Penelope Lively webchat 7 August

annodomini

My copy has arrived but I will be away on the day of the web chat. I am going to put it in my suitcase to read on holiday. I love all her books. Sorry I will miss the web chat.

annodomini

Tegan, are you perhaps thinking of 'How It All Began'? That was a great favourite of mine as it dealt with a aspect of ageing which concerns me. I can't help imagining what would happen if I had a damaging fall. Did you write this from personal experience, Penelope, or were you thinking through what might happen?

Yes it must be how it all began, and yes to some extent this did come from personal experience. I had a fall in the street - no great damage done - but it sparked off the idea that had been in my mind for a long time of a novel that would address the extraordinary way in which our lives are directed by accidents as much as by decision.

seclusion

Thank you for Penelope Livlely's book. I have enjoyed it and as I am
an old grandmother - in my eighties - many of her experiences have been
mine. She writes so well about how it feels to be old. My greatest
pleasure is reading and one of the few blessings of being old, if you
live alone and have no responsibilities, is being able to read as much as you
like - all night if you want to. As she is a writer she puts into words many
of my thoughts and feelings. I have found that as I have grown older
I have become much more appreciative. I am so grateful for kindnesses
from family and strangers. I have hearing loss and even though I have
hearing aids I find it difficult to understand speech and so conversation
and telephone calls are fraught. Thank goodness for subtitiles.
I am sure I have read some of Penelope's books as her name is so familiar
and I will take pleasure in reading or rereading them. I look forward to
August 7th and will come on to Granset although I am not sure what a
webchat is but will find out.

I'm interested that you find you have shared my experiences and especially the importance of reading to you. For me, reading is absolutely essential. If I haven't had an hour or so every day reading, it hasn't been a proper day. Yes, I think in old age we become very sensitive to the way other people behave towards us and we appreciate those who have some perception of the various nuisances of old age. Our generation is lucky in that wonderfully effective hearing aids are now available!

Terrafirma1

Have just started Ammonites and Leaping Fish - for which Thank you! I am bowled over already by so much good sense in such a short space- and I am onl y on P 34! The phrase " the dimishment of age particularly resonates as DH has mobility issues which inevitably impact our leisure activities as a couple. How reassuring then to read"perhaps there is some benign mechanism that aligns diminished capacity with diminished desire" and I no longer need to feel guilty becsuse I am not trekking in the Himalayas or climbing Macchu Pichu , nor do I want to. Back to the book! I know what I am doing for the rest of today

Yes, I do think that there is some benign mechanism that means in old age you are simply just not so greedy for experience. My own loss of greed is an absolute refusal to travel anymore. I simply don't want to, and also I find I'm no longer so acquisitive! I don't want any more things. I only get acquisitive when I am in a garden centre and then lust springs again!

shalamar

I love the idea of "a view from old age" and have ordered the book. I would like to ask Penelope how she is finding the view and how much it differs from a view from middle age?

The old age view is, I think, perhaps wiser and inevitably more complete. In middle age, there is still quite a way to go, so there is expectation. In old age you still have expectations but they are more like tomorrow, or next month.

Crucially, I think the view from old age enables you to look back, not just at your own life, but at its context, at the times in which you have lived and the ways in which society has changed, and your own attitudes have changed with it.

milliener

Dear Penelope, I find the media's view of getting older so very negative and would love to know the things you have found to be positives in writing your book.

A sense of 'seize the day' and enjoying each day as it comes; enhanced appreciation of the physical world, and equally, enjoyment of family and friends.

rosesarered

I am enjoying reading Ammonites And Leaping Fish enormously.Penelope says the very thing that My Grandma once said rather sadly, passing a mirror and hardly recognising the 'self' that it showed, but that 'it was still her underneath' for Penelope says 'this old age self is just a top dressing, it seems;early selves are still mutinously present, getting a word in now and then.'How right she is! I also like the fact [that she mentions] in that being older, we can choose NOT to do the things we would rather not do any more, be it foreign travel or attend a boring party.There are compensations in being old after all. My children all used to like Ms. Lively's books, and as we were living near Oxford , there was a connection as I think [not totally sure] that she lived there for a while.I hope I will look as good when I reach her age, as well as having her sharp mind [or even half of her sharp mind!]

Dear me, I don't feel I deserve all this! Yes, I did indeed live near Oxford.

SwishySwoshy

Hi Penelope - what sort of gran are you?!

I have six grandchildren and you'd have to ask them! But eldest granddaughter, who is 25, drove me for 4 hours yesterday and we never stopped talking.

Roarr

Hello! I'm still reading the book - love it so far. I'd like to ask, do you think ageing is easier for men than women?

I think it's different. I think that sometimes women may be better at facing down old age.

Nelly

In my opinion getting older has changed very much over the last generation or two. 60 used to be old. Now it is positively young (or is that just because I'm there now and in denial?) I would love to hear her thoughts on how "old" has changed

40 years ago you didn't hear of people having 80th and 90th birthday parties. Either they weren't there anymore, or they weren't feeling like a jolly. Most people over 80 have one or two of the age-related diseases, but there have been big advances in the treatment of some, though there needs to be more yet.

somewherehot

out of all the many wonderful books you have written do you have a favourite

I'm very fond of a children's book written long ago, called The Ghost of Thomas Kempe.

Stansgran

I'm half way through and agreed with every word. I've still got some years to catch up with PL but I also agree about making the choice of not travelling. If I never see the Gare du Nord again it won't be a day too soon.(I have just left it and reading as I travel) I love the cover. How much input do you have in choosing the design? Do the publishers just say we think this will sell or do you say I would like such and such on the cover?

