayed alone and have no problem as I chat to anyone and anything anyway but the evening meal was a bit of a strain I took a book with me and pretended to be over involved with that The rest of the day is a doddle and I prefer not to have to go where others want to unless it’s close relatives then it’s fine

I have started going on coach tours. All arrangements made for me, companions to travel and eat with, but my own room and I can go off on my own in free time.
Of course there are still compromises to be made.

Since DH died, I’ve travelled quite a lot - he hated holidays and felt them a complete waste of money.
I have 3 travelling companions and I’ve accepted the various compromises. Going with my friend is a cheap (ish) fly and flop. We do very little, but I get through a book a day! When I go away with my Sis-in-Law, she’s a Gold Medal Winning Shopper (I’m not, hence the compromise). Going with DD2 is bliss - a wheelchair user so we get assistance from start to finish, with no queues. (There is a downside, having to check in an hour before everyone else). We just go with the flow - museums, art galleries, a bit of sun, some shopping, brunches and late dinners out with the locals.
However, I’m really grateful to be going anywhere - off to Cyprus on Saturday.

The evening meal is the one downside of being alone yes. However I have often found after a full day of sighseeing I am so tired I just want a snack in the hotel and an early night.

I can imagine that travelling with someone else does involve a lot of compromise and give and take, but the difficulty comes when one of the party is unreasonable in their expectations or willingness to do what the other one does. I agree that you are better off going on your own, and I think that should I find myself in a similar situation, I too would travel alone, although it is nice to be able to chat about the day's visits and trips, with someone else, over dinner and a glass of wine.

No, thankfully. But I do find travelling with whoever in general, does involve quite a lot of compromising.