Gransnet forums

TV, radio, film, Arts

Recently retired

(21 Posts)
GrandmaViv Sat 28-Oct-17 17:11:55

I am having trouble with being recently retired from a very responsible job. Being insulted by a bus driver, who sighed and looked skywards when I put my (first time used) bus pass down the wrong way. (I haven't been able to go on the bus again). I also get very depressed by all the many adverts in daytime re funeral plans etc. Do we have to have that many? If I met that lady with the stargazer lillies you would really not want to see my reaction.

NotTooOld Sat 28-Oct-17 17:21:18

Oh dear, GrandmaViv, I'm not the one to cheer you up as I don't much like being retired and becoming a non-person either. However, there are plenty on here who enjoy the whole thing and speak well of it. Give it ten minutes and they will be along to cheer you up.

Auntieflo Sat 28-Oct-17 17:41:24

It's when the bus will not accept your John Lewis card that I get upset, never mind, you'll get used to us soon enough GrandmaViv. smile

Luckygirl Sat 28-Oct-17 17:45:50

Being retired does not make you a "non-person"!!!!!!!

If the bus driver is rude you should report him/her.

glammanana Sat 28-Oct-17 17:56:21

I'd have told the Bus Driver that I was quite caperable of doing his job if he/she found it so boring !! the cheek of it.
I do think maybe you should look about at volunteering somewhere it will stop you watching the dreaded TV adverts for a start,if you like children try your local school as a one to one reading assistant or local library you will soon find something to centre your experience around.GN passes the day over if you can't get out for any reason and go and get back on that bus asap. xxx

Scribbles Sat 28-Oct-17 18:03:50

I presume the ads you refer to are on tv? If so, stop watching! There are plenty of entertaining/informative/aggravating programmes on radio and, yes, I have heard a very occasional funeral ad but not often enough to bother me. The great thing about radio is that you can do other things while you listen.
As for the buses; why can't you go on the bus again? You're going to let one crotchety driver put you off for ever? Would you stop driving if you encountered a bad tempered parking warden?
Put your skills and experience gained in that responsible job to good use with some charity or voluntary organisation that needs them and you absolutely won't be a non-person (and you won't have time for day time television, either).

NotTooOld Sat 28-Oct-17 18:23:10

Luckygirl, I agree that retirement should not make you a non-person but the OP mentioned that she had retired from a 'responsible job', as did I (and many others, of course) and togo from that to retirement does give one a feeling of suddenly being a 'non-person', or it did me at any rate. I am trying to overcome it though!

suzied Sat 28-Oct-17 18:34:48

I can’t believe that someone with a previous responsible job would be intimidated by one rude bus driver. Get back on the bus! Don’t watch daytime TV- there is so much else you could be doing. Lots of people love U3A, volunteering , adult ed classes, Futurelearn online university courses. There’s a whole world out there , plan a trip if that’s a possibility, is there any subject / language or skill you’d like to take up or improve? This is the perfect time to try something new! Think like a student trying to choose what you want to study - this is the perfect opportunity to try so many different things.

Jane10 Sat 28-Oct-17 19:29:30

Suzied says it all. Get yourself out there and go by bus. You'll get over this temporary downer. This time next year you won't be able to recognise yourself. Get to it girl!

Ilovecheese Sat 28-Oct-17 19:54:25

Relevant article in the Guardian today. it is on the "lifestyle" section of their website titled "It was like a bereavement: life after leaving a big jog. Maybe have a read of that to see how other people are coping.

kittylester Sat 28-Oct-17 20:18:51

I was a sahm (in my view a very responsible job! Please do something with your life. There are loads of volunteering roles about that you could do!

lemongrove Sat 28-Oct-17 20:47:31

Just grin the next time you put the bus pass down the wrong way, who cares what the bus driver thinks?
Retirement is different and does take some getting used to.
Take it slowly, consider where you may like to visit, then realise there is no rush.After being bound by the clock all our lives it’s a tremendous gift for some days, that time doesn’t matter.😃

Luckygirl Sat 28-Oct-17 21:12:21

I had a highly responsible job, but in no way felt like a non-person when I retired. I cannot see any reason at all to think like that. Why would you?