My editor always shows me the proposed design for the book and we then discuss it. I absolutely love the Ammonites cover, I think it's the best ever for one of my books.

ajanela

In 1968 I was working as a nurse in Fords Motor plant in Dagenham. At the time the 187 women machinist went on strike in protest about their low wages compared to the men and with the help of Barbara Castle they influenced the bring about of the Equal Pay act in 1970.

What important changes do you see in Women's lives in your life time and has everything been for the best?

I suppose one crucial thing has been the Pill, but also changes in attitudes and assumptions.

Gagagran

Postman has just been and brought a copy for me too - thank you GN. I will have a read and then contribute to the web chat.

Gagagran

I love this book. It puts into words, better than I ever could, what it feels like to be old and how "old" is defined at different ages,

I'd like to ask what Penelope thinks of the assisted dying debate. Is it something she would use herself?

I am definitely in favour of assisted dying and I have signed a Living Will which means, effectively, that my children know that I want the plug pulled if I have reached a point when my life is really no longer tolerable.

stitchinggran

Hello Penelope and thanks for coming to chat to us. What age have you yourself most enjoyed to date?

I enjoyed my 50s. The vanities and anxieties of youth done with and the hindrances of old age not yet there.

gardenoma

I never scribble in my books but there is always a first time!
Got my pencil out in the first chapter, there were so many lines which struck so many chords, so now i put my pencil away as i could barely see PL's text anymore.
It is good to see such a non moaning, very realistic and thoughtful view of getting older.
It is also the first time i have read anything on ageing which hasnt left me feeling in any way despondent. Thank you

So glad you're enjoying it!

CuriousCat

We are an ageing population no question- I think it's something like one in four (may be wrong!) baby girls born today will live to 100. But do you think the wider world (or the wider population of the UK at least) accepts that or are they burying their heads in the sand and ignoring us "invisible women"?

I think that most people don't realise that there is this new demographic.

Pulp

One thing that irritates me about getting older is that people seem to stereotype you instantly - they think - oh grey haired woman and patronise you or talk loudly to you and it makes me very cross. Have you found this - and have you been able to rise above it if so (in which case you are certainly a better woman than me!) Thank you for so many happy hours of reading over the years

I do get tired of usually finding myself the oldest person in the room. I think you just have to get used to that! But, I haven't actually met a great deal of ageism.

Brummiegran

The Road To Lichfield was your first book for adults. I read it only a few years ago and found it an inspiringly realistic view of middle age. Do you find it easier to write non fiction/memoirs nowadays? If so why?

I have enjoyed writing this memoir - easier than fiction in some ways because there is no elusive plot to pursue.

MiceElf

So many questions, but the first one I'd like to ask was what made you change from children's fiction to adult fiction? I remember reading, Astercote, The Ghost of Thomas Kempe and the others to my children and being entranced. We were all sad that more books for children didn't appear.

Sadly, children's books left me, rather than me leaving them. I just couldn't do it anymore.

emmasnan

I enjoyed your book, it made me realise that there are benefits to being older!
I especially liked the chapter where you had chosen a few items to mark stages in your life. Did you find it difficult to narrow it down to those few?

I had to wander round the house quite a bit, eyeing this and that before those six seemed to choose themselves.

joannapiano

How heartening to read an upbeat book about ageing.
The phrase on the first page-"We go, but hang in for a while in other people's heads-" made me smile as I have always felt it would be very nice (sorry to use that word folks!) if I lingered a bit in my 8 GC's
thoughts occasionally, after I pop my clogs. A comforting thought.
"How will life unroll for my grandchildren?",-a question all of us are curious/anxious about. On that note-does the author think it likely that any of her grandchildren will follow her footsteps and become a writer?
Perhaps Izzie with her vintage typewriter?

I have one granddaughter who is a professional harpist, another who works for a leading cancer charity for children (that's Izzy - not impossible that she might write one day). There are four others, so goodness knows if a writer will emerge!

Maniac

Dear Penelope
I'm enjoying your book so much.Just 2 years older than you I can remember many of the happenings you mention.and appreciate your thoughts on ageing. I've long been a fan of your books which I shall reread and read those I've missed.
Like gardenoma I shall break my rule about scribbling in books and underline some of your thoughts about life and ageing

Growing up in poverty in a home with few books I still developed a thirst for reading.passed the 'scholarship'exam did well at school passed the School Certificate you mention (now O levels) and went on to a science degree at London Uni
Last year I paid my first visit to Cheltenham book festival.Sorry I missed your event there.
I've had a full and varied life but not done much writing! My children urge me to write my life story.I've recently started a simple blog for friends and family.have you any tips?

So interested to hear about your pursuit of reading. Your children are quite right to urge you to write your life story. Please do it! My tip would be to start by just jotting down all sorts of different memories, not necessarily in chronological order.

MiceElf

One of the sentences that resonated most with me was where you lamented that you will not know what comes after your death. What will happen to grandchildren, how will they flourish or not. I feel sadness that I shall not know, and I do wonder how memories of me will remain with them when they reach old age. Your grandchildren are older than mine; have you asked them how they see you - what they remember from earlier in their childhoods about the things you did together and the conversations which you had?

I wouldn't dare ask my grandchildren how they see me, but we do sometimes talk about moments in the past, and often they remember things I've forgotten and the other way around.

seclusion

Thankyou so much for writing the book - it is great to dip into.
You have had a wonderful life and met so many interesting people
and it was enjoyable to read about your experiences. I remember
the events but only from the outside. Has it helped you to understand
politics and people more?.

In writing the book I was trying to look at the important public events of my lifetime, like the Suez Crisis, the Cold War, social change and see how they now look from a historical perspective - how historians have written about them. The difference between what it felt like at the time, and how it now seems with the wisdoms of historical comment.