16 Kids and Counting

I have had 5 children, and they all got the same amount of time and attention. Although 5 doesn`t seem excessive, my mother had 5, and hubby`s mother had 6, I did take action to make sure I didn`t have any more.

Amazing mother of 12 said that she throws away her children's white socks and buys new rather than wash them!!!!!

The family with 16 children were OK because both parents were happy to have so many children but I wasn't so happy about the other family. It seemed a bit one sided with the father wanting more and the mother saying enough is enough. I seem to remember that in the last series the mother was told that she shouldn't have any more babies for the sake of her health but that the father insisted that nothing should be done to prevent further pregnancies.

My MIL is the 11th of 14. Her mother was the village midwife who also brought up some of her grandchildren after their mothers were widowed in WW2 and went on to remarry. MIL still says it was first up, best dressed!

Gran as she was known was widowed in her 50s, she had a smallholding and grew all her own vegetables, reared pigs, kept hens, and welcomed her GC who were widely spread over the UK for holidays. She was 92 when she passed away.

Both DH and I are from a family of 3.

For many of us our parents large families were born before 1930. I think I heard quoted on the radio last week that their are only about 1500 families in the UK with more than 8 children and only 190 of them claim unemployment benefits

I am really surprised to read of so many large families as from my own experience, most people of my age group come from families of 2 or maybe 3 ,children. I always assumed that the Second World War had an inhibiting influence on families - fears for the future in the Cold War, availability of housing, economic necessity and increased opportunities for women in the workplace being among relevant factors. I know we felt 2 was too "neat" and were very happy to have a third DD although it took a bit more organisation to go on outings and some things were just out of the question with 3 children - especially if it involved public transport! I remember how the other 2, when she was about 1 - so they were 5 and 7 - came to me one day and said "Mummy, it's not that we don't love ***, but it was much more fun before she came"!!!

My father was the 4th of 11 and DH's mother 9th of 11 by the first marreage with, later, 2 half siblings only a year or two older than her own child.

My father's family on the whole have always been very close, with each other and there parents. 9 married, 6 had children, the other 3 couldnt rather than wouldnt. None had a family the size of their parents, those with children averaged 3 each. Less sure about MiL's family, they seem all to have not like their father, and were not close as a adults, most married but only ever had one child. For MiL this was for medical reasons, do not know the circumstances of the other.

DH's parents were both from a family of twelve children and my MIL used to tell me the school board man was always banging on the door. Her mother used to keep her at home to look after the younger children and do the washing and baking. It was so sad, she was a lovely person but she did not get the education she should have. My MIL's mother was 4 feet 11 inches tall, delivered 14 babies, 12 survived beyond infancy and outlived her husband by 40 years, she died when she was 92. No benefits as husband worked but in those days it was National Assistance which was means tested.

My daughter has six children, but they were born in pairs - the first pair 22months apart, the second pair 16 months apart and the last pair 14 months apart. There was enough of a gap between each pair for the youngest of the previous pair to have started school. They all got plenty of attention and all six are very happy, well adjusted and successful. Only the oldest says he does not want children (his brother already has two) but I expect that will change when he meets the right woman, and she does want them.
How on earth did people manage when large families were the norm - my mother and father were both one of seven siblings and I don't recall them ever complaining that they were neglected. Perhaps the little princes and princesses of today's small families could use a bit of 'benign neglect' instead of being constantly watched by their doting parents.

My husband's cousin had 5 children and a part time job. The children were all bright and intelligent and a pleasure to take out, but she always said that she felt stretched very thin trying to make sure that she gave each of them enough attention - and that was just with 5!
I remember doing a magazine quiz when my daughter was a baby to see how many children I should have. The answers I ticked proved that 2 children would be quite enough for me and I have to admit it was quite right! The 2 grandchildren are great fun, but it's been nice having a long break without any around

My own DH was one of 10 and it is interesting that only 4 of the siblings went on to have children of their own, and that limited to 2 or 3.

It was quite sad when one of the boys said that when he left home, it wouldn't matter, and would anyone notice, because there is always someone to take his place.

I think they came across really well but that amount of children is an incredibly selfish decision. What about resources, the planet etc etc. Yes, they are supporting themselves at the moment but I'm sure we all know that life can change on the turn of a coin. Having known a tragedy out the blue, leaving young children (not me), the whole of their lives is hanging by a thread. They could go from a happy laughing self-supporting family to a family that has to be split up and in care... none of us know what's round the corner.

Biologically, and that includes psychologically, what these people are doing is not strange. Until very recently in evolutionary terms (like, yesterday afternoon), the 'norm' for human females was to have as many children as they were able to have, either until they die or until the menopause. People who carry on like this are behaving naturally. the more kids you had the more you ensured that your genes carried on. That's what life is ultimately about.

It's the rest of us who have, for good reasons, made a brain adjustment, and some practical changes (using contraception) which mean that we are not behaving in a natural way. It may be a good way we have chosen, but it has yet to become natural in evolutionary terms. It'll take a while.

I've noticed on another thread that the main criticism is about choosing not to use contraception, as if having children was an intrinsically wrong thing to do. It isn't. It's a strange thing to do in our modern culture, perhaps, which doesn't encourage it, but it's not intrinsically wrong or strange. It's just our inherited biology and psyche at work. I guess some people just have a stronger reproductive urge than others.

Big deal. Not.

I haven't watched this, but think I saw a programme a while back about the couple in question, I believe the dad was a baker. I did marvel at them both at the time. How they coped God only knows, it's just the sheer logistics of day to day living, all the washing and the amount of food required and meal preparing. I am glad I had children, only two, my husband has four altogether ours and two from a previous marriage. Even with two, early years involved a certain amount of drudgery. There have been times when I feel children can suck the life out of you, particularly teen years. Can't imagine what it must be like times 16, perhaps the parents are too busy to notice. Do they get a lot of one to one with any of the children, or even each other? something I think that is quite important.

I felt sorry for the children as there was no time for even 5 minutes individual attention each. Who makes sure the homework is done? What happens at parents evenings? The parents seem remarkably fit but most children get at least the usual colds, coughs etc. Bad enough looking after 1 sick child or teething baby. If that was a Children's Home what would the council's staffing ratio have to be?

I find it quite fascinating. For the couple with the 16 who both wanted them, they seemed to cope so well, the children seemed so happy and well adjusted. However, some of the eldest ones in the family said they either were never having children or would only have one. It must have a huge effect on their lives, being one of 16, and also having to look after their young siblings... no wonder they've been put off motherhood!
Despite both parents seeming rational, I do think there is some strange deep seated need to go on and on like this... both Mum and Dad said even after 16, they weren't stopping yet.... might sound odd but I think they almost need some counselling to cope with stopping having more, if that makes sense.