Finding tonight's play 'The Sixth Commandment' a difficult watch

Have the last two episodes been on and we've missed them somehow?

After leaving this series half way through the first episode because I knew the details having watched the documentary a while back, I went back to it in daylight and watched it to the end. Brilliantly acted and absolutely chilling as others have said but at the same time riveting. There was even more evil detail not shown in the series but the police were thankfully determined. How the jury coped I do not know. I needed a cuddle at the end and felt wrung out but glad I stuck it out.

One of the most disturbing things for me happens when truly evil Ben visits an elderly lady in a care home and films the conversation. He basically torments her by reiterating she has no family, no friends and is all alone in the world and that’s her fault. It’s shown in the series but in the documentary the detectives are seen watching this interaction and one has his head down and appears to be wiping tears away. I found that really chilling - pure evil.

The documentary PinkCosmos mentions is also on All4 (the ch4 catch-up channel) for those who don’t have Sky.

The documentary still available is on Sky.

It's called Catching a Killer : A Diary from the Grave. You can find if you use the search feature.

Haven't had time to read the whole thread so sorry if this has already been mentioned.

We watched the last two episodes last night and both of us were riveted and felt so shocked by the sheer evil that we actually turned to Netflix and watched some Young Sheldon to try to get over it. However, I absolutely agree about the warning it sent to so many people who are alone and vulnerable. This story will stay with me and will never be forgotten.

I cried at the end , truly saddened for Peter and Anne . I've met people in the past who used and manipulated decent vulnerable folk . They are attracted to places like churches , community places , anywhere where people gather to meet. A heartbreaking story

churches often are very lax on being proactive on this kind of thing.
in this case there were different churches involved.
Peter had been a member of the church of england, whereas Ann was a roman catholic.
the perp was the son of a baptist minister, so had all the lingo and knew how to ingratiate himself with devout older people.
he was also an ordinand for the c of e, and a psychologist in the selection process reported that he might be a psychopath.
safeguarding ?

I'm surprised that the red flags around a young member of the church with a responsible role befriended 2 vulnerable people and moved in with them. That should have raised some safeguarding issues eventually surely.
I read a statement this morning that the Diocese of Oxford put out after the sentencing about this case and the fact that there were not enough red flags raised around Ben Field and his associations with Stowe Parish Church and it’s elderly parishioners as they had effectively no effective safeguarding policy. They instituted a “Lessons Learned” review. So many people take in by him.

Callistemon that happens, but not only that happens, exploitation is done by relations just as much, if not more, than by people outside the family. www.lawsociety.org.uk/topics/blogs/close-to-home-spotting-elder-abuse betterhealthwhileaging.net/financial-abuse-what-to-know/

I met it several times when I worked for a charity for the elderly. It might be trivial, a grandchild charging his grandmother £100, for a 30 mile round trip in his car to visit her sister. Other cases where people were clearly giving large sums of money or buying expensive items for one relative who was meant to be doing a lot to help them, or seeming to pay well over the odds for shopping or work done to the house.

Sadly a lot of people get away with robbing people and the Police want nothing to do with it. They say it is a civil matter.

Happened in our family a couple of years ago and by coincidence just this morning I bumped into my Mum’s old neighbour’s daughter. Same thing happened to her, a family member relieved her Mum of many thousands, valuable jewellery etc. while she was alive but having dementia. Her daughter involved the Police too and they said there was no proof that he took the money and items but he was the only other person who ever entered the house.

It’s not just lonely adults who can be exploited.
Vulnerable adults with learning difficulties can be taken in.
I know of one such case where it was his supported living caregiver. Fortunately that got to court.

M0nica

^The programme also showed how important it is for relatives to try and protect their vulnerable and lonely loved ones.^

Usually people are vulnerable and lonely because their relatives take no notice of them.

Often it is the relatives doing the exploiting.

The cases I have come across were not the relatives exploiting older people.
The relatives were loving, caring and helpless in the face of brainwashing by clever manipulators.

*Bluebelle I am not sure what you are disagreeing with. All I have said is that the ways in which some older people are exploited are many and various.

The case you describe does not conflict with that.

