Paul McKenna webchat - 3 things that will change your destiny

Not sure where to start but at 60yrs old I find myself living on my own, anxious & totally lacking in self confidence.

I've been having counselling & have realised that at the age of 16 I went from living with dominating parents to living with a dominating, controlling Husband that was 25yrs older than me.

Two yrs ago he was diagnosed with Alzheimers & 5months ago after attacking me he was sectioned. Initially I was relieved but that was very short lived & I have found it very tough & hard to cope on my own.

I've been his carer for the last 15yrs but now I will have to look for a job. I don't have any qualifications or much experience & feel panicky at the thought of it all.

Although in theory I now have the chance at last to go out & do what I want, I don't know what that is or how to go about it?

I feel as though I'm still stuck on the inside as the shy inexperienced 16yr old.
Am I a lost cause? Is it too late?

I have always wanted to write a book. I have the idea. I have made notes. I'm keener than anything to make this happen. But every time I settle down to it I find my motivation deserts me. It's so frustrating because I really do want to achieve this - I wonder whether motivation is actually the problem or whether this stems from a lack of confidence instead? Either way any tips would be great - it would be awful to think I had never even tried in the end

If I recall correctly last time you came to Gransnet you said something about do you own the chocolate or does the chocolate own you? I have given this great thought and conclude (alas) that the chocolate owns me. I seem to be able to take control of everything else but not this. Help!

I would like to ask about stress - specifically my husband's. He works too hard and doesn't sleep enough (insists that there is no point in going to bed early as it means he will wake early) and it's really taking over. What can I do to help him?

Hi Paul,
How can we control obsessing? Those grasshoppers in the brain at 3 am that will not stop hopping about? Can we switch them off?
Thank you....

'Mend a Broken Heart'? You can do that? Mine is broken - widowed too early and too suddenly. So what can you do for me! I wait with baited breath ......................

Hello Paul I would love to know about the virtual gastric band. I am stuck in a cycle of yoyo dieting. Lose it. Put it on. Depressed about starting all over again. My will power seems to have deserted me and I find it impossible to meditate or take control of whatever it is that is compelling me into this cycle. Please help

Hi Paul

I wonder if you could suggest anything to help me please, although I think I am probably a hopeless case and maybe a magician is what I really need????

I am 53, my husband is 63 and we have been running a small business for over 20 years (Control systems/electrical engineering) we are working harder and longer hours than ever before and have virtually nothing to show for it. We sold our previous house and downsized to keep the company afloat and sold our precious static caravan too (I cried for the caravan but not the house). We often go without wages in order to keep our employees and get through hard times and couldn't bear to make anyone redundant. Additionally I am the main carer to my 98 year old (very demanding) grandma who lives alone. My mum is severly disabled and I care for my three grandchildren 2 days a week. Sometimes I feel that my life is not my own. I have no power to do anything "I want to do". Don't get me wrong I don't begrudge my commitments, I just wish I could occasionally take control and put my foot down. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

I did say I was probably a hopeless case !

Do you think there are some people who just can't be hypnotised? I have tried your CD for sleeping and I have also been to a practitioner all to no avail. I am something of a control freak and as a result don't think I allow myself to be hypnotised.

Snap! phoenix that is truly creepy, echoing my situation exactly......
Very interested in this too Paul, have stopped smoking several times using your book / willpower but lapsed after months, can you give me any advice please?

Paul, do you think that having 2 goals, i.e. wanting to lose weight and give up smoking, would be too much to tackle together?

I know that you have written a book "Quit Smoking Today Without Gaining Weight" but what would you advise someone who wants to quit smoking and lose a stone or two?

I'm not obese, but have gone from a size 10/12 to a 14 over the last year or so. I previously did a Slimming World plan, which was successful, the idea being that when I got to my target weight, I would then tackle the smoking, but after being made redundant it all seems to have fallen by the wayside!