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CARE

(24 Posts)
gillybob Sun 09-Dec-18 22:59:41

Did anyone watch the TV drame “CARE” on BBC 1 this evening ? A play co written by the excellent Jimmy McGovern and starring Alison Steadman and Sheridan Smith. I can highly recommend the 90 minute drama which was very sad and thought provoking . It upset me to remember my grandma in her 90’s beginning me to “not put her in the home “ where her own sister had spent the last year of her life .

aggie Sun 09-Dec-18 23:30:04

I watched the start of this , but recorded the rest , too sad for this evening , will watch it later . The acting is too good

ginny Sun 09-Dec-18 23:32:37

Brilliant acting, especially Alison Steaan.

merlotgran Sun 09-Dec-18 23:39:37

I might watch it on iPlayer. DH wouldn't have enjoyed it and having coped for years with my mother's decline into dementia I'm not sure I want to be reminded of that time.

I'm sure the acting was good though.

M0nica Mon 10-Dec-18 00:36:50

I didn't see this, but having been involved with three relatives who were in care homes. Once in the home they were very happy. One in particular told me that if he had realised how comfortable he would be in the home, he would have moved in three years earlier immediately after his wife died. he couldn't understand why my father, also a widower, didn't do the same.

Hilltopgran Mon 10-Dec-18 01:25:08

Alison Steadman was brilliant in her role. The play is actually more about family relationships than a care home, I was not sure I wanted to watch it for a similar reason to other posters, as the advertising trailer gave the wrong impression and had put me off. It contains some annoying mistakes with some parts of the process of getting assessment and funding, but it is well worth watching.

BlueBelle Mon 10-Dec-18 06:51:01

I enjoyed, if that’s the right word, Care, I think it was very well acted and portrayed however I have to say not totally accurate on the process of fighting for help in the fees
I managed after a long fight to get continuing healthcare (which didn’t used to cover Alzheimer’s) for my Mum not too long before she died however it only covered the top up fees of a very mediocre home nothing like that luxurious one and what a lengthy process, she only had it for a few months before she died

ninathenana Mon 10-Dec-18 07:05:57

I watched it and found it quiet scarey the way it showed how a family's lives can change in an instant, whether that's due to accident or illness.
Alison Steaďman was so convincing, I think that's what got to me.
DH said if she dosen't get an award there is something wrong.

LullyDully Mon 10-Dec-18 08:04:52

Sorry I couldn't face it.

gillybob Mon 10-Dec-18 08:16:33

I agree the play was more about how each sister coped very differently with their mothers stroke . The difference between the horrible ( I assume) LA care home and the private, expensive one was shocking . Frightening thought, but I know which one I would end up in.

Grandma70s Mon 10-Dec-18 08:18:18

I was afraid I might find it too upsetting, but I’m very glad I watched it. It was so well done in all ways. All too recognisable. Although I didn’t have a stroke and was nowhere near as ill as the Alison Steadman character, I have recently been through the hospital/rehab/now what? problems myself. I did the ‘kitchen test’ to see whether I was safe making a cup of tea. (I was.)

My mother had a stroke shortly before she died, and her words became a bit muddled, though nowhere near as badly as shown in this programme. It was very upsetting for everyone. She knew it was coming out wrong, but was powerless to alter it.

Brilliant acting from everyone.

dragonfly46 Mon 10-Dec-18 08:19:05

I thought it was very good but if I doubt you could find a home as luxurious as that for £700 a week. My mum pays nearly £1000 a week and it is nothing like that. I have to add we are in Leicestershire not London.

sodapop Mon 10-Dec-18 08:24:48

I enjoyed it and thought Alison Steadman & co acted very well without over doing things.
I did think it was a fairly sanitised version though.

Luckygirl Mon 10-Dec-18 08:40:59

Very well acted - but full of inaccuracies.

Mother would not have been discharged into her daughter's home without a Carer's Assessment being done; and without some care at home.

The poor home would have been a private home - not LA - LA homes barely exist any more.

£700 would not buy you half a week in a nursing home!

Continuing care funding (where the NHS picks up the tab) is available on the basis of need, not where or how the care is being provided; so could have been available to her to pay for care at home.

I got this funding for my Dad who was being cared for at home with a 24 hour live-in carer plus a waking night carer. It was a battle, and began by the ward staff making the assessment of eligibility on the quiet and assessing him as not qualifying. I discovered this later and set about getting him re-assessed, using information from a website and from a lawyer friend. I downloaded the assessment form, went through it in detail myself and did the scoring. So when the meeting to re-assess happened I was able to go through it point by point with evidence.