Anyone capable of a responsible job is capable of making their retirement productive and fulfilling, so GrandmaViv resist the temptation (?) of daytime TV and hold your head up with pride. This is the start of the rest of your life. It is there for you to enjoy. Look upon it as the sort of challenge you used to face at work and put your all into it.

GrandmaMoira Sat 28-Oct-17 21:29:08

I found I was treated more like a non person in my last few years at work as an older employee. Now I can go where I like and do what I like I don't have to put up with horrible bosses.
I don't watch daytime TV, there's too much else to do.
Remember, you are still an independent, intelligent person, and you now have time to learn new skills, give your time to causes you believe in or whatever else you wish to do.

morethan2 Sat 28-Oct-17 22:00:40

I’m recently retired and I had a job doing somthing I considered useful. All my life I’ve looked after other people. Listened to their problems, given them advice, supported them through some of the worse and best times of their lives. I put up with all the management could throw at me, I’ve watched colleagues despair as yet more changes(mostly not for the best) were changed and changed again and I’m so relieved to be out of it. I don’t feel like a none person. I’m still me. I still get fuddled using my bus pass but I tell the bus driver and they are always really helpful, but then I’ve probably got a face that no one would cross. Retirement is a new phase of our lives by its very nature it may mean the time shouldn’t be wasted. The one thing I’ve learnt is that you can’t go backwards, regrets solve nothing and brooding is a waste of time. For now I’m grateful to be able to enjoying not doing anything useful and not being responsible. I may feel differently in a few months time if so I’ll find something useful to do. It is like every big change in our lives we need time to come to terms with it.

Nelliemoser Sat 28-Oct-17 22:33:39

Have you tried joining U3A? Depending where you live there are likely to be lots of activities going on.

Stop watching day time television.
Gardening is my retreat. I am happiest pottering about outside but winter is coming on.
I have not been so relaxed since I retired. I joined a knitting group a U3A play reading group and two choirs .
Retirement is wonderful.

Anniepops Sat 28-Oct-17 22:43:11

Embrace this time as some folk don't have the opportunity to reach their retirement. Are you in good health with a family, friendship network? I am loving being a non person, no a very much still here and alive person. I have two younger sisters. One died aged 13 and the other 35. Both had Cf. If I ever feel low I think of them and think, yes I have been given a longer life, so live it for them.

Grannyknot Sat 28-Oct-17 23:02:27

I'd never report a bus driver for something as trivial as an eye-roll. Now there's a responsible job - driving a bus.

Eglantine21 Sat 28-Oct-17 23:31:38

Life is what you make it Viv. Personally I'm having a great retirement. Why on earth are you looking at funeral plans? Look at the travel channel! Or better still pack the rucksack and go!!!!!

Eloethan Sun 29-Oct-17 00:38:12

GrandmaViv I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling depressed after retiring - and that the rather rude behaviour of a bus driver has really upset you. I can understand that.

I'm not quite sure how to make you feel better, except to say that at least you can look back on having had an emotionally, intellectually (and presumably financially) fufilling job. I look back on the many years I spent in a fairly mundane (though reasonably well paid) job that I found both unsatisfying and stressful - a horrible combination. Yes, it perhaps makes me appreciate retirement more, but it also makes me regret all the miserable years I spent at work.

I am sure once you have had more time to adjust, you will find there are many things you can do that will fill your days and make them meaningful and enjoyable.

If you are reasonably comfortable financially, you also have the opportunity to take more holidays and short breaks and have some meals out.

I appreciate having the time now to be a member of two choirs, join various courses, help with my grandchildren, etc. etc. I was always too late home or too exhausted to be able to do these things when I was working.

Good luck and I hope you soon feel better.

petra Sun 29-Oct-17 07:28:31

I haven't been able to get back on the bus since
That was a joke, wasn't it? As for bus driver rolling his eyes, that's their raison d'etre.
Tears rolling down my face with laughing. You know when you've read something so funny that you will grinning about it all day: well your post is one of those grin