Radio 4 shock

I find all the embarrassment people suffer from over ordinary everyday bodily functions quite bizarre.

Even if I was watching adverts for vaginal dryness or erectile dysfunction with my 13 year old grandson, I would not feel remotely embarrassed and i would be quite willing to tell him what they were and discuss were he to ask.

In fact when DD was 16 she came home from college one day to tell me that I was an 'useless mother' Why? well she and a group of friends had been telling tales of all the silly embarrassments, misexplanations and avoidance actions their parents took about anything to do with sex. I was 'useless' because, as DD said, if she wanted to know anything about sex, she just asked me and I told her so she could not contribute any sill anecdotes to the conversation.

I think there should be some sort of warning about content before programmes are aired. On TV we are warned of "offensive language, sexual content etc" then it is up to us whether we continue watching. I agree totally with the OP in that I would not want to listen to any of this with my GS being present (or even if he wasn't!). I honestly think these days a lot of programmes are designed to shock or disgust.

It was not a discussion programme. It was a short fictional story about the exhausted parents of two very young children.

How many people commenting here have actually taken the time to listen to the 27 minute short story? There was nothing shocking or prurient about it.

There were many other issues raised in the story that would have been interesting to discuss, as I said: social media abuse, climate change, over-consumption of meat, over-population - all important issues that concern society and the future of the planet.

Or even parenting in general and how all-consuming and exhausting it can be for new parents to find time for themselves and one another - an experience which most parents will remember and many grandparents helping to care for grandchildren now will be all too familar with. Does anyone remember the Flour Baby project based on Anne Fine's book?

Why just sit with "embarrassment hanging in the air" and rail at the BBC because of the briefest mention of sex? He will have heard it all anyway in RHSE.

The series continues all this week with different writers and different adult themes.

spcki4eyes, I am with you on this , my GS is 17 and I too would have felt awkward ! Would have played it cool but turned it off for his sake and mine - he too would feel embarrassed listening to that with his cosy GM !!! I certainly would not have seen it as my job to discuss it with him . That is not on my list of priorities as a GM - been there done that with my own children!!!

I stick to Boom Radio when my granddaughter is here (aged 8) then we can discuss our favourite songs. I ask 'who's this?' and she often knows who they are. I like teaching them about the history of popular music while they're young, so they have something to compare with the doleful music of today when they start listening to that. At least they will know how great yesterday's music was.

I would never put a discussion programme on for the reason you mention, who knows what will be discussed and the youngers will most likely have no interest anyway. Save your Radio 4 for when you're alone, and if you have a complaint then write to the BBC which I have done a few times.

I would have been very embarrassed too.

I was sitting watching tv with my adult son (48) and the advert about ‘vaginal dryness’ came on and then another about ‘erectile dis function’. We had a giggle , but for goodness sake.

I must say, i would have turned the radio off bcause I find stories like this boring - whether either of my teenage grandchildren were with me or not.

Since I have always been absolutely open and willing to discuss anything sexual or otherwise with my children, and, with their parent's consent, grandchildren, the ccontent wouldn't have bothered me.

I switch a lot of programmes off Rafio 4 now. Although I think the majority of programmes are good. Womans Hour is one I switch off the most, the announcers seem to be man haters, completely biased. I think the way they project their preferences most unprofessional. I would have switched the programme off way before the nitty gritty took place but does any 15 year old boy listen to Radio 4 ? Mine would have had ear plugs in, it just wouldn't have appealed to me anyway.

How big is your room if it took the amount of time to describe all those subjects to reach the off switch.
If you listened on Alexa it would have taken 3 seconds.

I do remember listening to a radio play years ago while my young children were in the room which suddenly became very violently sexually explicit. I turned it off rapidly. It does seem that there is no such thing as the "watershed" for radio

I can’t think that he heard much of it , if you were near enough to listen to it you could probably turn it off quickly?
I don’t have R4 on unless I am doing something that means I can listen, it’s music or silence if GS is around.
My daughter rather forcefully told me to stop making her watch programmes about AIDS, she was 15 at the time and assured me that it would never happen to her! It didn’t.
Then there was the time I sat between my mum (quite prudish) and my daughter when we had a family outing to the Chippendales, didn’t know where to look.🫣
Hope you both recover.

Specki4eyes I'm completely with you. Modern times! Even some ads on TV would be embarrassing.

Yes that was it. Of course I realise that my grandson will be familiar with all the references.
I do not need snippy advice about what subjects I should feel comfortable about sharing with my grandchildren, thank you.
I was merely shocked that this was aired AT ALL in the middle of the afternoon. Least of all not by the BBC. What I heard was neither entertaining nor informative, merely unpleasant, uninteresting and, I repeat, not something I want to share with a 15 year old boy.

That sounds like a good programme. Must listen.

Your grandson will be metaphorically dining out on that story for years to come. I bet he's grinning from ear to ear telling everyone about your flustered embarrassment!

Don't make things awkward with your grandson, I always laugh with my teenagers when this stuff comes on TV or whatever.

I don't want them to have any hangups or embarrassment about sex, pregnancy or any of that stuff.. I want them to be confident, educated and able to seek support for issues.

I' ve just read that back and ... Obviously, men's bodies are not changed by pregnancy. I should have written parenthood.

What depths?

I assume OP was listening to the BBC National Short Story Award story Comorbidities by Naomi Wood.

The opening sentence was:

For a while Joe had wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. which might have been a warning about what was to come but what did come was very tame.

Joe is an ethnic-Chinese mental health nurse who counsels young people who have suffered social media abuse.

The story is about a young couple exhausted by having two young children, worrying about climate change and their children’s future. There’s a discussion of social media abuse, over-consumption of meat, cultural differences, over-population, racism, the emptiness of dating apps.

They give the children to his parents to look after so they can have some time alone together but are so exhausted that they sleep for most of it before sex. That part of the story takes up about a minute out of 27 minutes. They do video what they do to “spice things up” but later delete it for fear of it being hacked and ending up online especially in view of the work Joe does. There’s a mention of a BJ, not even the words, just BJ and the words dick and nipple but more about what happens to nursing breasts than anything else and how women's bodies are changed by pregnancy but not men's.

Then the couple go to his parents, the six of them go out for Chinese food and then to the park. It’s a story about family life.

A 15 year old boy knows what a BJ is, knows what dicks and nipples are because he has both. He will know that people video themselves having sex and how damaging it can be when these videos are used to exploit others.

Overreaction from OP who could have listened calmly to the story and maybe discussed some of the issues with her grandson instead of of this rant.

Was it this?

www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001qdqm?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

Shocking!

What was the programme called?

At 15 I am sure he has heard of oral sex and would have no interest in the other subjects. To be fair the programme is aimed at adults, I assume you were listening to it.

This is exactly why I stopped listening to Woman's Hour years ago when I was at home with small children.

Hmm how far away was the radio ? I think I could have killed it before they got into all that “ lengthy discussion “