I totally disagree this time Monica my aunt was visited every week by her brother, my dad and my mum sometimes more than weekly they were very good friends As my aunt got older she had a carer for her and my uncle. My uncle died and my aunt kept the carer on and became good friends with her
My aunt had an accident and was hospitalised when my dad was visiting his sister he was unhappy with some part of her care and asked to speak to the ward sister. He was refused as he wasn’t ‘next of kin’ my dad was horrified, as he and my aunt were the only ones left in a fairly big family It appears ‘the carer’ had put her own name down as the next of kin My aunt didn’t come out of hospital, she died there and afterwards we found my aunt had lost everything all her money, the money my uncle had left her, and lots of belongings, she was down to a few pounds in the bank, she had had thousands.
We saw a solicitor but because my aunt was of sound mind nothing could be done to prove the woman had stolen all her money, she said my aunt looked on her as her daughter (my aunt had no children) and had given her lots of presents
(enough for the carer and family to have overseas holidays and a new car)
She got away with it I reported it to her to her agency but I don’t know what they did even if they sacked her she could get another job
How many more elderly people had she coerced and stolen from ?

That's dreadful, M0nica and I know it happens.

Callistemon I absolutely agree with all you say, but I have also seen cases, where it is a relative that is doing both, the cutting off and the fleecing of the money.

I was a home visitor with a charity for older people for over 10 years and in that time saw about every combination of relationships of children, older people and outside relationships you can imagine. Including exploitative ones, though never sexual exploitation.

This story is horrendous and shows what can happen at extremes, But I saw, but was unable to intervene, in a case where the exploiter and abuser was a son and what was happening, stopped just short of murder.....

Agree this was harrowing to watch but everyone needs to.
I have also read what happened in real life, heartbreaking.
Thank goodness her neice was alert and told the Police of her suspicions. More importantly the Police believed her, no doubt backed up by the Hospital blood results?
Such a shame, but agree both main actors deserve awards for this.

We watched it. The acting was brilliant. Slightly off topic but Anne Reid was interviewed by Lorraine Kelly about it this week. I thought it was rather nasty of Lorraine when, having been asked by Anne not to divulge her age and saying several times that she wouldn't then said 'I won't divulge her age but for anyone who plays bingo, think two fat ladies.'

merlotgran
We have had experience of much-loved family members being targeted.

M0nica one thing that happens is coercive control and, however much loved a family member is, it is not always possible to have them to live with you and they may appear to be fiercely independent.
Then along comes the abuser and is so persuasive that the person may end up cutting off family when they express concerns. It is cunning and calculated.

M0nica

^The programme also showed how important it is for relatives to try and protect their vulnerable and lonely loved ones.^

Usually people are vulnerable and lonely because their relatives take no notice of them.

Often it is the relatives doing the exploiting.

Oh no, that is not true.

When my mother was in her early nineties and becoming quite frail I became concerned about her cleaning lady who had been with her for about two months and was behaving in a rather weird, over familiar way. At first DH thought I was imagining things but when the woman, whom I’d only met once, phoned me while she was on holiday to ask me to tell Mum she was missing her and ‘loved her to bits’ my antennae started twitching.

A few weeks later the woman had an operation and I just happened to be visiting mum (we only lived ten minutes away) when she and her husband whom I never met walked in as though they owned the place and put the kettle on. Apparently he’d just picked her up from hospital. They hadn’t even been home. I stayed until they left but didn’t make a fuss because I didn’t want Mum to be frightened and she clearly liked her cleaner.

The last straw was when DH happened to be driving by and saw a strange car in Mum’s drive. He decided to investigate and there was the husband, without his wife, drinking tea in the kitchen. Mum was clearly relieved to see DH who phoned me as soon as the man had left and together we persuaded Mum that we had to find her another cleaner just to be on the safe side.

It didn’t quite end there because they gate crashed a birthday barbecue we held for Mum, turning up with presents and chatting to guests as though they were family friends. Fortunately my brothers both agreed that I wasn’t being over protective but we had no proof that there was anything dodgy going on.

Eventually the visits ceased and Mum developed vascular dementia and went into care. I’ll never know what would have happened if I’d ignored my instincts. Maybe it was all entirely innocent but I believe you can’t be to careful where vulnerable, elderly relatives are concerned.

The programme also showed how important it is for relatives to try and protect their vulnerable and lonely loved ones.

Usually people are vulnerable and lonely because their relatives take no notice of them.

Often it is the relatives doing the exploiting.

I agree HousePlantQueen terrible thing to do to such a good man. Ben knew exactly how to play on his weaknesses.

I’ve watched it all. It was upsetting to see but the cast did an amazing job. Surely Timothy Spall must get an award for his superb performance. We’ve watched most things he’s done since he was Barry in Auf Wiedersehen Pet.