But the truth is that there are millions of people who qualify for this funding who do not get it because they (or their relatives) do not know it exists; or because speedy and inaccurate assessments are done by people who have had no training in the process. If those millions of people knew and applied the NHS would fold tomorrow.

Crazy system.

FlexibleFriend Mon 10-Dec-18 09:42:29

I recorded it to watch in the week.

notanan2 Mon 10-Dec-18 09:48:15

It sounds good but I find Sheridan Smith so jarring to watch (stage acting on telly), is it still worth it?

J52 Mon 10-Dec-18 09:51:57

Brilliant, poignant and identifying flaws in the system!
Alison Steadman deserves the highest praise for her acting!

ninathenana Mon 10-Dec-18 10:05:09

notanan I think you would see a different side to Sheridan in this.

silverlining48 Mon 10-Dec-18 10:34:44

I found Care very moving with excellent acting. It was painful to watch and took me back to my poor mum who died 6 years ago after 10 years of suffering. Both hers and mine.

I found the statement about what a mother could do for her child shocking, but I sort of understood.

If this helps alert others to the problems and strain on the nhs staff who juggle with fewer staff and cut backs as well as the existence of continuing care that has to do everyone a service. It’s difficult to get, many hoops to jump through, but do as they did, always appeal.

dragonfly46 Mon 10-Dec-18 10:47:00

Unreasonable I know but I wonder what would happen to the NHS if everyone entitled to continuing care applied. My mother is entitled but she can afford to pay for her care so I will not be applying although I believe it is not dependent on income.

It was probably a good thing to bring it to the public's notice but I expect there will now be a flood of applications.

It is the age old argument of where there is limited money available who is the more deserving.

I also hope that all those watching do not believe that homes like the one shown actually exist. In my experience there are many many good homes but none so lush as the one portrayed.

Nana3 Mon 10-Dec-18 10:55:58

Excellent post Luckygirl. I had no success at all getting funding for either of my parents who had dementia. The manner of my father's death will never leave me.
I could not bring myself to watch the drama.

trisher Mon 10-Dec-18 11:22:06

I watched it and agree about the inaccuracies. The portrayal of hard worked NHS staff I found particularly offensive.
The idea that team meetings are held only when a patient is about to be discharged is completely wrong they meet when the patient has been assessed explain treatment ask questions and set gaols, and they are usually held in tiny rooms, corners of wards, or the day room, as staff take time from attending other patients to attend them. I went to a few this year with my mother.
That any nurse would sit by while a patient with a drip screamed and became distressed is doubtful as well. They are liable to pull out the drip and cause harm.
A team is sent out to measure and assess the patient's home for suitability for adaptation.
As for a care home costing £700 a week. Even the most basic is more than this. The 'ideal' home presented would have been over £1000 and the front door would still have been locked (as it was in all the homes I visited)
Finally the crisis in care is not in funding (which all the staff do their best to help with) but with staffing and places. There simply aren't enough carers to enable people who could go home to do so, and there aren't enough care homes offering medical support ,so people are stuck in hospital beds waiting for care packages, as social workers struggle to find help for them.

trisher Mon 10-Dec-18 14:24:55

Fogot as well. The perfect care home depicted at the end would probably have a waiting list, the best ones I looked at for my mum did.
Nor would there be, as was depicted, a 'happy ever after"ending. If she continued to be difficult and agressive, causing upset to other residents she might be asked to leave.

goldengirl Mon 10-Dec-18 15:17:06

It was painful to watch. I had to fight to get my mother - and later my father -decent care. The only reason I got it was that I was 200 miles away and there was no other family. I had to cope on my own with all the rigmarole which meant I had to do lots of reading and research on the subject. This led to one social worker admitting I was quite knowledgeable on the subject; it wasn't my choice, I just had to be. The doctor at one point said I was was stressing out his receptionist because of my insistence on getting mum's tablets checked. Glad I did because it turned out he was giving her tablets without taking note of the contraindications and effects on the ones she was already taking. I wish I'd pursued that - but I didn't have the energy - but he did take note. As you can tell, watching that play has brought it all back. It was just brilliantly acted. In spite of recognition of the Baby Boom the UK is just not geared up to deal with us now we're getting old.