Baby Reindeer - anyone watched it?

nandad

Big discussion at work (with opinions from a range of ages). We could all understand how Donny kept on going back to his abuser/s but to have been raped and then re-enacted that rape for a TV camera, not one of the 7 of us found this plausible. We also agreed that had this been a female writer/ actor there would have been less sympathy and fewer plaudits with her credibility being questioned.
Gadd has asked that people stop trying to identify the people he wrote about but why did he bring it to a wider audience if that wasn’t his intention? Catharsis maybe, but isn’t this series way over the top? Not sure that I believe this is totally true.

I beg to differ about how it would have been seen differently if it was been a female writer. Michaela Coel's I May Destroy You is similar in some respects and was very criticially acclaimed.

Iam64 no. Have watched 3 episodes.
I'm OK with gritty and troubling but not engaged enough to watch any more.

He apparently took the stage version to the Fringe. I'd rather have seen it as a play.

Now I know it's "based on fact" it feels gratuitous to be honest. Two needy and damaged people...
Was going to watch another couple of episodes last night but neither of us wanted to.

I understand people deciding not to watch - it feels grubby in some ways. I was drawn in to the story though and after the horrors of episode 4 hoped things might get better with Gadd getting a grip - didn’t happen

Urmstongran

I agree, he’s quite honest in describing his own shortcomings in all of this.

Is it maybe easier to be honest when you become a millionaire out of it I wonder?

...and I wonder about the effect on his parents and wider family.

I share the concern about the impact on his parents. His portrayal of them included saying his father was sexually abused as a child, within the Catholic Church.
Gadd is clearly psychologically vulnerable. Hes making a lot of money out of this tv production. How much damage to himself and other key protagonists

I would hope his Father gave permission.

Who knows? I read earlier that Gadd has ‘banned’ his parents from watching it

The whole thing is a mess I feel Iam.
Why are we watching this?

I switched off and wondered as to what we are being given by way of entertainment.

I used to love a good drama, back in the day.

NotSpaghetti

The whole thing is a mess I feel Iam.
Why are we watching this?

Tbh this is how I feel now 😭

I have just seen the ‘real’ Martha being interviewed by Piers Morgan, and, to be quite truthful, I found that much more uncomfortable. I was under the impression that the writer had tried to make her identity difficult to find out, but she does resemble the actress who played her.
Apparently she is going to sue, as she says it is fabrication, and ‘deflammatory’. I was also interested to hear her say she went to a high school which is very near us.

Daddima, she does look like the actor who played her. The actor who played the male sex abuser looks exactly like the comedy writer named on line as the perpetrator.
Richard Gadd denies this, insists he disguised their identity. That doesn’t wash

Fiona( Martha) has obvious mental health problems, people appear to be exploiting this, its uncomfortable!

People like Gadd, his agent getting Netflix and the lovely Piers Morgan. I read she was paid £250 for Morgan’s interview. That exploitative in every way

I thought it was vaguely useful though. She was I am afraid lying. So that's useful information. Stalking isnt entertainment. But PM didnt introduce into the public arena.

I have concerns about the ethics of this. Clearly Gadd has all sorts of MH problems, and he doesn't deny his culpability in what happened (although he wasn't wholly 'to blame'), but it seemed to me that there was a strange sort of co-dependency going on and the others weren't entirely to blame either (rapist notwithstanding). Some of the things portrayed are not true - his relationship with Terri was after Martha, and Martha/Fiona doesn't have a criminal record.

The PM interview was uncomfortable, but I don't think he was unfair to her - she seemed to me to be a fantasist, and not as clever as she thinks she is, but I think her claims that she was bullied are spurious. Gadd comes over as attention-seeking and I suspect that he's deliberately made her identifiable to get more attention. It might backfire on him though, although I guess that Netflix's lawyers will have been all over it to protect them from prosecution.

I don't really know what the point of it all was, although it was compelling viewing.

I’ve managed to watch up to episode 3 . No more. It makes me sick, don’t like it at all.

I don’t really know what the point of it all was, although it was compelling viewing

It’s often said that comedians are sad unhappy people. Gadd is complex and far from a stable personality. The male alleged abuser has kept a low profile. Martha not so.

Yes, you're right - I meant that I don't know what he wanted to gain. Why cast 'Martha' as a dead ringer for Fiona, and why say it was all true when a lot of it wasn't? The fact that he didn't make it so easy to identify the rapist suggests that either he still hopes for some sort of 'relationship', that it didn't really happen or that he (and/or Netflix) know that he would sue. I suspect that the rape did happen, as there will be many people who'll know who the identity of the manager/publicist/whatever he was.

Doodledog, the actor who played the alleged rapist looks like the twin of the man identified on line as the abuser. I read he’s stepped away from something he’s working on currently
I watched compulsively despite feeling voyeuristic

Oh, I watched compulsively, too .

I've heard that the actor and the 'suspect' look alike, too. I can well understand why he hasn't come forward. I wonder if the police will get involved? I also watched the PM interview, and found that fascinating. She is clearly disturbed too, but I don't know if that means she shouldn't be charged, as it's likely that she did a lot of damage.

I think at the bottom of my unease is that it seems unequal. Gadd has got the attention he craved, and has made money, (but Netflix a lot more) whereas Fiona was left to the likes of Piers Morgan to tell her story. If the rape happened then the perpetrator should be arrested, and if it didn't the suspect's life will also be ruined.

nanna8

I’ve managed to watch up to episode 3 . No more. It makes me sick, don’t like it at all.

If it’s making you feel sick now don’t watch episode 4.

I won’t, Jane. Started to watch Bodkin instead.

Have given up on this after episode 3 or 4! I don't mind the occasional F word but when it becomes the main part of the dialogue I,ve had enough!!😖

I finally watched all 7 episodes having struggled after Episode 4. A lot of relevant comments have been posted.The " links / community "between abused people is a fair enough hypothesis but not all people that are stalked are themselves abused so sort-of-inviting it. Wasn't Emily Maitlis horribly stalked for many years and her stalker given significant jail time? I don't know Maitlis at all obvs. but I'd take a punt on her not being a damaged individual.
Lots of stalkees aren't victims , it seems to me , until their crazed ex-partners start on them with what is specialised bullying- stalking.
As well Gadd was 27 , I think, when all this took place and although I'd support a diagnosis of "grooming" for a child or young person I struggle to describe this adult male relationship with the producer as "grooming" since, it seems to me that Gadd was using the Producer to help him explore his own(Gadd's) confused sexuality and hoping that the Producer would advance his(Gadd's) career. Gadd went back many times after he realised the drugs were facilitating sexual activity. Gadd didn't live with the man and didn't have to have any connection with him whatsoever if he didn't literally get a bus and travel to Producer's flat and spend time with him. I wouldn't like to be the prosecution barrister trying to get a rape conviction in this case either.
Grooming as a fully fledged competent adult ??
Don't go back for more, mate.
Producer was an obviously obnoxious individual and a liar but there"s a lot of that about and a lot of older men try to have sex with younger women or men if they can get it.
We all have to watch our backs !!!
I do understand all the modern interpretations and complications of "consent" but I struggle a bit with this sort of stuff.
An unpopular opinion , I imagine , but my opinion nevertheless.