Thank you all for your kindness.
I was probably feeling a bit oversensitive today and part of the problem is I never look ill and am very good at covering up. People keep telling me how well I look. I'm sure they think I am a fraud! 😁
It's amazing what a bit of make up can do. 
Slightly off piste, while I was with my friends today, I was waiting for a call from the surgery, because I had once again been selected for Jury Service, despite being previously exempted on medical grounds. On top of that I knew that I had both a COPD and RA flare up.
Much to my surprise I received a call from my own GP, from whom I had never heard since the beginning of the pandemic. I got the feeling he had suffered some kind of breakdown during it, because he disappeared for a while.
He was amazing and went out of his way to support me in a number of ways.
He is writing a strong letter to the court to say I will never be well enough to do jury duty and is organising a hospital referal for my chest, as well as prescribing stronger antibiotics.
So life is looking up.
He was shocked at how I was not my usual resilient self, but this talk of letting people die has just reminded me of what an awful time it was. I had blocked it out.
I will reiterate, any clinicians I did encounter were going above and beyond what anyone should be asked to do. I wouldn't be here now (although not as well as I could have been) if it weren't for them. I have nothing for admiration for them.