I have loved t'Archers since I was last in knickerbockers and I shall fight the scriptwriters on the blogs and forums to resist their pitiful attempts to try and administer their soapy enemas without mercy to our favourite collection of politically correct muck-spreaders, country squires, windbags, hypocrites, psychopaths, Morris dancers and Linda Snell. There'll be no Christmas truce from me, fraternising in the no-mans land of false Christmas bonhomie with the massed hacks of the Beeb's rent-a-script department. This will be the mother of all radio battles. Abuse will be hurled without restraint. Don't rest, ye Merry Gentlemen, you better had despair, for your time is coming. The couch potatoes have had enough. You have been warned!