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Sex and relationships webchat with Trudy Hannington

(163 Posts)
LucyGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 30-Oct-14 15:50:10

Trudy Hannington is a Psychosexual Therapist and is the Chair of The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT). Highly qualified in this field, Trudy has NHS contracts with Doncaster and Bassetlaw PCTs and also sees patients on a private basis.

Trudy will be joining Gransnet for the first time for a 'late night' webchat answering questions on all aspects of sex and relationships.

It may be that you have questions on your relationship as you both get older and it evolves. Perhaps you have worries about sexual difficulties experienced by yourself or your partner, or maybe you would like to ask about the changes that menopause brings about and how to address those in the context of a healthy sex life.

There may even be questions you have about dating again following divorce or the loss of your partner.

Whether your question relates to your own body or desires or your partner's, or if you're concerned about the way society's attitudes to sex may be changing, Trudy is highly experienced in this field.

And, for the first time in Gransnet's history we will be inviting you (should you wish) to request a new username so that you can be confident in complete anonymity in this sensitive area. To request a change in username just email us at [email protected].

Please post your questions here and make a date in your diary for this important topic for 12 November at 6pm.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 31-Oct-14 23:00:24

Well, perhaps one day next week, I'll let him have a go, and see how we get on. Then if any questions arise, I might start the ball rolling.

I can't do it from memory.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 31-Oct-14 23:02:39

When I say "do it" I mean, think of a question. Not........! (I can remember how that goes. I think.) confused

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 31-Oct-14 23:03:21

See! I'm regretting this already.

We'll leave it to the lurkers.

smile

gillybob Fri 31-Oct-14 23:07:30

Well I've got a question. Note no change of name!

What if?

You are 52. Knackered. Working in a thankless job for virtually no wages. Running around after 3 grandchildren, 2 adult children, 1 demanding DiL, 1 single sister, 1 very ill (disabled mum), 1 very depressed dad and 1 EXTREMELY demanding 98 year old grandma?

How on earth can I find time to be, or feel sexy? Note no mention of husband. Bless him. He doesn't get a look in.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 31-Oct-14 23:09:04

I've got a question too!

What age should you have a defibrillator standing by in the bedroom?

Ana Fri 31-Oct-14 23:10:39

But they might not be lurkers, really...

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 31-Oct-14 23:11:05

Perhaps Trudy could let me know by next Wednesday please. smile

Ana Fri 31-Oct-14 23:13:09

Perhaps forget the defibrillator and opt for a vibrator instead? confused

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 31-Oct-14 23:23:51

No! #lifeintheoldboyyet

hmm

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 31-Oct-14 23:25:40

If anyone comes on this thread with the forum name notjingl, that is not me. Ok?

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 01-Nov-14 09:30:45

Oh look! It is about "relationships" as well! Why do we only seem to have noticed the "sex" part? shock

Ana Sat 01-Nov-14 10:06:20

Oh yes! We can all have a good old moan about our DHs (again) and get some Expert Advice...grin

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 01-Nov-14 11:08:48

Yep! Make a change from dishing the advice out on here. thlgrin

Roll up folks! A real life agony Aunt!

petallus Sat 01-Nov-14 12:14:13

I've never managed to compete with Match of the Day.

Should I take to wearing a football strip to bed?

janerowena Sat 01-Nov-14 13:11:56

I know the feeling. I always knew that even if I stripped off and knelt down naked in front of the tv, I would just get a 'Why are you doing that? You will get cold!'.

rubysong Sat 01-Nov-14 13:34:19

I would get a much less polite comment Janerowena if a goal was scored while I was in front of the TV, dressed or undressed.

hildajenniJ Sat 01-Nov-14 13:42:18

My sentiments entirely Galen

BTW 6pm is a late night for me. I go to bed at 7.30 when I am working.

Coolgran65 Sun 02-Nov-14 01:26:42

Very funny about the defibrillators and vibrators.
Reminded me of a conversation when 6 of us lady friends of many years standing we're having a catch up night out.
We agreed -tongue in cheek - that should one of us pop our clogs, one of the others should check the bedside drawers and remove anything that we'd prefer our DC weren't aware of, in particular if it involves batteries.

Granny23 Sun 02-Nov-14 11:14:01

Is no-body going to ask any questions? Is everyone too shy? Or perhaps no one has a problem? Perhaps I could set the balls rolling with a few sample questions, purely in the pubic interest, of course - I am admitting to nothing.

A. What to do if HE is still very keen and SHE has lost all interest?

B. What to do if SHE is still very keen and HE has lost all interest?

C. Is Viagra ever the answer?

D. Does a permanent catheter or vaginal atrophy mean - THIS IS THE END?

E. Can you explain why some couples who have been together 30/40/50 years cannot discuss matters sexual with each other?

F. What to do if the mind is willing but the flesh is weak?

G. If you lose your partner in later life do you just have to come to terms with celibacy?

Just trying to be practical here - hope no-one is offended smile

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 02-Nov-14 11:32:37

Nothing offensive there Granny23. All perfectly good questions. #respect

and I will keep my mouth shut about 'setting the balls rolling'

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 02-Nov-14 11:33:08

Sorry

kittylester Sun 02-Nov-14 13:55:56

I can answer D - no! blush An open mind and a sense of humour help!

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 02-Nov-14 14:38:22

O M G ! Have you got both Kitty? flowers

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 02-Nov-14 14:39:54

shock scrub that! sorry.

#noseycow

TriciaF Sun 02-Nov-14 14:46:37

It's good that there is someone who can offer advice.
When my father in law got married again in his 60s, he and his new wife had sexual problems and she turned to me for help - no way! Too personal.
I rang Social Services and asked "do you have anyone who can give sexual advice to the elderly?" and there was a suppressed giggle, and answer "No, sorry!"